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The signs of being an empath

This list is what many people may experience if they are highly emphatic. You may not experience them all, but some do. This list is not inclusive.

  • You may be very sensitive to noises. They may not be loud, but they feel like they go right through you.

 

  • You are sensitive to harsh lights, strong smells. The energy of these things can actually induce a state where you are experiencing strong feelings triggered by them.

 

  • It’s a real trial being at places such as parties, nightclubs where there are so many people that you can barely move, and the noise is so loud that you try to leave your body until it’s all over and you get to leave. An empath will often try and leave such places as soon as it’s politely possible. They cannot understand how people can go to these places night after night, or even how they could be enjoying themselves.

 

  • You may also hate crowded places such as shopping plazas, train stations or just too many people in the same room. Normally it’s a place where there is chaotic energy, and the people around you are stressed and just want to get what they are there to do over and done with.

 

  • You may experience periods of anxiety for no apparent reason. No matter what you do, you can’t seem to let it go, or get over it, and you have no idea why.

 

  • You are clinically depressed, or feel depressed for no apparent reason. Once again, no matter what you try, you just can’t ‘get over it’.

 

  • You carry a lot of guilt, even if it’s for another’s action or for something you have done that has been received in a way you did not expect or desire.

 

  • You feel over sensitive to whether people want to be around you or not. Indeed, if you sense that you are not welcome somewhere or by someone, you will hastily make the quickest retreat you can or become ungrounded.

 

  • You feel ungrounded. That is, you are all in your mind, rather than your body. When you are somewhere where you do not feel comfortable, or are bored, or just do not wish to be there, you will often retreat into your imagination, and travel to far off and distant places. Anywhere but where you are.

 

  • You can always tell how someone else feels, even if they tell you something else. This is often taken personally, though generally, it’s just the other person having issues, which have nothing to do with you. The closer you are to someone, the more you will fear it has to do with you.

 

  • You tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. You make extremely sure that someone has been given every chance, and more, before you act to stop them from doing something that may be hurting or putting you under pressure. Even if this person is acting like a complete jerk, you’ll still try to give him understanding and compassion. Sadly, in this current world, doing such things are often abused, or worse, you end up being the bad person.

 

  • You feel a great connection to animals and things of nature, including plants and trees. Indeed, you may sense the energy of an area very strongly, be it positive or negative.

 

  • If you see someone in distress, pain or who is suffering, you will automatically feel bad along with them, in order to show they are not alone. You may even feel their physical pain and certainly feel their emotional pain. You may actually feel guilty if you do not empathize with such a person and will often put aside your own needs, even if you happen to be feeling good. You cannot abide another’s suffering.

 

  • You may have an overwhelming desire to help, heal and save others from themselves. It is important for the empath to not jump right in and try to ‘fix’ someone who they perceive to be going through a rough time. This is a trap many empaths can fall into, but often their help is not always welcome, or worse, their help is abused, and the empath ends up being used and drained of emotional energy and resources. An empath has a way of discerning if they should be helping someone or not. I call them ‘Soul Calls’.

 

  • You have an inbuilt lie detector. Someone can be telling you a bare-faced lie, but you will know if it’s not true. The interesting thing about this is that you may not know right away, but you will know, and often quite soon. People will often have a window to try and fool you, but once you’ve had time to consolidate all those feelings, you will always know if someone is trying to lie to you, or manipulate you.

 

  • Many empaths are natural healers, and have the ability to heal others either with the laying of hands, or from a distance. Empaths are generally drawn to healing, or a profession that aids others in some way.

 

  • If someone find something funny or sad, or has a strong opinion about a certain subject, you may find yourself agreeing with them, in order to match their energies. Then you may find yourself doing it with the next person who comes along. You always find yourself in agreement with who you are with and you only feel your true feelings when you are along. This doesn’t mean you are wishy-washy or weak, it means that you are tuning in to who the person is and what they are feeling, and allowing their energies to overwhelm yours. Many empaths do this because they feel it will help build a rapport with the other, but all it really does is invalidate who you are, and no one thanks you for it either. Standing in your own space and power can be quite challenging for an empath.

 

  • You don’t feel like you belong to this world. Indeed, the empath will often feel like a fish out of water, and honestly believe that they don’t belong here. That’s because the behaviour of others are so strange and alien to them, they just can’t relate.

