Did you get my e-mail or why didn’t you write?

English: icon for mailing lists

As Empaths, we may often find that we are picking up on feelings that are not connected to us, but misinterpreting them as though they are.

A comment was made to me recently by someone who thought I didn’t like them, and curiously enough, I was thinking the same thing about them.

I’ve realized that many times, over the years, I’ve actually stressed over someone’s respond to my e-mails… or rather, their lack of response.

The problem then becomes, do you try and reach out or do you just let things drop, assuming that you’ve somehow offended them?

Fact is, e-mail (and to a lesser extent letters) are a really horrible way to create friendships, or even maintain them, because life gets in the way.

And by that I mean, we get busy, we forget, or put off responses or worse, miss them completely.

Have you ever thought you sent an e-mail, only to find it still sitting in your draft box months later?

Have you ever read an e-mail, and then totally forgotten to answer it because you had so much else going on?

Have you ever stopping e-mailing someone because they never responded to you last e-mail?

I’m pretty sure that many people have experienced just that.

Problem is that we cease contact because other people have not responded, but the other person might have done the same, simply because they think that you have not responded.

Or they got busy, or they simply forgot because their memory sucks. (Just like mine does.)

I can’t recall the 100s of people who have e-mailed me over the years who have just suddenly stopped doing so without any apparent reason.

Did they miss an e-mail? Did they feel they were bothering me? Did I maybe offend them? Did we misunderstand  or misread what was said? Is their reply still sitting in their draft box?

So many ifs, and we assume the worst.

And if too much time passes, you feel awkward about trying to reconnect or see if they are still interested.

Personally, I have a policy to always respond to all e-mails, comments and feedback, even if it’s just a quick Thank You.

If you don’t get a response from me, it means something has gone wrong.

What is important is some kind of acknowledgement, good or bad. At least you get a sense of what is going on.

No answer or reaction is often much worse than any, and generally, as an Empath, you tend to assume the worst.

I guess, the best thing you can do, if you want to see where someone is at is a quick: So, how’s it going? e-mail .

Of course, you might also find yourself stuck with someone who might end up driving you crazy!

Guest blog: Soul calls by Heather from Intuitive Blessings.

DSCN1066-001I get a lot of questions about soul calls. Very many people seem to get them, however there is still so little information about them, including other people’s experiences.

So, in order to get more information out there, I’ve asked Heather from http://intuitiveblessings.com/ to share one of her stories.

Thank you Heather for taking the time to share this.

My experiences with Soul Calls are that I never purposefully go looking for them, they just find me. I feel a strong attraction to a person and begin to feel things about them to the point of it becoming an obsession!  I feel like I am being guided by a higher power to take action. My human ego self wants to run, but some unexplainable force compels me to stay. I have looked back over letters I have sent to complete strangers and think to myself, “I wrote that?!?!” “That doesn’t even sound like something I would say!” When I read your post on Soul Calls I could totally relate! I have always called them S.O.S calls 

One recent call had a tremendous impact on me due to the validation and appreciation I received in return. I order lunch meat at the local supermarket every week. One day I happened to really look at Mr. Deli Guy and without consciously doing so, I began to “feel…empath…read” (whatever you call it) him and instantly felt his energy. I don’t understand how or why this happens. I don’t understand how or why certain people seem to send out an S.O.S and without fail, I intuitively answer. Before I know it or can stop it, I am instantly attached to a stranger on an intimate level of “knowing” things I shouldn’t know about someone I only order turkey from! Suddenly, this man I have never paid any mind to has fully been brought into my awareness.

I could not get deli guy out of my head. His eyes hid a pain only I could see. I could feel his hurt, his disappointment, his loneliness. Thoughts came into my head like, “He is probably divorced, I think he might use alcohol to numb his pain, I feel like he is genuinely a good person but he can’t see it.”  All of these thoughts and feelings I was experiencing without any exchange of words.  Was I nuts? Was I imagining things? Why do I do this? What the hell is wrong with me?!?! Just like I have done in years past, I dismissed it and tried to get deli guy out of my head!

