Month: April 2013

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Depression Series – You’ve done great! So why do you feel so down about it?

The pressure of success

You’ve done well. People love you, and some even hate you (which probably means you’re doing something right.)

So why do you feel so depressed? Why do you have a sense of anxiety and foreboding that something bad is going to happen?

The trouble with success, and more importantly, reputation, is that they are hard to live up to.

People see what you have done, and what you have said. They see how you have reacted, and admired your calmness within the storm.

But now you feel they expect it from you all the time.  You can’t have a bad day because that’s not supposed to be you. If you get angry over something, you get admonished for doing so, in spite of the fact others (especially those telling you off) are doing the exact same thing. The hypocrisy can be frustrating.

Once you’ve set a certain standard, the pressure is on to not only maintain it, but improve it.

But you know that’s just not feasible. Somewhere along the line, you are going to fail, let everyone down and they might decide that you were deceiving them all along.

We you being fake? We you pulling the wool over other’s eyes? Did you go out of your way to deceive anyone?

No.

However, there is much more to you than this one aspect. You are not just a one dimensional Mary Sue type person.

You have your own fears, doubts, bad days and down cycles.

That’s what makes you feel so down and anxious. You don’t feel you can be yourself on those levels, and not have all hell break loose.

Moments of brilliance are sometimes more the exception than the rule, and when you fail to deliver, your followers descend on you like sharks in a feeding frenzy over bloodied meat.

They may accuse you of being lazy, selling out, ripping off those following. They will accuse you of motives that you never in your wildest dreams imagined.

But is it so? In most cases: no.

It’s not possible to be perfect all the time. You can’t give everyone what they want all of the time.

This is a very severe type of depression, because it is insidious, and you won’t even know why you are feeling the way you are, just that you are feeling it.

Taoism states: After great success, retire.

There is great wisdom in those words, though how practical they are to apply is another matter.

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What creates an empath?

A lot of people are empaths, but what makes them one?

Here are some thoughts about that.

 

Some people are born very sensitive to those feelings around them. Others become empaths out of necessity. 

For instance, a child that has a very traumatic childhood will develop the ability to sense others emotions so they can try and avoid dangerous situations.

This could be from the horrors of sexual abuse, or maybe physical abuse. Perhaps you might have a had a victim type parent who would constantly turn to you to unload their problems on.

Perhaps the empath grew up in a dangerous neighbourhood and had to develop a sixth sense in order to avoid trouble.

If the empath has been borne from such situations, then healing tends to be required as such people will find their life an unending living hell.

There are certainly ways to heal these things. I’ve found that the most gentle and effective way is by using Bach Flower Remedies.

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Depression – You just can’t get over it but you certainly can be over it.

Depression is really is a major problem for so many. You don’t have to be an empath to suffer from it, but it certainly doesn’t help you if you are one.

The problem is that unless you have experienced  depression, it’s hard to understand what it’s like.

The other problem is that it’s not a one shoe fits all type thing. There are so many different forms and types of depression that it makes it hard to identify just exactly why you are feeling down, and what to do about it.

Talking is a good start, but unless the person you’re talking to doesn’t make it about themselves, then it may not be very useful.

The hardest part of being depressed is that you’re in a state of flux, where you feel like you don’t want to be here, yet unable to look at the reasons why.

There may be many reasons why that is, but often it comes down to finding out something that you afraid to find out about yourself, or remembering an incident that you can’t bear to face again.

For whatever reason, the pain and isolation is traumatic, and depression actually creates more depression, especially as you start to feel that you are being a burden to others, and you feel bad, or guilty about it.

There is also an odd phenomenon where someone who is depressed will sometimes make things worse by avoiding all forms of help and suggestion.

They go into a poor me / self-pity mode.

Typically this will take the form of:

–          Nobody cares

–          I don’t see what difference that will make.

–          You can’t help me or give me what I need.

–          You can’t understand the pain I’m going through.

–          I want to hurt me, by hurting you, and if possible, push you away so I can feel even more wretched.

So, you may say, well, why doesn’t the depressed person just stop doing this? But it’s not that easy. Once you are on this downward spiral, you almost become seduced into going further and further down, all the while thinking that the world would be better off with you.

So much more to say on this topic, and I will do so, but those who are depressed, take heart. Know that you are not alone. Know that there are those who understand what you are going through, and know that there are things out there that can actually help you without harming you.

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Spirit Guides – Part 4 – I hope Marvel doesn’t sue me. :)

The following blog  is a 8 part series on Spirit Guides, my experiences, and what you might do in order to contact your own. 