 

  • You may feel overwhelmed by too many people, energies or emotions happening all at once. Being an empath is like being a psychic sponge. If you do not have control over your abilities, and know how to purge, you will eventually go into toxic overload, especially when there is so much psychic pollution out there. Sometimes having a cleansing shower can work wonders.

 

  • You and others consider yourself a highly sensitive person. Even the smallest change in moods can be picked up by you. It can be very disconcerting.
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Depression series – Empaths and the holidays or Where has my holiday cheer gone to?

Holiday depression

The holiday season is very hard on empaths. This is especially true for the Christmas and new year period, where everyone feels they should be with family, out celebrating and just having a good time.

Problem is that so many people are alone. They feel like they are missing out on a party where everyone is invited but them. They feel as though they should be enjoying things, but they can’t because they have nowhere to go. No-one to turn to.

What should be a happy and blissful period becomes a wretched and miserable experience.

People get lost in the memories of the past, of better times, of loved ones lost and some view how it was with rose coloured glasses; remembering the good old days.

Multiply this by several thousand, and then by several thousand more, and you have an energy that knocks the empath for a loop during the holiday period.

They will pick up on this intense feeling of depression and hopelessness, and not know why. There will be a sense of loneliness and separation, even if they are with loved ones.

In the northern hemisphere, it’s even worse, as it is winter in many places, and the lack of sunlight contributes to depression.

Add to that the Solstices (either longest or shortest day of the year) which tends to have chaotic energies, you have a recipe for massive depression.

How do you heal such a thing? Not easily. You can’t go around to each person, and help them. Many have their pride, and many are stuck in their own dramas, and unwilling to shift.

I know, personally, I spent my fair share of birthdays, Christmases and birthdays alone. Once upon a time it used to bother me greatly, but I reached a point where I realized that it really didn’t matter. It just meant I got to do what I wanted to do, which works for me.

For the New Year, instead of feeling the need to go out and party, I’d use that as an opportunity to send positive energies to the world and hopefully help bolster it.

Perhaps that is all you can do for now. Have a group prayer. Send love and healing energies to those who need it, and know that it will reach those who need it, and are ready to receive it.

But be aware of the fact that it’s a miserable for many. This is very important. Otherwise, you will feel depressed and will have no idea why there is so much pain.

Bach Flower Remedies: 
Red Chestnut  – Concern for others
Walnut – Protection against external influences (link breaker)
Star of Bethlehem  – For shock / trauma

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Depression series – Empaths and concern for others or Why didn’t you call?

Over-concern for others.

Check-list

  • You worry about others
  • You feel bad about when others try and fail.
  • We feel anxiety when others don’t come home when expected. 

Empaths often get depressed in regards to other people. 

It might be for the person who has gone to buy a special present for someone, only to have gotten it very wrong, due to lack of knowledge. You may feel bad for them because you feel all the effort they put into it has gone to waste.  You wish things had worked out for them with all that work, and it makes you feel, sad, bad and terribly depressed.

Perhaps you might be worried about a friend or a loved one in regards to how life is going for them, or if they are doing well or not.

If we fear something is wrong with them, we, ourselves, may feel anxious, and will not be able to rest until we are reassured that all is well. We tend to experience that awful sinking feeling of anxiety in the pit of our stomach until we hear some news that reassures us.

This is especially true for empaths with children who are out late or their partner has not returned at the normal time. We immediately imagine the worst and fear that something terrible has happened.

It’s hard to disassociate ourselves from the fear to check on your feelings, as we are too attached to the outcome, and that colours what we are feeling.

Intuition works well, but if it’s tainted by our fears, it can make us feel things which aren’t true. It’s hard to step back and be objective in these kind of situations as we tend to have too much of our own selves invested in our relationships.

For some empaths, they often don’t feel good unless others are feeling good. If they are having a rough time, we will put our own happiness on hold until they are doing better.

This is not healthy as it not only hurt you, but actually makes things worse for those you are concerned about. Not only do they have to deal with their own problems, but they also have to take you into account, putting pressure on them.

I know, from personal experience, that I can’t have a bad day without everyone around me going into melt down over it. It drives me crazy. Sometimes I just want to work through things, and not have to go into damage control because of it. Sometimes I just want to have a bad day and work through my feelings.