Weeks pass, and on my visit deli guy who I never have talked to, sees me and suddenly comes out from behind the counter and starts literally vomiting all this info. He explained to me that a few years ago, he had been laid off from a highly regarded aeronautics company. He had been an engineer there.  He then proceeded to explain how he went from being an engineer to a deli guy. I was so taken aback by his disclosure, I don’t even remember what my response was, but I remember how I felt. My heart ached, I knew exactly why he was telling all of this to me – he feared judgment, he had no self confidence, he felt like a failure.

I left without really responding to deli guy because I was so taken aback by the encounter. Losing his job must have taken away a huge part of himself along with it. There was so much I wanted to tell him but that is not something one tells to a complete stranger!!! Well, as hard as I fought NOT telling him those things, that unexplainable pull would not go away. I was completely out of my comfort zone. I don’t do this kind of thing. I don’t even know this man, yet I intimately know so much. It’s maddening.

More weeks passed and then I couldn’t stand it any longer so I ap

proached him… “Deli guy, remember that day when you told me about losing your job? Well, something has really been bothering me and I just felt like I should tell you. I want you to know that you are more than your job. I don’t judge you for where you work and neither should anyone else.” His face softened and he proceeded to tell me how he used to go golfing every week with a group of buddies that don’t talk to him anymore. I acknowledged how incredibly hurtful and hard that must have been. No one should treat him like that and they were not real friends. People should love and respect him for who he is no matter what the job title. He hugged me and thanked me and I was on my way.

The next week when I went to the store, he literally sprang across the counter to greet me. “You will NEVER guess what happened after you talked to me that day… Remember the friends that deserted me after I was laid off? Two days after our conversation, one of my old buddies called me and asked me to go golfing! I hadn’t spoken to him in over 3 years!”  His eyes were filled with tears, “I don’t know who you are or how the planets aligned to make that happened, but you are like some “Cosmic angel” It touched me so deeply I can’t ever thank you enough!” He hugged me three times and kept wiping tears from his eyes. Little did he know, he wasn’t the only one who got a gift that day!

Empath series: More on psychic burnout or how many hats do I have here?

Image-1 (6)One of the things that contribute to psychic burn out are the requests for help that I get on a pretty regular basis.

For instance, I get frequent requests for help by e-mail.

I would say, they would come at the rate of around four to six a month, and while not very many in the overall scheme of things, each one does take a fair enough of time to deal with as I will answer all mail I get.

Some of them are just thank you for doing what you do, e-mails, and those are always wonderful to get.

However, most are people asking for help on some level.

The type of requests I get  generally fall into the below categories.

–          People who are in real trouble and need help now.

–          People who have genuine questions about experiences that have happened to them.

–          Those who want answers to somewhat frivolous questions

–          People who want answers to questions that can’t be answered.

–          Those who ask the same question over and over until they get the answer they are looking for.

Let’s look at them one at a time.

People who are in real trouble and need help now

This is something that can’t be ignored. Sometimes, it is a matter of life and death, and I can feel this, so I will respond as soon as I can.  Sometimes I can help the person in one reply, but more often than not, it can be a long term project until you help get their life turned around. Generally, though, it can be a very rewarding correspondence.

Contribution to psychic burn out: 1-2 out of 10

People who have genuine questions about experiences that have happened to them.

I get these ones the most. People have had experiences they can’t quite explain and are not sure what to do with them. Many of these are things like soul calls or what might be a psychic attack. I try to answer them best I can. 95% of these types of e-mails are one-offs, and I never hear from them again after I answer. As a rules, I often enjoy answering these types of questions.

Contribution to psychic burn out: 1-2 out of 10

Those who want answers to somewhat frivolous questions.

I get these occasionally and it’s generally someone who has some relationship issue that they want answered. As a rule, these e-mails tend to be very long, and (sometimes a little rambling) so it takes more time, and energy to get through it, and then work out what the question is, and what answer (if any) can be given. The relationships in question are about potential ones, and not ones that they are already in.

Personally, I find those types the hardest to answer as I don’t have clue what is going through the mind of the other party. Most of the time I don’t get any answers. Sometimes, I do, but that’s more the exception.

Contribution to psychic burn out:  6 out of 10

People who want answers to questions that can’t be answered.

I get this from time to time and I simply just don’t have answers, other than generic advice for someone. I’ve had some e-mails sit in my inbox for almost a year before I finally get something.

