Sharing experiences – Why it can suck to do something with a distracted friend.

Sharing an experience?

Ever sat down to watch a TV show with friends, maybe play a game, watch a movie, go out for dinner or do some other activity with them?

Let’s say it’s a movie you wanted to see with a friend. You both start to watch it, but then you notice your friend is on their phone, reading e-mail, playing their own game or focused on something else.

Next thing you know,  you find that you have lost focus on plot of the movie itself.

You may try in vain to retain the focus on what is happening, but it’s hard. You being to experience that sinking feeling that you can’t quite place or understand. A sensation that many Empaths tend to have.

You can only half focus on what is going on because your attention is split. You might even end up taking out your own phone and check it, too.

So, what is really happening here?

As an Empath, you are always connecting in some way, on some level, with your friends or family. You do this, not only to keep tabs on how they are feeling, but to know if something major is suddenly up.  More often than not, it’s not an intentional or conscious act.

So when their focus is on something else, you will feel a pull from your shared activity. It will be like a giant, invisible magnet that draws your attention away.

In other words, your mind goes where the energy goes.

On a subconscious level, you may also be feeling things such as:

• Am I that boring that you need other distractions?
• If you’re not into this, I feel bad for making you be here.
• It’s clear you would rather be doing something else.
• Did I do something wrong?

Half the enjoyment for an Empath is sharing experiences. If the other person is not fully there, then that enjoyment can be severely depleted.

While you can refocus on the movie, you won’t gain the same enjoyment from it, nor will you walk away feeling all that great.

Sadly, with today’s addictive technology, the problem is even greater as few people can go very long without looking at their mobile devices to check their e-mail, play that game that regenerates lives every 30 minutes or see what is going on in Facebook, or whatever social media they are part of.

So what can be done?

So, what can you do about this type of situation?

Well, it depends on what you are hoping to get from it to begin with.

If it’s something you wish to share with a friend, then it may be worth telling them that. Also both agree to have a ‘no distractions’ rule and put away your phones for that period.

If you both feel the need to check them, then agree on a time for a break so you can do so, and then return to the activity.

This is just one example but it can applied to many other things.

It might be like the mother who is always cleaning and never has time to sit down with their family and watch TV.

Or when everyone else is eating at the dinner table, and the one who did the cooking is still running around, doing all the little things while saying to being eating.

Feel free to share your own thoughts and experiences on this subject.

Shared experiences are wonderful for Empaths. In my opinion, they are better than presents.

Let’s make the most of them.