Tag: empaths

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Sharing experiences – Why it can suck to do something with a distracted friend.

Phones

Sharing an experience?

Ever sat down to watch a TV show with friends, maybe play a game, watch a movie, go out for dinner or do some other activity with them?

Let’s say it’s a movie you wanted to see with a friend. You both start to watch it, but then you notice your friend is on their phone, reading e-mail, playing their own game or focused on something else.

Next thing you know,  you find that you have lost focus on plot of the movie itself.

You may try in vain to retain the focus on what is happening, but it’s hard. You being to experience that sinking feeling that you can’t quite place or understand. A sensation that many Empaths tend to have.

You can only half focus on what is going on because your attention is split. You might even end up taking out your own phone and check it, too.

So, what is really happening here?

As an Empath, you are always connecting in some way, on some level, with your friends or family. You do this, not only to keep tabs on how they are feeling, but to know if something major is suddenly up.  More often than not, it’s not an intentional or conscious act.

So when their focus is on something else, you will feel a pull from your shared activity. It will be like a giant, invisible magnet that draws your attention away.

In other words, your mind goes where the energy goes.

On a subconscious level, you may also be feeling things such as:

  • Am I that boring that you need other distractions?
  • If you’re not into this, I feel bad for making you be here.
  • It’s clear you would rather be doing something else.
  • Did I do something wrong?

Half the enjoyment for an Empath is sharing experiences. If the other person is not fully there, then that enjoyment can be severely depleted.

While you can refocus on the movie, you won’t gain the same enjoyment from it, nor will you walk away feeling all that great.

Sadly, with today’s addictive technology, the problem is even greater as few people can go very long without looking at their mobile devices to check their e-mail, play that game that regenerates lives every 30 minutes or see what is going on in Facebook, or whatever social media they are part of.

So what can be done?

So, what can you do about this type of situation?

Well, it depends on what you are hoping to get from it to begin with.

If it’s something you wish to share with a friend, then it may be worth telling them that. Also both agree to have a ‘no distractions’ rule and put away your phones for that period.

If you both feel the need to check them, then agree on a time for a break so you can do so, and then return to the activity.

This is just one example but it can applied to many other things.

It might be like the mother who is always cleaning and never has time to sit down with their family and watch TV.

Or when everyone else is eating at the dinner table, and the one who did the cooking is still running around, doing all the little things while saying to being eating.

Feel free to share your own thoughts and experiences on this subject.

Shared experiences are wonderful for Empaths. In my opinion, they are better than presents.

Let’s make the most of them.

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Empaths: I know you’re weary

Being an Empath is a difficult thing.

It’s tiring. Sometimes you feel like you’re on the same path you were when you first began your journey: Retreading the same old grounds.

Sometimes it seems that no matter how much you do, no matter how much you try and no matter how much you strive to make a difference, it’s all futile.

Being an Empath can be challenging, exhausting and depressing.

We, as Empaths, have a tendency to take on the negative and overlook the positive.

Yes, we do get joy from the good we see and receive, but it’s short lived. It only takes one negative comment to pull us back down again.

Being an Empath is a path that can be both draining and wearying.

There are always others who try and tear you down and invalidate you. There are always those who seem to dismiss all the progress you’ve made, all the work you have done and all the sacrifices you make.

I know it’s hard. I know many are tired. I know they wish they were anywhere but here.

Even I wonder if it’s worth it at times. But I can’t give up. That is not an option. Even when the darkness is at its greatest, I will push on through because it’s all  I can do.

I owe it to myself.

And you owe it to yourselves.

Empaths, remember you are not alone. You may feel like you are, but I promise you, you are not.

I know you are weary, but our time is coming.

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Empath Series: 30 Traits of an Empath by Just Be – Trait 4 – The media or why does this affect me so much?

televisionA while ago, I came across an amazing blog called 30 Traits of an Empath which covered many more traits than I come across before. They were written in a very clear and succinct way.

I approached the author, a very humble person, to see if she or he (I can’t be sure on the gender) would give me permission to discuss them with my guides and post them here. I was told that I may.

The traits will be presented in their original form and if you wish to see the entire list, (and if you haven’t, I really recommend that you do) you can do so here.

As always my guide’s responses are in italics.

4.     Watching violence, cruelty or tragedy on the TV is unbearable: The more attuned an Empath becomes the worse it is and may make it so they eventually have to stop watching TV and reading newspapers altogether.

