Tag: Empathy

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Did you get my e-mail or why didn’t you write?

English: icon for mailing lists

As Empaths, we may often find that we are picking up on feelings that are not connected to us, but misinterpreting them as though they are.

A comment was made to me recently by someone who thought I didn’t like them, and curiously enough, I was thinking the same thing about them.

I’ve realized that many times, over the years, I’ve actually stressed over someone’s respond to my e-mails… or rather, their lack of response.

The problem then becomes, do you try and reach out or do you just let things drop, assuming that you’ve somehow offended them?

Fact is, e-mail (and to a lesser extent letters) are a really horrible way to create friendships, or even maintain them, because life gets in the way.

And by that I mean, we get busy, we forget, or put off responses or worse, miss them completely.

Have you ever thought you sent an e-mail, only to find it still sitting in your draft box months later?

Have you ever read an e-mail, and then totally forgotten to answer it because you had so much else going on?

Have you ever stopping e-mailing someone because they never responded to you last e-mail?

I’m pretty sure that many people have experienced just that.

Problem is that we cease contact because other people have not responded, but the other person might have done the same, simply because they think that you have not responded.

Or they got busy, or they simply forgot because their memory sucks. (Just like mine does.)

I can’t recall the 100s of people who have e-mailed me over the years who have just suddenly stopped doing so without any apparent reason.

Did they miss an e-mail? Did they feel they were bothering me? Did I maybe offend them? Did we misunderstand  or misread what was said? Is their reply still sitting in their draft box?

So many ifs, and we assume the worst.

And if too much time passes, you feel awkward about trying to reconnect or see if they are still interested.

Personally, I have a policy to always respond to all e-mails, comments and feedback, even if it’s just a quick Thank You.

If you don’t get a response from me, it means something has gone wrong.

What is important is some kind of acknowledgement, good or bad. At least you get a sense of what is going on.

No answer or reaction is often much worse than any, and generally, as an Empath, you tend to assume the worst.

I guess, the best thing you can do, if you want to see where someone is at is a quick: So, how’s it going? e-mail .

Of course, you might also find yourself stuck with someone who might end up driving you crazy!

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Paranormal series: Psychic Empath or at least I think I am.

Now, it may seem odd to people reading this blog that I seem to go out of my way to discuss if psychics and the paranormal are real or not, especially, considering that I have named this blog Psychic Empaths. Indicating that I am both psychic and an Empath.

I do believe I am an Empath, and from time to time, I do certainly experience what would pass for psychic abilities.

There are certainly those who will maintain that I am both, regardless of what I tell them. There are also those who put me on a pedestal, which is something I’ve actively discouraged.

The purpose of this blog is to share my experiences and knowledge and ideas and help others benefit from it. I find that many can relate to what I’ve experienced, and just as many can’t. As I cover a very broad range of topics, eventually people will come across something they like.

I do have some hard and fast rules about what I blog about, though.

I need to believe it’s genuine.

I need to be critical, yet open about the experiences.

I need to ask the hard questions, especially of myself.

I must relay my experiences as fully and as honestly as I can. (Which means that leaving out something that isn’t convenient isn’t allowed and same goes for adding in something that didn’t happen, or happened out of context.)

I find this a difficult balance to achieve as there can often be a temptation to fudge things to make things look better, or worse as the case may be.  However, I am a purist and while that’s annoying in many ways, it also helps me to be exact.

Personally, I’d like to believe that I am psychic and that I’m a high level Empath, but there are times where I appear to be neither.

I can’t control it and things seem to come in waves. Maybe that’s how it’s meant to be because it’s not healthy to be ‘on’ full time.

And yet, I will always pick up certain things regardless of what I do. For instance, I was picking up the general anxiety of one of my staff, who suffered from low self esteem and had personal problem, and in spite of her excellent work, she never believed in herself.

Everyday I would come into work and feel this so strongly that I started to dread going to work. Thing was that I couldn’t do anything about it. Eventually she resigned and i immediately felt a great relief, in spite of the fact it meant more work for me.

But as I said, I can’t seem to control the empath side. It’s either there or it isn’t, it would appear.

What I try to look for, though, is consistency. Do I get the same results when the same events or circumstances occur?

Surprisingly, yes. I can’t control those events, but when they do happen, there are definite patterns.