People have bad days. People need bad days. They need those times to let out their frustration. Or maybe they just aren’t feeling well. It doesn’t really matter what the reason is, it’s important to give them space to be, and show that they are supported, without making it into something it isn’t.

Of course, being empaths, we can’t help but care.

I would suggest that the key to dealing with this is to understand that the other person does know exactly what they are doing on a soul level. Everything is as it should be; even those really crappy events that seem to crop up in one’s life. If you can know and accept this, and know it in your heart, then you can let go of the fear, and understand that they are living their life as needed.

Bach Flower Remedy: 

Red Chestnut.

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Depression series – Empaths and the dark night of the soul or My world is falling apart and nobody even seems to notice.

The dark night of the soul.

Check list

  • You feel there is no hope. You’ve tried everything and nothing has worked.
  • There is no yesterday no tomorrow, just a desperate and empty now of desolation and anguish. 
  • The emotional pain is overwhelming.
  • You feel pushed way beyond your limits of endurance to the point of breaking. 
  • You feel all that you believe in is coming apart. 

The dark night of the soul, as it is called, is a very traumatic and severe type of depression.  It feels like your entire world is coming apart. Whatever hope you once held has been lost and all you can do it hang on for dear life, and try and survive.

No matter what you do, you are overwhelmed by waves of negativity, even when you are trying to be positive.

This is a terrible state of depression.  There are no obvious solutions and chances are those around you will not understand what you are feeling, because you can’t explain it to them. Some may even choose to take offence and make it about themselves.

I remember when I hit this stage. I found the people around me had varying reactions to me.

Many were oblivious that I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. A couple asked me what was wrong and tried to help, but I truly felt there was no hope left, so they stopped trying after a couple of days. One took offense and made it a reason to have a vendetta against me, even long after the event passed.One chose to use this information against me when I confided in him.One first denied I was having any issues, and then used it was an opportunity to talk about themselves.

I had a mixed response to my dark night, but regardless, while I was in it, I didn’t feel anyone could help.

The dark night of the soul is something you can’t understand, not really, unless you’ve been through it.
But what is really going on? Why do we arrive at such a point?

What is happening is that this is our last, desperate attempt to hang onto a belief system that no longer serves us. One that has ceased to work for us for a while now, but we refuse to acknowledge it.

We hang on with all our might to what we believe should be, but really, we need to let go, and embrace a new line reality.
There are many old belief systems that might no longer be valid for us.

This could be in regards to a relationship that needs to end.

Maybe it’s time to change your lifestyle or belief system. In my particular case, I believed that I would never be loved, have a partner or find someone and I was destined to always be alone.

Today, such thoughts seem inane to me, but at the time it seemed like a very real concern. I felt I had tried everything, and everything had failed on all levels.
I was stuck in a set of beliefs that no longer were relevant to the direction I had to go. Until I was prepared to accept something greater, I would be unable to move on. However, I was so convinced I had worked it all out that I was no longer allowing growth to continue.

The dark night of the soul is actually a blessing in disguise. It heralds the start of new spiritual growth. Some say it is the doorway to true spiritual growth.
A new way. A new start. It means that it’s time to let the past go, and accept that there are things you do not know, and let new ideas come into your life.

It’s a purging. It’s a breaking of energies. And that’s what makes it so painful.

This was just before I was introduced to the Bach Flower Remedies, and so I had to get through this alone. When I finally emerged, I found that I had new hope, and things were shifting and my life was never going to be the same.

Remember, at its most extreme, Yin will become Yang (and visa versa). They say it is darkest before the dawn, and this is true.

If you are experiencing your own dark night, know that things will get better and it may herald a much greater and amazing journey.

Bach Flower Remedy:

Sweet Chestnut is the remedy for this state. It allows you to embrace a new belief system, and let go of the old one, without breaking you.

It works well with Walnut, which is the remedy for change.

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Depression series – Empaths and Anger or My depression is making me very angry.

Anger

Anger, while not actually a type of depression, can often be triggered by depression. This is an article on the type of anger that empaths tend to suffer from.

Empaths, particularly those who are on the spiritual path, tend to repress their anger.
This is extremely unhealthy.

There is this stream of thought that states that spiritual people do not get angry. I understand that in some religions and cultures that even thinking anything negative is forbidden.

