Category: Depression

Posted on

Depression Series – Anti-depressants or how depressing, they’re screwing me up.

Anneli Rufus

Anti-depressants

It’s fortunate that depression is finally recognized as a real problem.

There are help lines out there, organizations (Where I live, there is one called Beyond Blue, which is a wonderful initiative) and they are developing drugs to help us cope.

Medical treatment is still in the early stages, though, in my opinion, but at least they are doing something.

That being said, I have tried anti-depressants. I was going through a terrible time, and my partner at the time suggested I see a doctor. He prescribed them to me. I tried several types, but found they did not work for me.

What I found was that it seemed to cut me off from my empathy, and I felt like I was walking around in a vacuum. I also found that it has a negative effect on my moods and certainly didn’t like my body. It was a very unpleasant experience.

I know that anti-depressants certainly help people, but I suspect that many empaths are not doing themselves any favours by taking them.

They mask the symptoms, not heal the causes.

If you are on anti-depressants, do not go off them without medical advice. It can harm you.

As mentioned, I believe that the Bach Flower Remedies would help many with dealing with depression. Personally, I know I’d be a basket case many times over without them. For those who are interested, I will start blogging about them, and all the ways they can be used to help heal depression soon.

The remedies do work well with any other type of treatment, and this is because they don’t work on a physical level, so they are not like homeopaths, drugs, aromatherapy, and the like, each of which has their own particular set of dangers.

That being said, if you wish to try the Bach Flower Remedies, it’s important to note that they are preserved in alcohol. While the remedy itself is completely safe to take, and does not work on a physical level, some people cannot tolerate alcohol.

There are some solutions to this:

You can dilute the remedies into a dropper bottle of water, and then put 4 drops into a glass of water. The alcoholic content is said to be too small to measure.

You can rub the remedies on your wrist or temples or other pressure points. That does seem to work. My partner responds amazingly well, and she’s sensitive to alcohol.

You can try making your own remedies. There are books on that subject.

I understand that the Bach Centre is making non-alcoholic versions of the remedies. Most certainly they have put out Rescue Remedy in different forms now.

If anti-depressants are working for you, then this is a good thing. I just have spoken to too many for whom they do not work for, and they are in an even bigger mess.

Whatever you do, make sure you know exactly what you are doing. Find out as much about them as you can. This is your body and your quality of life you are dealing with.

Depression is an epidemic and not understood enough yet. But it can be cured. I’m living proof of that. (And others I’ve treated, too.)

Related articles
Posted on

I’m having a bad day and I DON’T want to talk about it!

Sometimes things don’t go right. You know those days where everything seems to go wrong in clumps?

You might have had a rotten night’s sleep and the traffic was unusually bad on the way to work. Your car chooses that day to develop some problem. Your co-worker or staff rings in sick so you end up having to do their work and yours, but problems that never happened before (or since) occur when you’re at your busiest, stopping you from getting what you need to do done… and so on.

I’m sure most of us, if not all have those days.

And I’m sure that most of us are tired, grumpy and just over it by the time they get home.

All you want to do is just zone out, rest, or do something that will amuse you or make you happy.

However, there are people who want to talk to you, and that is the last thing you want to do right then. You tell them, I’m sorry, I’ve had a really crappy day and I’ll deal with this tomorrow.

Then they’ll say, do you want to talk about it? You tell them no, but they insist, saying it might help.

No, what will help is if you leave me alone, and give me time to rest and re-centre! And no, I don’t want to friggin’ talk about it today. I just want to let it go and move on!

People certainly mean well when they want to help, but unless someone has asked for that help, then it’s certainly best not to try and insist on giving it.

Probably the best thing to say to someone who’s had a bad day is: Understood. You know where I am if you need me. (End of communication.)

We are surprisingly resilient, and get over our bad days pretty fast. We know what we need to do and as long as we’re left alone to do it, we will be fine the next day.

Bad days happen and it’s all okay.

Posted on

Depression Series: – Exhaustion or I’m too tired to read this right now.

Many depressed people have more than just depression going on with them. They also suffer from exhaustion.

I’m not talking about the kind of gosh-I’ve-been-up-all-night-and-I-really-need-to-get-some-rest type of exhaustion, I’m taking about long term, utter weariness, where everything is a struggle and just getting up and facing a new day is a challenge that is almost insurmountable.

This weariness saps our strength, our internal fortitude, and our resolve to get a move on. Worse, it adds to the depression because it means when we have to deal with things, we don’t have the energy to do so.

Exhaustion is that will make you collapse on in on yourself.

It also triggers the self-recrimination, victim process, and you become very hard, and self-depreciating. You may well blame yourself for all the things you can’t do because you’re tired, and feel that you need to go to extremes in your behavior to change things.

All the while, you know, in the very back of your mind, that you’re in a victim / poor me cycle, and you’re hoping others will notice your extreme behavior and understand that you are pushed way past your limits, and probably can’t take much more before you implode.

This is a very, very serious state to be in, and rest and renewing energies are what is needed. Unfortunately, for some, even proper sleep is a luxury rather than something that just happens.

Those with sleep disorders will be quite prone to this type of depression.

Depression is a drain on the soul, and that leads to the exhaustion people feel.

Exhaustion leads to greater depression, which in turn causes even more drain on the soul.

