Sharing experiences – Why it can suck to do something with a distracted friend.

Phones

Sharing an experience?

Ever sat down to watch a TV show with friends, maybe play a game, watch a movie, go out for dinner or do some other activity with them?

Let’s say it’s a movie you wanted to see with a friend. You both start to watch it, but then you notice your friend is on their phone, reading e-mail, playing their own game or focused on something else.

Next thing you know,  you find that you have lost focus on plot of the movie itself.

You may try in vain to retain the focus on what is happening, but it’s hard. You being to experience that sinking feeling that you can’t quite place or understand. A sensation that many Empaths tend to have.

You can only half focus on what is going on because your attention is split. You might even end up taking out your own phone and check it, too.

So, what is really happening here?

As an Empath, you are always connecting in some way, on some level, with your friends or family. You do this, not only to keep tabs on how they are feeling, but to know if something major is suddenly up.  More often than not, it’s not an intentional or conscious act.

So when their focus is on something else, you will feel a pull from your shared activity. It will be like a giant, invisible magnet that draws your attention away.

In other words, your mind goes where the energy goes.

On a subconscious level, you may also be feeling things such as:

  • Am I that boring that you need other distractions?
  • If you’re not into this, I feel bad for making you be here.
  • It’s clear you would rather be doing something else.
  • Did I do something wrong?

Half the enjoyment for an Empath is sharing experiences. If the other person is not fully there, then that enjoyment can be severely depleted.

While you can refocus on the movie, you won’t gain the same enjoyment from it, nor will you walk away feeling all that great.

Sadly, with today’s addictive technology, the problem is even greater as few people can go very long without looking at their mobile devices to check their e-mail, play that game that regenerates lives every 30 minutes or see what is going on in Facebook, or whatever social media they are part of.

So what can be done?

So, what can you do about this type of situation?

Well, it depends on what you are hoping to get from it to begin with.

If it’s something you wish to share with a friend, then it may be worth telling them that. Also both agree to have a ‘no distractions’ rule and put away your phones for that period.

If you both feel the need to check them, then agree on a time for a break so you can do so, and then return to the activity.

This is just one example but it can applied to many other things.

It might be like the mother who is always cleaning and never has time to sit down with their family and watch TV.

Or when everyone else is eating at the dinner table, and the one who did the cooking is still running around, doing all the little things while saying to being eating.

Feel free to share your own thoughts and experiences on this subject.

Shared experiences are wonderful for Empaths. In my opinion, they are better than presents.

Let’s make the most of them.

Empath Social website – Connecting Empaths

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A few years ago, I decided to set up a website that would be a portal to the other Empath projects I had done over the years. The idea was that it would all be connected in one central location, and everyone would have their own space.

So the Empath Support and Community site was created.

To do this, I spent a lot of time looking around for a platform that would host this and found this was much harder than I thought. The only one that stood out was Ning.com and that was because it was designed to be used as one. If there were any others, they certainly didn’t show up on my extensive search for them.

From the beginning, I was somewhat frustrated with Ning. It was rather limited in what I could do, expensive and had a limited cap of 1000 members for the cheapest plan. Next level up cost twice as much and gave me a cap of 10,000.

I also found that setting up the website tended to need some know-how if you didn’t want to use the rather basic standard templates.

In the end, support was lacking, theURL was not secure and I never felt it was all that it could have been.

I hit the cap of 1000 members a number of times, and found that it was a tedious process to look for inactive users and remove them so I could allow new members to join.

So, the decision was made to start from scratch. This time, I looked for a way to create my own website from the ground up and this began what was a very steep learning curve.

I’m still tweaking it but it’s now ready and functional for all who are interested.

This site features:

  • The ability to login using social media.
  • A comprehensive community system.
  • Your own blog space.
  • Groups.
  • Forum.
  • Articles.
  • Our YouTube channel.
  • Chat room that supports voice and video.

And more.

Please feel free to join up at https://empathsupport.net/empathsocial/

Psychic Burnout – How full is your well?

Empaths and psychics often love to give readings, help people and just generally make the world a better place.

When we are starting out, it’s exciting and we want to practice our abilities.

We might offer readings, healing or act as a medium to those who ask for it.

What’s more, people love receiving these kind things.

But what happens when you are dealing with more people than you can handle?

We can liken this to a well.

Your psychic energy is like a well, and the water in it is your psychic reserve.

People come with their buckets and keep on taking the water till eventually the level drops and you begin to become low on reserves.

Unless some rain comes or there is another source to fill the well, you will run out of water.

Now, most people will know that the well is empty and not try and take from it, however when it comes to psychic energies, they keep on coming with their buckets and trying to take what simply is no longer there.

As a psychic or one who is an Empath, you will also find it hard to say no, I can’t do this today.

What’s worse, people not only demand and expect you to perform, but become very angry when you don’t. If you tell them that too many people are asking for help, they will helpfully suggest that you should ignore everyone… everyone but them. And then instead of leaving you alone so you can just do what you need to recover your energy, they will insist on trying to fix you, often engaging you in pointless and frustrating psychoanalysis that you did not ask for and certainly do not need.

It’s like someone saying that they are sleepy and then instead of being allowed to sleep, they are kept awake by well-meaning people trying to work out why you are sleepy in the first place.

In the end, the well is empty, you have nothing left to give and yet, you still keep on giving it.

Psychic Burnout

This is what leads to what is called Psychic Burnout.

It’s a debilitating state where everything is an effort. Where even simple tasks, such as reading becomes a burden and anything over a paragraph long will cause your mind to wander. You will see the words but not their meaning. You will hear people speak, but not comprehend the words.

If pushed way too far, you will find it can take days, week, months or even years before you’re ready to face things again and the well starts to refill.

The problem is that people take from the well and do not put anything back in. It makes it worse that many expect the well to be always full and become angry when it is not, even to the point where they will abuse, curse or denounce it.

So many take from the well and never give a second thought to it.

If your well is empty, be kind to yourself and take some time off.

If you are taking from the well, remember to put something back in. It doesn’t have to be much, just enough so that when you, or others need that well in the future, there is still something there for all to share.