For instance, when I’m feeling ‘muddied’ and  anxious, my partner will pick this up as a headache, and she will know, even if we’re not in the same room, or sometimes country.  She will also know exactly how clear I am, which will always correspond with how I am feeling.

This is a double edge sword, though, because the natural tendency is for her to distance herself from me so she doesn’t become infected by whatever is around me right then.

Consistent results are certainly important, even if you can’t control them.

It’s the reason I use Bach Flower Remedies. I can get very consistent results with them, unlike anything else I have tried. I can use them with confidence and recommend them without feeling like I’m misleading people.

Unfortunately, not everything falls into that category, and it’s the exception, rather than the rule.

Next: Searching for evidence.

 

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Empath Series: Psychic burnout or I’m too exhausted to think of anything witty to write here.

Psychic burnoutI took some well-earned vacation this month. (Hence the lack of blogs.)

As usual, I find that I tend to collapse into a heap, and while the body is willing, the spirit is not.

In this state, even thinking is an effort and answering questions is difficult. It’s even hard to read anything longer than a paragraph, and forget about writing anything.

I call this psychic burnout.

It occurs when you do too much, for too long, without a break.

Personally, I seem to arrive at it every eighteen months or so with generally fourteen or so months where I start to feel the exhaustion.

Psychic burn out is mostly borne of frustration that you feel like you are being used and depleted, and there is no end in sight, or even any recognition that you’ve moved a mountain or two.

People would certainly experience this type of thing in their day jobs, especially if they are good at it, but receive little or no recognition.

If you’re trying to be spiritual, you will tend to resist the urge to say or do anything about it, however, this leads to anger and frustration, and the sense that you are not allowed to let yourself go, and then frustration at the fact that you don’t allow yourself to get angry.

You may even feel like shouting at people who won’t leave you alone: What part of f*&# off don’t you understand? But still you don’t, in case you hurt or offend someone.

In Bach Flower Remedy terms, this is known as a Cherry Plum state: The fear of letting go.

The psychic burnout state is a horribly frustrating one to be in because it stops you from doing what you want.

It literally hurts to try and think about answers or subject that you have no clue about. (I liken it to a psychic knife in the third eye area.)

There are several reasons this occurs, the main one being that you’ve been running on empty for too long.

If you are an Empath, and you are often connecting to others to try and help them, reaching the burn out level happens too easily, especially if the flow only goes one way.

Generally, while the desire to help others is always there, there is only so much you can do.

I find the remedies that help her are:

  • Cherry Plum: Fear of letting go.
  • Olive: Exhaustion
  • Elm: Feeling overwhelmed.
  • Oak: Being pushed past your limits
  • Holly: Getting angry, and then repressing your answer and get annoyed every time someone tries to get you attention.
  • Impatiens: When you start to feel irritated with everything.
  • Red Chestnut: Concern about others.
  • Willow: If you feel hard done by.

Next: The type of calls for help that I get.

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Empath Series – Bach flower remedy: More on Elm or what else does it do?

English elm tree, Ulmus procera, at the Morton...

I thought I’d continue on with the remedy Elm today.

There are many levels to each remedy, and Elm certainly is no exception.

If anyone has any requests on what remedy can help what, let me know and I’ll feature it sooner than later.

The Symptoms of an Elm type:

  • Temporarily loss of confidence in doing a job one is capable of.
  • Despondency.
  • Feels overwhelmed by too many tasks.
  • Exhaustion
  • A sense of panic that there is too much to do.
  • Self-esteem may be affected.

The Elm type is one who is very capable of doing a job, and doing it well. They have tenacity, endurance, and intelligence.

Sometimes they stress because they suddenly feel they cannot accomplish the task set before them.

This can be due to too much pressure, or exhaustion. 

Often an Elm type can be heard to say ‘I don’t know how I’m going to get this done.’, however, they always manage to get it done in the end, and breathe a sigh of relief… until the next time, which is often the next day.

Parents who are trying to look after their children often feel exhausted, and as there is no foreseeable solution (as you can’t exactly shut your children out, nor would you really want to) it’s a daily battle.

Also, there is the carer who looks after their sick relatives, and has no time for their own lives. So much to do, and so little time to get it done in.