There is a  perception that we should always be love, peace and joy and not allow such emotions to come up, otherwise how can we claim to be a good person, or a spiritual one?

While I can understand that we should try to avoid giving energy to negative thoughts, denying them is not the way to do it. In fact, all it does it make them fester and grow stronger.

Remember, what you resist, persists and what you look at, bring into the light and make your own will no longer have any power over you and disappear.

But anger is anger. Just denying it doesn’t make it go away. It needs to be dealt with, and you can’t do that by refusing to acknowledge it.

Repressing anger produces harmful negative effects.
We become angry at not allowing ourselves to be angry in the first place, and then we supress that, which in turn creates more anger. It’s a vicious cycle.

This can lead to several things.

A great amount of repressed anger.
A psychic pain around the third eye. By psychic, I mean it’s not physical pain, but a mental, sharp pain, like someone sticking an ethereal knife into that area.
Episodes where you suddenly feel that you want to take a weapon of some kind, and use it on anything that seems to be in your way.  Such thoughts such as, ‘kill ’em all’ might be typically going through your mind.
You are afraid to let go of your anger, because you fear the outcome of it.

Such repressed anger not only has a toxic effect, but it may lead to explosive events, such as road rage. It may be the quiet person who snaps and everyone says, I never would have suspected they would do something like that.

Anger is borne from fear and when we a lot of fear it may become malignant.

Expressing anger is healthy. Just don’t hold onto it once you have done so. Empaths tend to worry about the consequences of showing their anger. They believe they will drive others away, or enter into a confrontation they do not want.

While both may lead to such things, there are ways to express anger without being violent, or abusive, or demeaning about it.

Express how you feel and letting others know that this is something you need to do and let out is one method.

Many people are angry in the moment. However, once they have said their piece, they will let it go and forget about it the next moment. Their anger is in the moment and rarely lasts beyond that.

The problem with expressing your anger is that while it is healthy, those who you are expressing it to sometimes can’t let it go. Your words and your reactions will haunt them. Some will hang onto it and let it fester, becoming angry in their own turn.

This is why it’s vitally important to never get personal with someone. Once you start doing that, you will become lost in a cycle of incriminations and accusations that do no one any good and only end up hurting both parties in the end.

No one ever wins such arguments. Generally, all you end up doing is walking away, and stewing over it in your mind, thinking of the injustice of it all until the next time things explode.

If you are able to do so, there are things worth bearing in mind.

Take people in the moment.

We are not our pasts. Yes, they define who we are right now, but remember to take people in the moment. Don’t force them into a pattern they may not wish to be in any longer.  People can, and do change if they are working to do so.  However, do not confuse this with someone who you want to change, but is unwilling to shift. Such people will keep you in your own patterns, which is not healthy.

Do not get personal.

When you get personal, or attack someone on a personal level, you will have lost your case. Once you put someone on the defensive, they will defend and there it is unlikely they will hear what you are really trying to say, because they are too busy trying to prove their own case.

Many people have a strongly defined sense of right and wrong. They generally consider their actions to be ‘right’, which is always based on their belief system and how they view the world. Anyone who has a differing view is considered as ‘wrong’.

Interestingly enough, the other party will have the same type of model of their own world. They feel they are right and anyone who they don’t agree with is wrong.

However, right and wrong are strictly relative things, and in the greater reality, they don’t exist. What is right today may become wrong tomorrow, and what is right tomorrow may have been wrong today.  We, as individuals and as a society keep on changing right and wrong as we go along.

Really, though, there is no such thing. Right and wrong are quite individual. Right can be best described as something that takes you closer to who you wish to be and wrong as something that takes you further away.

As everyone has different goals, to try and fit everyone into one belief system just doesn’t work. Just because they do not agree with your views, it doesn’t mean they are wrong. It is simply another perspective.  The true gift is that you get to see another way you may not have considered. You might not agree with it, at least not at that point of time, but acknowledge it, accept it, bless it and let it go.

I could get more holistic here, but the point I’m trying to make is that our anger at someone generally tends to be a difference in belief systems. Most of the time, there is something going on that we aren’t aware of so it’s best not to make judgements unless you have all the facts; and those we don’t always get.

If we can express anger in a calm and healthy way, and explain to whoever we are talking to that this is what I am feeling, and while I don’t expect you to agree with it, I want you to at least hear me and understand, it can help a lot.