You can see it’s a vicious circle and one that is very hard to break out of because many other emotions tend to kick in extreme, almost undefinable levels, such as guilt, terror, panic, and the feeling of being a victim.

We are so screwed up as a society that we would rather people repress their emotions and not bother anyone than seek to heal the causes that produce such things.

This has to change.

This will change.

Even if we do it one person at a time.

Posted on

Depression Series – You’ve done great! So why do you feel so down about it?

The pressure of success

You’ve done well. People love you, and some even hate you (which probably means you’re doing something right.)

So why do you feel so depressed? Why do you have a sense of anxiety and foreboding that something bad is going to happen?

The trouble with success, and more importantly, reputation, is that they are hard to live up to.

People see what you have done, and what you have said. They see how you have reacted, and admired your calmness within the storm.

But now you feel they expect it from you all the time.  You can’t have a bad day because that’s not supposed to be you. If you get angry over something, you get admonished for doing so, in spite of the fact others (especially those telling you off) are doing the exact same thing. The hypocrisy can be frustrating.

Once you’ve set a certain standard, the pressure is on to not only maintain it, but improve it.

But you know that’s just not feasible. Somewhere along the line, you are going to fail, let everyone down and they might decide that you were deceiving them all along.

We you being fake? We you pulling the wool over other’s eyes? Did you go out of your way to deceive anyone?

No.

However, there is much more to you than this one aspect. You are not just a one dimensional Mary Sue type person.

You have your own fears, doubts, bad days and down cycles.

That’s what makes you feel so down and anxious. You don’t feel you can be yourself on those levels, and not have all hell break loose.

Moments of brilliance are sometimes more the exception than the rule, and when you fail to deliver, your followers descend on you like sharks in a feeding frenzy over bloodied meat.

They may accuse you of being lazy, selling out, ripping off those following. They will accuse you of motives that you never in your wildest dreams imagined.

But is it so? In most cases: no.

It’s not possible to be perfect all the time. You can’t give everyone what they want all of the time.

This is a very severe type of depression, because it is insidious, and you won’t even know why you are feeling the way you are, just that you are feeling it.

Taoism states: After great success, retire.

There is great wisdom in those words, though how practical they are to apply is another matter.

Related articles
Posted on

Depression – You just can’t get over it but you certainly can be over it.

Depression is really is a major problem for so many. You don’t have to be an empath to suffer from it, but it certainly doesn’t help you if you are one.

The problem is that unless you have experienced  depression, it’s hard to understand what it’s like.

The other problem is that it’s not a one shoe fits all type thing. There are so many different forms and types of depression that it makes it hard to identify just exactly why you are feeling down, and what to do about it.

Talking is a good start, but unless the person you’re talking to doesn’t make it about themselves, then it may not be very useful.

The hardest part of being depressed is that you’re in a state of flux, where you feel like you don’t want to be here, yet unable to look at the reasons why.

There may be many reasons why that is, but often it comes down to finding out something that you afraid to find out about yourself, or remembering an incident that you can’t bear to face again.

For whatever reason, the pain and isolation is traumatic, and depression actually creates more depression, especially as you start to feel that you are being a burden to others, and you feel bad, or guilty about it.

There is also an odd phenomenon where someone who is depressed will sometimes make things worse by avoiding all forms of help and suggestion.

They go into a poor me / self-pity mode.

Typically this will take the form of:

–          Nobody cares

–          I don’t see what difference that will make.

–          You can’t help me or give me what I need.

–          You can’t understand the pain I’m going through.

–          I want to hurt me, by hurting you, and if possible, push you away so I can feel even more wretched.

So, you may say, well, why doesn’t the depressed person just stop doing this? But it’s not that easy. Once you are on this downward spiral, you almost become seduced into going further and further down, all the while thinking that the world would be better off with you.

So much more to say on this topic, and I will do so, but those who are depressed, take heart. Know that you are not alone. Know that there are those who understand what you are going through, and know that there are things out there that can actually help you without harming you.

Posted on

Depression Series – Empaths and the seasons or ‘Tis the season to be jolly… I wish.

Seasonal depression

Each season has an energy to it. For instance, Spring is the energy of renewal, and Winter is the energy of withdrawal and rest.

For the empath, Autumn / Fall, can be a terribly depressing time. It’s the time when things are dying. Leafs are falling off the trees, the days are getting shorter and the weather is growing colder.

For me, there were two weeks in May, our Autumn, where I would fall into a deep, deep depression. It was debilitating and I could barely function.  After a couple of week, things would settle, and I would still feel depressed, but could function again.

It wasn’t till Spring came that things would seem to shift, and there was hope again. My depression even lifted for a few months.

But the cycle would repeat every year. And while I made the connections as to what was happening, I was powerless to do anything about it.

It’s been a long time now since I’ve suffered that, and I believe that clearing my past shock and trauma had a lot to do with that.

The energy of the season, especially for the empath, can magnify how you are feeling.

Apart from clearing the causes of your depression, it also is a good idea to work with the energy of the season.  While you may not be able to do this on a professional or work level, it’s possible to do this on a personal level.

Fall is the time to withdraw and rest, but Spring will come, and make hay while the sun shines, as the saying goes.

It is said that light therapy, and burning orange essential oils helps with seasonal depression.