Tag: guilt

Empaths and depression – Guilt.

Checklist.

        Do you feel anxiety that makes you want to hide away?
        Do you feel you let others down?
        Do you feel an emotional pain that borders on anxiety that just won’t let up, but     there is no defined cause.
        You feel suicidal. 

I call guilt the great destroyer. It literally brings your life to a halt. It makes you feel suicidal, and you can barely function as a normal person.

The worst thing about guilt is the painful feelings of anxiety that  you can’t seem to shake.
You can feel something is wrong, that something is bad, but you aren’t sure what it is.

This is normally due to some action you have taken, and how another person appears to have reacted badly to it.

It does not matter if the action was done with the best of intentions, you still feel terrible that you might have made someone feel uncomfortable or made them feel embarrassed or awkward.

Or  perhaps it might be due to something  where you feel that you can’t rest or relax until others do. For instance, if you’ve done all your work, and others haven’t, you may feel bad because they are working, and you are not, even though you have done what you should have done.. and sometimes more.

The tricky part of guilt is that you feel guilty, and you may not even know it. All you can feel is this deep seated feeling of depression and anxiety, and no way to end it.

It can bring your life to stand still as every action becomes an effort, and all your energies go to just trying to function.

Guilt, as a cause, for depression, is often overlooked, because it’s not what we are expecting feeling guilty to be like.

Indeed, the general perception of guilt is that you feel somewhat bad about doing something, but hey, that’s life, right? It tends to be trivialized.

But what is guilt? One view is that it’s the feeling that you are to blame for something that has happened or is happening.

It’s a feeling of self-blame for a situation we may have somehow contributed to that could hurt others, or make them feel uncomfortable in some manner. That might be their perceived disappointment in us, or some other thing or event. Perhaps you have made a recommendation to someone and found that it didn’t work for them, so you feel bad about it.

It can also be the belief that we are not living up to others expectations. Somehow, their disappointment in our efforts means that we are responsible for how they feel.

This is a major problem. Way too many have suicided over such feelings.

It also appears that the greater your success, the more likely you are to suffer from depression brought on by guilt., as you feel the pressure mounting for you to not only to continue to perform, but to not let others down. Sad fact of this world is that we love our heroes, but bury them alive if we feel they disappoint us.

Many turn to drugs and alcohol to try and cope with such emotional pressure, though it actually doesn’t do much to help in the end.

But it is not our responsibility to make others feel better. It is not our responsibility to let others live their lives through us. All we can do is our best, and that is all we are meant to do.

This type of pressure happens for so many teenagers who feel they must do well at school, at sports, or whatever someone else is making them do.

They are not doing it for their own reasons. They are doing it for others, and because of that, when we can’t live up to expectations, we feel we have failed everyone, including ourselves.

We never really fail, though. Not as long as we keep on trying. And the simple fact is that we may not be all that good at some of the things we are asked to do.

And oddly enough, we feel guilty because others aren’t happy with what we’ve done, but ironically, those who have expectations never seem to feel guilty in turn about putting such pressures on us.

But this is your life. These are your choices. Make them to reflect who you are, and not what others think you should be. Those people are just living through you as an extension of themselves, and not seeing you as an individual who has their own needs and desires.

Guilt generally isn’t a productive emotion. Some might say it stops you from doing the wrong things, but do we really need something like guilt for us to do what we consider to be right?

From a holistic point of view, as long as you’ve acted with the highest intentions, then you have no reason to feel guilty. You can’t control how others feel and how they react. Furthermore, it’s not our responsibility to do so.

We play our part in their lives, and they do the same for us. It’s all agreed to at a higher level, where we know exactly what is going on, and there are no surprises. Indeed, spirit is always fully aware of all that happens, which is why nothing is ever random.

This is why life unfolds in the way it does, and when you look back, you can see what seems like an amazing, but contrived story. (Of course, if you choose a random life, then there is chaos in the order, but that’s still a choice.)

From this perspective, you might say that any part you play in another person’s life was agreed to, and part of their own soul plan.

Remember, we cannot control how others feel or react. All we can do is act with the best intention.

If you are suffering from depression, anxiety and a complete drain of energy, consider looking to see if guilt is the cause. This is easier said than done because often we won’t let our mind look at what we might find… or fear to find. And yet, most of the time, it’s never as bad as it seems.

Bach Flower Remedy:
Pine.