The other thing to make clear is that you’re not looking to be fixed. You’re not looking for solutions and you certainly don’t want to be told what you should do in order to resolve the situation. You just want to express yourself. If you want answers, you will ask for them.

Too many of us, especially empaths, are ‘fixer uppers’. We feel we have the answers, and in many cases we do… for ourselves.

If asked, we best just share our own experiences and perspectives, and say that this is what works for me. Try it if you wish.

We might be spiritual being, but we are having a human experience and with that comes all the emotions that us humans have. If you feel anger, express it in a healthy way. Do not repress it. In the long term, there will be health problems by doing so.

If you’re wondering how to not be angry or how to overcome your anger, I’ve personally found that shifting your perspectives and understanding others points of views goes a long way to helping.

Generally, if we don’t want to see another person’s point of view, it means we have a vested interest in denying it and that’s alright. What we may want for ourselves may not be what others want for us.

We may need to fight for what we desire and I believe that’s best done by convincing the other parties that it’s in their own interest to give us what we want.

Of course, this is not an inclusive list of how to deal with anger, or the reasons for anger.  They are simply my own observations and experiences.  I hope it helps.

Bach Flower Remedies:

Holly is the remedy for anger. Cherry Plum is the remedy for fear of letting go

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Being credulous doesn’t mean I’m not sceptical, too.

The sceptical Empath

My life has been unusual, to put it mildly. Those who know me would not deny that, and there are some things that I just can’t explain away, no matter how creative I become.

I’ve seen and experienced a lot of things, some of which will be posted to this blog in time.

This is what this entry is about. How credulous am I? What measures, if any, do I take to try to ensure that all I’m writing about isn’t just the delusion of some active imagination?

And that is a good question.

I’m what you would call a purist and I prefer to deal with facts and true experiences. It’s easy to ignore things if they don’t fit your belief system. However, believing that the world is flat does not make it any less round.

I truly believe that we do more harm than good to our cause if we ignore explanations that account for why something happens.

I feel that in order to remain objective about things, you need to be ready to accept that what you thought was so, may not be correct at all. I’ve certainly gone through that a few times in my life.

As new information comes up, I take that into account. Sometimes it fits into the bigger picture, and sometimes I have to rethink what I thought I knew. As long as I remain open to new information, I know I will get to the answers.

Over the years, I’ve done some intense studying on universal laws, life before death, after death, reincarnation, souls, manifesting, and so on. I read everything I could get my hands on and ran it through my mind and my feelings.

Eventually I reached a point where if I focused on a subject, I would ‘feel’ the answer. Meaning that I would get answers that felt right to me, and made sense. Sometimes the information would come quickly, sometimes it would come in section, and sometimes it would take years, with refinements and clarifications added.

I believe that getting the answers was a matter of being attuned to the information. There have certainly been times when I’ve been quite surprised by the results.

A lot of my works do have their basis in my studies of other works, and for that I acknowledge people like Neale Donald Walsch and Michael J Roads and Kyriacos Markides as three main sources of inspiration. Those works helped attune me and allowed me to understand and bring down much more information.

All my work is my work. They are my feelings and thoughts on a subject. What I write feels true for me, though, this may not be the case for others, as everyone has their own individual reality.

If you read these topics and it resonate with you, then use it. If not, then simply use it as another person’s perspective, which can be just as valuable.

By nature, I tend to be somewhat of a sceptic and a cynic. While I keep an open mind about everything, I treat many things I hear about with a healthy dose of scepticism. There’s a lot of misinformation out there, and there are many people who repeat what they hear from other sources without check to see if it feels right for them.

I also trust my intuition and feelings 100%. Many things that should NOT be possible, feel right to me. When I was younger, I ignored those feelings, and my life just never worked out as I planned. It was only when I started to listen did things shift and my life ramped into high gear.

I am aware that many of the things I say and discuss are really ‘out there’. I could choose to tone it down. I could choose to use ambiguous words or speak in a way that absolves my responsibility for what this information imparts, but I am not going to do that.

There are people out there who need to find this information. They need to find it because they are experiencing the same things, and will need the validation that it is happening, and that they are not crazy.

So should you read my stuff, may you enjoy my writing.

Also, feel free to poke fun at it with your friends. 🙂