General rule is: If I don’t feel a flow in answering a question, then it’s a very bad idea to force it and I hate giving bullshit, generic answers, that anyone can give.

Clearly, I feel bad when I can’t give an answer because part of me feels that I should be able to, but on the other hand, I’m not the repository of information. Yes, I do get a lot of things that flow easily from me, but there are times when I feel a great resistance, and pursuing any answer will cause a massive drain on my energies.

In fact, trying to do something that doesn’t flow tends to be the biggest drain on psychic energies.

Contribution to psychic burn out: 8-9 out of 10

Those who ask the same question over and over until they get the answer they are looking for.

This type is the most frustrating. No matter how many times you give someone an answer, they will come back asking the same question in a different form. They will also ignore whatever you’ve just said, and also ignore any questions you’ve asked them.

The most frustrating thing with this type of person is that they are demanding, ungracious, and seem to think that you owe them something.

Generally, the answers they need to hear are not the answers they want to hear. In the end, the responsibility for knowing what is going on, or resolving their issues is their responsibility.

The problem with drain occurs when there is no equivalent energy exchange. You’ve put all you’ve got into helping this person, but you don’t receive anything in return.

Contribution to psychic burn out: 9-10 out of 10

Now, being altruistic, I would just love to help everyone all the time and fix up their lives for them, and answer all their questions, but I’ve found that it’s just not possible, at least, not without making myself very sick.

In the end, there is little choice but to shut down for a while and look after yourself.

Next: Should we charge for our services?

Empath Series: What is a Soul Call (part 5) or does this count as a love spell?

Melbourne's CBD from Docklands at twilight

We’ve discussed how Soul Calls are a call for help to the universe, and how they may be answered, and I thought it would be worth discussing what they are not, and what they can’t be used for.

Someone once asked me if they could be used to draw a person to you, or to make someone fall in love you.

The short answer is, no.

The long answer is, when a Soul Call goes out, you are asking for help to your problem. The one who responds is generally the most qualified person to help.

More often than not, this might be someone you don’t expect, or someone you have not even met yet.

When they come into your life, you may even be resistant to them because you are looking for something else.

However, you wouldn’t contract a plumber to fix your electrical fixtures.  The same holds true for soul calls.

To use them as a tool to try and manipulate others simply does not work, and why would you want to do so in any case? Would you really want to make someone fall in love with you and act in a way that is not in keeping with their own soul?

Having said all that, you can actually call for someone who is right for you if you are after a relationship. It may not be the person you desire (and more often than not, the one you want right now may not be best for you on a long term basis) but they will come.

Also, it’s important to be aware that sometimes you will need to go through, and experience things that will make you ready for this person. This may take more time than you might like or expect, but what you will learn, and gain, will be very important for the longevity of your relationship. Timing is everything.

And even if you are ready, the partner may not appear right away, either.

To illustrate this point, I’ll share one of my own experiences.

My first marriage was a soul call, and while I already foresaw that it would end before it even began, I also knew that in order for me to get to where I am now, I had to follow my feelings and trust that it would work out as it was meant to.

I learned a lot from it, gained a lot, and when the time came, we went our separate ways because we had diverged so much from the paths we started on.

I gave myself a long time to be alone, enjoy my own company, and just do the things I wanted without feeling the pull of others around me.

Six or so years later, I felt I was ready for another relationship and I sent out a call saying that I was ready, come and find me. At the time, I had quite a few potential women who were interested in me, but none of them felt right, so I didn’t encourage anything.

I then felt I needed to create an eHarmony (Online matchmaking service)  account, and I joined for 3 months, but had no draws to anyone. I did meet one or two, and they showed interest, but I knew they were not for me.

Then after six months, I felt a strong pull to reactivate my membership. I waited until there was a special on (which saved me a lot of money) and re-joined.

I knew I was looking for something, but wasn’t sure what. I went through about 400 profiles until I hit one that just drew me.  I went through the contact procedure, and when she answered back, I felt right away that I had found who I was looking for.

Today she is my partner, but the thing I wanted to point out here is that there was a reason it took six months to meet her.

When I sent out the Soul Call, she was in another country.  She was considering what she wanted to do next in her career path when this offer from Australia came up and the offer she really wanted to follow fell through.

So she ended up in Melbourne, Australia. The timing of meeting was just right.