Elm can be a great help in these type of circumstances. 

This remedy is especially useful when you have too many tasks coming in and too many interruptions.

The empath has another level to consider. That is being overwhelmed by many feelings at the same time. This may happen in crowds or parties or even world events such as elections, disasters or incidences where emotions run high. It’s made even worse when you have several friends who are all going through a bad time.

One of the traits of an empath is that they can’t handle being at parties, in a mall or at a large festival or celebration, such as new year’s eve, where alcohol and energies fly about like there’s no tomorrow.

Elm is the remedy that helps you cope with all waves of things that threaten to overwhelm you. Taking Elm will help you cope with the stress and the feeling of panic and the belief that you can’t cope. It will aid you in calming and centring your emotions and thoughts and get through the busy times where too much is really going on.

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Empath Series: Support networks or where can I go to find others like me?

empath logo short

One of the most difficult things about being an empath is the feeling of isolation and loneliness.

Most people you tell may not understand.

They may either think you’re crazy, dismiss you as a freak or look at your blankly, wondering what the heck you’re talking about. Some will even denounce you as working with the devil. For some bizarre reason, this natural state of being seems to be an abomination and sin in some cultures and religions. (And you could do a series of topics on this, but I’m not going to get into it today.)

Worse still is the feeling and doubt that you, yourself, might really be crazy.

A support network is something that could help a lot. Though, the web has a few groups that cater for other empaths, they are not always active and some of the people are not even empaths. I certainly think the time has come to start such a network.

One day, I imagine a worldwide empath support network with charters in every country. We’re not there yet, but I believe it will happen.

This blog is dedicated to the free sharing of information of being an empath and subjects in all their forms.

Some topics you will like and relate to. Some you won’t. That’s just the nature of blogs.

Also there are various chat rooms that are geared towards the psychic side where you will find other empaths.

The good thing about being an empath is that distance doesn’t make any difference. You can be on the other side of the world and your connection will be just as strong. So a support group is much easier to create than you might first think.

For now, I’m going to share some of the resources I’ve come across in recent times, but please, if you know more, feel free to add them in the comments. (And I will try and include them in this post.)

You can help by sharing this information, including this blog.

Resources updated September 2018. (Not as many as there once were unfortunately).

Websites, groups and forums

Empath Zone – Facebook Support Page
Empath Social (Empath Community website)

Other works
Book of storms Empath 101 http://mysilentecho.com/dreamtongue1.htm
The Empath Toolkit http://www.empathconnection.com/

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Empath Series – Bach flower remedy: Elm – The remedy for being overwhelmed or I dropped the eggs.

elmOne of the complaints from Empaths that I hear a lot is that they often feel overwhelmed by too many feelings and emotions.

So much so, it drives them nuts. It is a very real problem, and causes all kinds of issues, including psychic burnout.

You might liken it to one of those old egg catching games from the early 1980s. Eggs would come from four different directions, and you would catch them. Over the course of the game, they would get faster and faster. Let three eggs fall and it was game over.

Depending on your skill and stamina, you could last a long time but eventually fatigue would kick in, and you’d drop the eggs, normally in rapid succession.

To take it a step further, it also can be likened to doing too many jobs at work when you’re short staffed, or understaffed. Unless you are amazingly skilled, you will eventually hit a point where you suddenly no longer are coping, and just going through the motions.

Mistakes happen and you collapse into a heap, exhausted and sick.

230px-MickeyMouse

This is what it can be like for the Empath on a daily basis. They are hit by too many energies all at once and they go into a toxic, psychic overload where it literally hurts to even think.

To make matters worse, the people around them tend to get angry that their demands aren’t being met, and put additional pressure on the Empath. If there is any protest, they will ask to ignore everyone… but themselves.

Psychic burnout can and often does lead to long term illnesses and mental breakdowns.

Fortunately for the Empath, the Bach Flower Remedy, Elm, will help with those feelings of too much, too soon, too overwhelming.

When taking it, the sense of panic and exhaustion lifts, and a sense of calm and organization tends to take its place.

Elm is a remedy worth keeping in the Empath’s first aid kit. It also works well with Oak (when someone is pushed past their limits) and Olive (long and short term exhaustion.)

It’s saved my bacon on a number of occasions!

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