Tag: empaths

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Depression Series – Empaths and the seasons or ‘Tis the season to be jolly… I wish.

Seasonal depression

Each season has an energy to it. For instance, Spring is the energy of renewal, and Winter is the energy of withdrawal and rest.

For the empath, Autumn / Fall, can be a terribly depressing time. It’s the time when things are dying. Leafs are falling off the trees, the days are getting shorter and the weather is growing colder.

For me, there were two weeks in May, our Autumn, where I would fall into a deep, deep depression. It was debilitating and I could barely function.  After a couple of week, things would settle, and I would still feel depressed, but could function again.

It wasn’t till Spring came that things would seem to shift, and there was hope again. My depression even lifted for a few months.

But the cycle would repeat every year. And while I made the connections as to what was happening, I was powerless to do anything about it.

It’s been a long time now since I’ve suffered that, and I believe that clearing my past shock and trauma had a lot to do with that.

The energy of the season, especially for the empath, can magnify how you are feeling.

Apart from clearing the causes of your depression, it also is a good idea to work with the energy of the season.  While you may not be able to do this on a professional or work level, it’s possible to do this on a personal level.

Fall is the time to withdraw and rest, but Spring will come, and make hay while the sun shines, as the saying goes.

It is said that light therapy, and burning orange essential oils helps with seasonal depression.

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I think you out to know I’m feeling very depressed – Marvin, the paranoid android.

Empaths and depression

While Marvin, from The Hitch Hiker’s guide to the galaxy was by no stretch of the imagination an empath, he certainly was depressed, though in my opinion, not paranoid.

Depression is a really big problem of empaths. It is massive. Unless you have suffered from depression, you can’t imagine just how soul destroying and debilitating it is.

I remember, many years ago, when I went to a doctor to try and cure my own depression, he explained to me that the type of people who were depressed were those who were caring, were concerned about others and tended to be, well, empathic. I don’t recall his exact words, but he was describing empaths.

He put me on anti-depressants, and I took myself off them 6 weeks later, as they were worse than the problem.

Empaths are very, very susceptible to depression. Their life can seem an unending hell, and each day they wake up and wish they weren’t still here.

Depression has many causes, and while it is very possible to heal them, it’s certainly not always easy.

Sometimes you have to go deep. Very, very deep.

Depression does not come out of nowhere. It has a basis, which normally goes back to either childhood, or a very traumatic event in your life that you never dealt with or came to terms with.

There’s a lot to say about depression, and what you can do to heal from it, and over the coming period, I plan to repost my experiences, views and what you can do to deal with it.

It must be pointed out, though, that curing depression may take some deep work. I mean, sometimes you will need to look at things that your mind has been slipping around, or you have blocked out because you can’t bear to think about it.

The single most useful tool I’ve found for curing depression are the Bach Flower Remedies, and anyone who knows me will know I talk about them a lot, and have dedicated a huge amount of space to them over the year. I know them inside out, and so any posts about depression will generally include what can help heal in those cases.

One thing to note about depressed empaths is that they are no fun to be around. I mean this for other people, who may not be empathic, but will sense, nonetheless, that a person is hurting, feeling miserable, and really wishes they were dead.

So they tend to be avoided. Possibly the worst thing you can do, though. Isolating the depressed Empath is actually counterproductive for them, and makes them feel even worse.

Validation and support go a very long way to healing.

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Happy Birthday!… or is it?

storms and birthday

Photo by Annie Spratt
It’s your birthday today. Your special day. People are wishing you a happy birthday and it just should be a feel good day… so why are you feeling so down and depressed?

Birthdays can often bring the sense of loneliness and being alone into sharp relief. Instead of feeling part of some group, or family, all it does it highlight just how separate and depressed you are.

This should be the day where you feel loved, are treated like royalty, and you pretty much do what you like.

Instead you just want to hide away and cope with your pain in the best way you know how.

Birthday depression is a big thing for the high level Empath.  The feeling of quiet desperation,  the desire to make the most of a day that will be over before they know, and the sense of loss as they realize it’s not going to happen can really make that special day one they’d rather avoid.  It throws into sharp relief what they feel they don’t have, and may never have.

Worse, it might also remind them how no one seems to care, especially when no one seems to remember.

And on the other end of the spectrum, often, family and friends will insist on big party plans, or having the birthday person do something they really don’t want to do. Instead of doing whatever they wish, they feel obliged to make everyone else happy and end up going through the motions, just so they can get it all over and done with.

Birthdays can be little fun for empaths and they may wake up feeling down, depressed and think to themselves, I hate my life.

So, what makes a good birthday?

The answer, of course, varies, and I can only talk from personal experience, and I know for me, it’s having the entire day to yourself. Doing exactly what you want to do, and having others support it. Perhaps going out for a quiet dinner, or watching a movie with loved ones.

Some love their parties, but not all do. Some Empaths hate them, and surprise parties are even worse.  They feel embarrassed and cringe inside, while they try to make the best of a situation that is embarrassing to them. This especially applies to those who tend to be very private people.

Celebrating the birthday of an empath (or anyone) doesn’t have to be all that tricky. Let them tell you what they want to do. Let them know it’s their day, and you’ll do what you can to accommodate them.