Enjoy

Discovering the Dakini – Part 2

Mind travelling is a kind of astral travel. You can’t class it as an out of body experience, though. It’s where you are fully conscious but your mind is viewing things elsewhere. Many people do it, and dismiss it as day dreams, though experience has taught me that it may be anything but.

As mentioned in the last entry, I felt a very strong compulsion to be somewhere, so I followed it.

I found myself in what you might term an astral level. For some reason, I wasn’t happy, and I began to shake these astral corridors and filled them with light. Those corridors are like sub areas in the planes where entities can hide from view but are still able to observe. Somehow, I was able to shake them out and into view and I recall many entities running for cover.

I then felt myself darting about the place at an extremely fast pace, as though I was avoiding something. Suddenly I came across the giant lizard again. However, something about it looked odd. It was just standing there. It did not react to my presence in any way. It was as though it was waiting for something.

Next to it was this machine which was producing small dark bubbles. I had come across these machines before in my mind journeys, and I felt that the purpose was to produce certain types of energy, maybe for attacks or to corrupt auras.

I then heard a voice instructing me to destroy the machine. As I felt that whatever it was, it wasn’t a good thing to have around I decided to do just that.

Then the same voice urged me to destroy the lizard. However, I didn’t make a move. Destroying anything sentient was against who I was. Even though people had, in the past,  urged me to destroy evil or dark beings, I found I just couldn’t do it.

It was then that I noticed the lizard didn’t seem real. I took a closer look and found it wasn’t. It was clearly a decoy.  Then the real one appeared behind me.

In retrospect, I figured there were two scenarios here. If I had attacked the decoy I would  have been ambushed. I also would have left myself wide open to the lizard’s energies as engaging in battle would have attuned me to those energies, leaving me vulnerable. (This is certainly the subject of another topic.)

The other was that it saw I wasn’t going to attack, so it felt it was safe to attack me as I probably wouldn’t defend myself or maybe I might not even be able to do so.

Either way, before it had a chance to do anything, I suddenly was surrounded by these tall beings. I looked at their faces and found they were hard to describe: Intense, severe, warrior like.  The right words don’t really come to me to explain it.

The word ‘Dakini’ flashed in my mind, and I watched as they surrounded the lizard, quickly neutralized it and then carried it away.

If I expected them to introduce themselves or make themselves known to me, I would have been disappointed. They acted as though meeting me was an everyday occurrence that was nothing special. I felt like I was just someone who they were very used to and hardly worth the acknowledgement. I found that very odd and interesting. The most I got was a glance and nod, like walking past a work colleague you see a dozen times a day and that was it.

The guiding voice in my mind told me later that they had been waiting for me to draw the lizard out so it could be taken away.

As a side note, curiously enough, I never heard again from the lady I had been chatting to after this event I don’t know if there was any connection between the two things, but it always felt like there was.

Over the next two or so days, I mulled over this incident, I felt there was to be more to this than met the eye.  I felt I was missing something here.

I also discussed it with my online friend, who said that she had had the Dakini turn up for her the week before.

Since I discovered that I could trace energies, I also had discovered that, I was able to trace them retrospectively, and thus identify many beings and the essence of people I had come across in my life, even if it was many years ago.

It took me a day or so, but it dawned on me that the guides who had been talking to me all my life, guiding me, protecting me, telling me who I was, and giving me so many other messages, had the same energy of the Dakini.

This was quite a mind blowing revelation to me. While this seemed to be one of those things where I wasn’t sure if it was suggestion on the part of people and the book or if it was real, it certainly felt right.

Next: Validation

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Spirit Guides – Part 3 – Dakini: Even I had trouble with accepting this one.

The following blog  is a 8 part series on Spirit Guides, my experiences, and what you might do in order to contact your own. 

Enjoy

Still with me? Many of my experiences are bizarre, and this one is no exception.

 

Discovering the Dakini – Part 1

As I mentioned, it took me a very long time before I accepted I even had guides, but it took even longer before I worked out who some of them were.

My guides give me the same messages over and over, sometimes for years and years and they don’t stop until I finally understand the meaning behind them. Trust me when I say, it’s a very tedious process.

For the longest time, I would get the messages:  Do you know who we are? and You still don’t know who we are. over and over in my thoughts for many years until I finally discovered the answer.

It started off, curiously enough, in 1999 with the third book in the Celestine Prophecy – The Secret of Shambhala by James Redfield.