Personally, I find watching the news pretty frustrating, especially since it’s designed to emotionally manipulate and enrage you.  I tend to catch the headlines, but I don’t really go further than that. On some level, it’s important to know what is happening out there and where everyone’s attention is.

Being an Empath means that when public sentiment and emotions are high, you are more likely to pick up it and become vulnerable.

It also depends if you’re attuned to such things or not. You could have absolutely no resonance with anything that is happening that day, and so you will not sense it.

Remember, Empaths tend to pick up on those things they relate to on some level. Sympathy pains are simply pain you resonate with in your own body. There are fears and deep seated traumas that can make them manifest when someone else brings them up. They can also be health issues that are not yet detected or are unresolved. You can take them as warnings or cautions that you are vulnerable to the same thing that is being discussed.

Weren’t we discussing the news?

The discussion is about resonating with what you are seeing on TV or when reading the newspaper. This, in effect, is about sympathy pains. Something many Empaths are vulnerable to.

Okay. I was expecting to get into a dialogue about how media is manipulative and should be treated with caution.

There isn’t much that doesn’t fall into that category. Most things you come across are manipulative in some way. This is because people are trying to achieve an end result and will craft their words and ideas in order to do that. So, yes, you can certainly suggest this is true for the media, but don’t separate them out to be the bad guys. They are simply providing a service that the public ask for. Otherwise they would not be doing it in the first place. Business goes where the money and demand is.

Of course, this is true for controlled media, too. In countries where it’s controlled by the government of the day, the media is especially notorious for trying to manipulate people. One way or another, they will succeed, though not always with the intended results.

When it comes to newspapers, televisions, movies and any other kind of communication media, you will often find that the more sensitive you become, the choosier you will become about what you decide to watch.

I know there are some movies or plots that always bring an emotional tear to my eye, even though the actual plot is contrived and paper thin.

That’s because you resonate to them on some level. You’re not reacting to a well-crafted story, you’re reacting to a deep longing, or possibly trauma that may even be based in a past life.

This is true for most people, empathic or not. They will watch the most contrived product because it’s a reflection of their own desires and experiences. If you can reach people on an emotional level, you can sell just about anything.

So back to the original point. Violence, news, and so on are hard for an Empath to cope with.

The only other point I will make is that many Empaths actually can sense when something isn’t true. So if they read or see it in the news, it will spark their sense of outrage and possible anger. No one likes being lied to of told things they know aren’t true, and an Empath will pick up on that pretty quickly.

So avoid the media?

No, not entirely. It’s worth knowing what is going on. Just don’t put any emotional investment into it. It is what it is, and is a general reflection of the current social situation. People love their drama. You don’t have to be part of it. You just need to be aware so you can act accordingly. 

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Empath Series: The human lie detector or fool me once, shame on me.

One of the polygraphs used by Thomas Jefferson, a portable version (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

One of the advantages that many Empaths have is that they just know when someone is lying. They can sense when something doesn’t feel right, in spite of the veneer and evidence to the contrary.

No matter how plausible a story might sound, or how convincing someone is being, the Empath will get a sense that all is not what it seems.

From personal experience, I will get a sense of anger and annoyance about having been told something that is not true. Sometimes I will sense the real truth (or if I don’t, at least I will sense what is not true) and in spite of what is said, will just know what it is.

Now, the interesting thing about this ability is that it can sometimes be blocked by a person who is very charismatic. If they have a very strong energy, they can actually fool the Empath for a short while.

I’ve had people that, while they were talking to me, I accepted what they were saying as true. However, once I remove myself from their presence, I would suddenly just know it was all a lie or a story they made up.

There is a window on fooling me. It might be a minute, it might be a few days, but once I lock onto a lie, that’s it. You won’t fool me again. I am now attuned to what is going on, and I am always aware.

Empaths are masters at reading people. They not only pick up feelings from others, but can sense energies and intentions.

There are some people, who in spite of their friendly, cheerful appearance, will make me feel like I’ve been swimming in sewage after talking to them. Time has always proven me correct. I can also sense when someone is dangerous, and if someone is manipulative.

Often is the time I gave warnings about certain people, only to be ignored. Later on, I’m told that the victim wished they had listened to me.

Nothing is more frustrating than knowing something and not being able to do anything about it. It’s like seeing a car on the train tracks, and a train bearing down, and everyone tells you that nothing is wrong. To say I find it frustrating is an understatement.