When you send out a Soul Call, it will be answered, and it will be the right answer. You just have to trust the process.

Empath Series: What is a Soul Call (part 4) or am I supposed to get something out of this?

You might wonder (or not) if there is any benefit to answering a soul call. It can be a lot of work, and while the pay offs might be rewarding at times, there will be other times where you feel it’s just been a waste of your time and effort because nothing seems to change.

If you’re altruistic, you won’t care if you get something out of it. Still, there are definite benefits to answering soul calls.

I guess the easiest way to illustrate this is to tell my own experiences.

My first call was back in 1987, where I felt a compulsion to aid this lady I was friends with. She had major traumas, and I felt I could help her. As I had no clue what I was doing, I fumbled around for a few weeks, trying different things until finally I got to the answers.

They’re not relevant to this topic, but I gained two things from that initial experience.

The first was realizing that I could connect to other people, and that was a bad idea, as they could drag you under with them if you didn’t disconnect. I swore I would never allow that to happen again. I did not know the word ‘empath’ back then, but I now knew I was one .

The other thing that happened was that my guides stepped in, and just plain outright told me the answers. This was a really intense experience, and everything was right on the money. Ironically, I dismissed this experience as having guides wasn’t part of my belief system at the time. However, the experience was very real and showed me there was something outside myself.

The second soul call happened in 1994- 95. That was a success, and it gave me quite a few gifts in return.

I was introduced to the Bach Flower Remedies through the lady I was helping.

I gained knowledge that put me firmly on this current path.

I was introduced to people that I needed to meet in order to fulfil a soul contract which had been part of my life till then.

It sparked the dark night of the soul event that allowed me to let go of my old and redundant belief system and embrace a much healthier one.

It made me realize there was much, much more to myself than I had ever suspected. When I finally understood what I had to do, I knew how to do it, and it felt like slipping into a pair of well worn shoes. It opened doors.

And while it is true that the appreciate factor of these people wasn’t all that high, what I took away with me was something money can’t buy.

A Soul Call is not only a chance to help someone else, but an opportunity to grow and gain valuable insight into who you are, what you can do, and to progress along your chosen path.

Next: What a Soul Call is not.

Empath Series: What is a Soul Call (part 3) or I know I come across as a mad person, but….

One of the things with Soul Calls is that you may feel very awkward or embarrassed passing the message on. The Fear of looking foolish or deluded tends to stop us from doing so.

For instance, I deal with people who are sometimes under, what you could term, Psychic Attacks. This is a topic for another blog, but in short, it’s an attack from another person, or something in the astral that is dong on a mental level.

I know they are real. I’ve spent my entire life learning about, and dealing with them, but try telling someone, who you don’t know, that they are under psychic attack.

Not only does it sound crazy, but you would feel that the chances are that they will question your sanity and credibility.

And yet, that’s exactly what I’ve had to do from time to time. As I know better nowadays to ignore such calls, I just pass on the message, and explain what I’m getting. I’ve yet to have someone tell me that I’m crazy. In fact, I get the opposite. They say: that makes sense and explains a lot.

Fortunately, not everything sounds as crazy, but even telling someone they are possibly an Empath can be a challenge.

I have noted that as it’s the message they need to hear, the chances of them actually dismissing you as a nutter are very small. At least in my experience and I’ve had 100s of such calls.

Generally, I find that people shift in and out of your life as needed. I cannot recall the amount of people I’ve been called on to help, and who have moved on just as quickly. From time to time, I might hear from them, and be told that I’ve made a difference. That’s always heartening to know.

I’ve also sent out Soul Calls, too. The thing that amazes me is how quickly they can be answered. I’ve seen it as fast as the next day when I’ve asked for answers to a question I needed to know.

Every so often, I’ll put out a call for my soul family to come and find me, and sure enough, they will do so. I’ve even had people tell me that they felt a compulsion to contact me, even though they weren’t sure if I would even read their e-mails.

Anyone reading this particular entry is not doing it by chance. It is because it contains information that you will need at some point.

Nothing is random.

Right now, my main pull it is to put out as much information as I can, on this blog, about Empaths, Depression, Healing, and many other subjects. I don’t know how many will read it. I guess that doesn’t matter. I know that those who need to find it will.

Next: What do you get out of a soul call?