The book landed on my desk the day it came out. My mother had gotten a call from the bookshop that I had ordered it and bought it for me.

This novel, arguably James Redfield’s best book so far, was about the search for the 11th insight and the tale of the search of the mythical Shambhala and the Dakini angels that inhabited the area.  While it was an interesting book, there wasn’t all that much that commanded my attention, though I found all the concepts to be intriguing.

After that, I found a chat room on the web site, got involved with the community there, and made countless connections until the room shut down.

About 2006, I was chatting and discussing the books with a friend I had met in the chat room, when she mentioned that James was mad to be messing with the Dakini as they were known, to her knowledge, to be beings you just didn’t mess around with.

As my knowledge about them was zero,  I couldn’t make any comments, though I had to admit that her observations felt right.

I instinctively felt that they weren’t being I would want to tangle with personally.

Thanks for some major events a couple of years before, I had awakened some, and became aware that I was able to trace energies with relative ease.

I can’t really explain how it’s done. The best that I can explain is that once I know what a certain type of energy feels like, I can locate a match for it with my mind. This helps me to identify who certain people are in my life and my past life connections.

I decided to reach out and feel if there were any Dakini present. I wasn’t expecting to feel any, but I got the distinct impression that there were. How I knew what to look for, I also can’t explain. Somehow I just knew.

The impression I got was they hidden and watching me. I also got a strong feeling that I shouldn’t probe any further, so I let it go.

Over the next few months, I would check every so often, and they were always there, though I still felt that I shouldn’t probe.

At the time, I was talking to another lady who I was trying to help recover from psychic attacks, though she seemed fatalistically resigned to leaving this world. She was quite an intelligent and nice person, but claimed that people would always stop talking to her for no reason.

From my own experience, it was more the other way around. She would stop talking to them or leave the online group she was in.

In an attempt to find out if she was under attack, I  used my mind to travel in the astral levels to see if she was being attack and what the source might be. What I found was this large armoured lizard that was standing upright. I didn’t hang around, though once I had seen it. I just left.

As I tend to hate clichés seeing a lizard was not something I wanted to see. I’m not a fan of conspiracy theories, and certainly those that abound about shape changing lizards just annoy me greatly. So seeing this vision was something I decided to ignore.

Then one night, around three months after my discussion with my friend on the Dakini, I found myself travelling in my mind through the astral. I tend to do this a lot. It was something that came naturally to me for as long as I can remember. It’s fair to say it’s much less frequent nowadays, though sometimes I will get a strong pull to do so.

That night, I was about to go to sleep when I felt the strong compulsion to do it.

Next: Discovering the Dakini part 2

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Spirit Guides – Part 2 – All singing, all dancing…

The following blog  is a 8 part series on on Spirit Guides, my experiences, and what you might do in order to contact your own. 

Enjoy

 It’s become clear to me that I’ve already had guides and even early memories fit into what I experiences later.

For instance, from the age of thirteen, I’ve always seen my guides dancing around me.  In later years  when I mentioned them to friends, they claim that they seem them dancing around them, too.  When I did some research a few year back, I found that one interpretation of their name is ‘sky dancer’. As I had not mentioned dancing at all, I know it wasn’t a thought I planted in others.

Is it just pure coincidence that we see the same thing? From what I understand, guides aren’t generally associated with dancing, so there wouldn’t be any logical leap to see them as such.

When I’ve sent my guides to help others I have been amazed by the stories that were told to me.

While I’ve always had guides, I just didn’t acknowledge it until around 1995. I was quite stuck on the belief that I wasn’t worthy of them.

I can identify them by feeling and their energies, but giving them names is another matter. I don’t think you can really produce a meaningful name that truly reflects them, as they are more vibrational in nature, meaning that they are more a feeling than a word.

It always me scratch my head when people say their guides names are ‘Tom’ or ‘Fred’ or something equally banal. Maybe that’s true, but I think it’s more a convenience sake, so others can easily refer to them.

I know, that at least for one of my guides, I use the name is he commonly known by, though I doubt that’s his real one.

I appear to have several guides; some who seem to also serve as protectors. My partner calls them my Mafia guides, and it’s certainly is my experience that they don’t have a sense of humour about me being attacked without provocation. It is also true that their reputations, in cultures, are not as fluffy, fuzzy beings.

So far, I’ve identified the names of two of my guides. The first, I won’t yet mention, as I consider it to be controversial and the other I will discuss in my next blog.

Next: Discovering the Dakini Part 1.