Empaths are amazing lie detectors. Only problem is that most of them don’t trust that ability. They figure they must be wrong because no one else is seeing or sensing it. They figure that there is no logical reason to be suspicious and so, they ignore their feelings, often to their peril.

When someone tells you something, and it doesn’t feel right, listen to those feelings. They are your truth. Be very careful not to ignore them.

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Phony psychics and faked paranormal or why are my eyes tearing up?

They are out there in abundance and they hurt those who are really trying to demonstrate that the paranormal side of life is real, is happening and people are experiencing it.

A quick browse through You Tube with the keyword ghost will produce a multitude of videos that claim to be real, but are not.

Some are poltergeist activity caught on tape, others are ghosts that just happen to be captured while someone decided to film some place for no apparent reason.

Mixed in there, are some examples that feel quite genuine, but thanks to all the other videos, they get lost, discredited or dismissed out of hand.

Sadly, there are many out there who pretend to be psychics while using the tricks of a stage magician.

One of the more notorious ones that come to mind from my childhood is Uri Geller. Everything he did was totally contrary to how a person with true psychic abilities would act and use his abilities.

I mean, seriously, if you really had telekinetic powers, would you spend them all bending keys and spoons? Why not just move something with your mind if you’re that powerful? Why all the window dressing? Fortunately, many of his tricks have been revealed, but people like him hurt the psychic community a lot. Sceptics come out and use them as proof that psychics and spirits don’t exist. Sadly, they go to the other extreme, though I do respect the work they do.

As an Empath, you can normally tell what is real and what is faked. When you hit upon something that is real, your eyes will start to pickle, and tear up, even though you are not sad or emotional in any way. I guess that is the equivalent to goose bumps, which is that shiver that goes through you and you feel your skin start to literally crawl.

I used to experience the tearing eye phenomenon all the time, and could never work out what it was. No one was able to tell me either. Eventually, I understood that it was when I hit on a truth that was connected to the astral / spirit levels, it would happen. When I saw something that felt real, I would break into tears. I still do. It’s both disturbing and absorbing at the same time.

I know I’m not the only one who experiences this and for those of you who do, it’s an excellent way to determine if something is real or faked.

Personally, when something is faked, even if I don’t know anything about it, I will feel a sense of extreme annoyance and irritation about the subject. I will get feelings of belligerence and anger. If I look closer, it’s because it’s a subject that’s being touted as real or true, and people believe in it.

It’s the belief in this subject that causes those feelings. If the truth comes out that it is fake, those feelings dissipate.

For those of you reading my blogs, I would hope you would use those feelings to see if what I write about feels true, and resonates.

There are genuine psychics and genuine sightings out there. Some are indeed caught on video. Use your feelings to determine the ones that are real.

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Empath series – Spirits, ghosts, negative entities and all those fun things that can’t possibly exist.

Psychics and the spirit world.

Here’s the problem with empaths and other sensitive people: They see and sense and even hear things that others generally do not.

Scientifically, such things are hard to prove, if not impossible, as what we experience cannot always be recreated and tested under lab conditions.

I was listening to an old podcast the other day, and it was said that there are no haunted houses, only haunted people.

I thought about this and I think that’s a fairly accurate statement because sensitive people are the ones who will pick up on areas that have a higher amount of activity occurring. Someone who is not able to pick up such things will experience nothing noticeable happening, though that doesn’t mean they are not being affected. I’m sure there are plenty of sceptics who have suffered depression from unknown causes and the draining of their energies.

There are certainly those who love to mock those who do sense and see spirits and that’s okay. We need perspective. We need to not fall into the trap where we read every little sign as something paranormal, even when it may not be, and can be proven as such.

Still, I wonder just how many of these sceptics have put themselves into places where such activity is high?

I only muse on this subject because psychics, empaths, and sensitive people can, and do see things that do exist on other levels.  They may not have the ability to interpret the information correctly, after all, it is just another sense and not even our normal five senses will always be correct. Just ask someone who is colour blind if that’s not true.

As scary as it is for some, entities, spirits, beings, elemental energies do exist.  The normal person in the street may not see them, but that doesn’t mean they are not there.

Those who can detect them will be under no doubt that what they see is real to them, even if they do believe they are, perhaps, crazy.

I don’t believe they are, though. Everything exists on some level and some people are just more adapt, and attuned, at seeing them.

For those following this blog, I need to make it clear that I believe that these things do exist, and the reason why is because there will be blogs which will cover these things which will be important for empaths, especially those who are suffering from depression.