Tag: Fear

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Do not fear the darkness… thank it instead.

light and darkThere’s a parable by Neale Donald Walsch called The Little Soul and the Sun. There are two parts to this tale. In a nutshell, the story is about a soul who wanted to know who he was., but because all there was, was light, and all he was, was light, he could not do this.
It begins:

There once was a soul who knew itself to be the light. This was a new soul, and so, anxious for experience. “I am the light,” it said. “I am the light.” Yet all the knowing of it and all the saying of it could not substitute for the experience of it. And in the realm from which this soul emerged, there was nothing but the light. Every soul was grand, every soul was magnificent, and every soul shone with the brilliance of God’s awesome light. And so the little soul in question was as a candle in the sun. In the midst of the grandest light — of which it was a part — it could not see itself, nor experience itself as Who and What it Really Is.

And then goes on to explain that in order for the soul to know itself, it must separate itself from all that is and call upon the darkness so it may know its own light and experience who he or she really is.

But in order for that soul aspect to know itself as light, someone had to play the part of being the darkness.

In this story, the soul wished to experience forgiveness, but as there was no one to forgive; someone had to play that part.

Another soul offered: “I will come into your next physical lifetime and do something for you to forgive. I ask only one thing in return,”

“Anything! Anything!” the Little Soul cried.

“In the moment that I strike you and smite you, in the moment that I do the worst to you that you could ever imagine – in that self-same moment…remember Who I Really Am.”

“Oh, I won’t forget!” promised the Little Soul. “I will see you in the perfection with which I hold you now, and I will remember Who You Are, always.”

This story illustrates perfectly why we have darkness. Why there are demons, and why people attack and hurt us.

And while many people do indeed seem to understand that all we do is because we have created it on some level, and that is our free will in action, they seem to forget the very thing they need to remember.

The ones who are dark are dark because without them, we could not experience our own light.

Far too often, I see people condemning demons, so called evil, people who have wronged them and cursing them to Hell (or whatever place they feel is punishing enough. )

Far too often people insist that there is no help for those being and they are not worthy or their time, their healing, or even their love or blessings.

But is this really what we should be doing? So called negative beings don’t remember who they really are. Perhaps they have chosen a part where, by necessity, they cannot have any connection to the light. No matter what is done, they will always be of the dark because that is what is required. And they will remain so until they eventually return, with the rest, to source.

People seem to take great pride in condemning that which they consider to be dark. They simply love to hate and detest anything that doesn’t meet their own personal standards.

But condemning the dark is as useless as condemning the night. Everything is there for a reason. It wouldn’t exist otherwise.

I can’t help but wonder how horrible it would be to be hated by everyone, attacked and detested just for being.

Personally, I feel we should bless the darkness. Thank them for their gift and even their sacrifice. Those who have even experienced a little of what it’s like to not have light in your life should understand what it is like to be like them.

They may not remember who they are. They may never be able to in this realm, but that doesn’t mean we should forget, either.

And while you may not agree or condone their actions, always come from a place of love, rather than hate or fear.

Someone has to play the bad guy. Perhaps one day it may be you.

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Empath Series – Bach flower remedy: Mimulus or some spiders just aren’t that cuddly.

MimulusIn the year 2001, I was taking a break from work. I got up to play a game on my computer, and as it was at night, I decided to not turn on the lights, so I wouldn’t disturb anyone.

As it was late, I was in my dressing gown and apart from the glow of the monitor, there was no other light source.

Sometime into the session, there was brief feather like sensation on my hand, and then it was gone. I thought nothing more of it.

About an hour later, I decided to take a bathroom break, and went upstairs.

I looked into the vanity mirror and saw, to my horror, that on my dressing gown shoulder was this huge Huntsman Spider.

Now, in Australia, these spiders grow very big. While they do have a nasty bite, and look frightening, they aren’t actually lethal.

This, however, did not stop me from giving a scream at the top of my lungs (which no one heard!) and ripping off my dressing gown, and throwing it on the floor.

Huntsman can be aggressive, and this one clearly decided it didn’t like me as , instead of scampering toward safety, it actually advanced towards me.

I’m not a fan of killing anything, and generally will let even flies live, but that night, it felt like it was me versus the large menacing spider, and one heavy object later, it was Me: 1. Huntsman: 0.

Now, as you may expect, this was quiet an unnerving experience and probably most people who don’t enjoy the company of spiders would hesitate to use the computer area again.

Fortunately for me, the Bach Flower Remedy: Mimulus, is the remedy for known fears. I immediately took some, and felt my fear settle, and it didn’t take me long to get over this incident. In fact, I was back at my computer the next morning without a second thought.

I have come across other Huntsman since that time. In fact in my previous house, on a very hot summer’s night, one bolted across the front door as I was opening it.

I just shrugged and went inside.

Mimulus is an amazing remedy for known fears.

If you have a fear of spiders, and let’s face it, so many do, you may find this remedy will not only help you cope, but shift your perspective on them.

It’s certainly worth trying for the arachnophobic type person.

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Intuition series: How to use intuition or should I head north to go south?

confusedI don’t know what it’s like for others, so I can only draw on my own personal experiences here. For me, I find when I’m thinking about a certain course of action, or am doing something; my stomach (in the solar plexus chakra area) will either feel distressed as though something is churning within me. (It’s a feeling resembling fear, even if no emotion is attached.) Or I will feel a sense of joy, connectedness, truth or love.

When it’s the former, it means that actions or situation will not suit my purposes. The stronger the feeling, the less I should do something. When it’s the latter, it means I should follow the actions or situation, no matter how unlikely or insane it might seem at the time.

The thing with your decisions is that other people will try and talk you out of it if they think you are wrong. They will tell you that you’re making a mistake, or that you’ll regret a course of action.

Or if you know something bad will happen, they will try and convince you that you’re being paranoid or negative, or that you’re a wet blanket.

Many tend to accept the advice of others, in spite of what they may feel.

This is a mistake.

Intuition is a sign that you’re  connected to your feelings. It’s like saying I wish to head north, but we’re heading east right now and we’ll never reach our goal.

Being told you are being negative might convince you that you should be continuing east, rather than listening to their internal guidance.

Remember, people give advice based generally on what they want, and not what you want.

If things were that obvious, we wouldn’t need our intuition, but they rarely are. When we call forth events in our life, we are also given directions, but those directions might seem wrong because they are pointing you in a different path. That’s when people ignore them and go in the direction they think they should go, or what logic dictates. In the end, often things just don’t work out quite as expected.

As an example, supposing you are at a train station and you need to get to your destination as soon as possible. The train arrives. Your first inclination is to board it, and logic tells you to, but something holds you back. It may be a feeling that something is wrong, or a sudden anxiety. It could even be a resistance in your movement. Perhaps you might even start to stress or panic.

What you need to take notice of is if it feels right to board that train? You listen to your feelings and you decide not to board it.

Five minutes later, another train comes. This one happens to be an express train, and will get you there 10 minutes sooner. You didn’t have that information, but your intuition did.

There are also those times when it’s not  easy to tell what of intuition is telling you.

This is because fear can cause interference.

For example, supposing your  child is home late, the fear of something terrible having happened to them will kick in and often override your intuitive feelings that all is well. (In which case, I’d recommend the Bach Flower Remedy, Mimulus, for known fears.)

Fear can cause a lot of grief and when you love and care for someone, it can really be hard to overcome  and be impartial.

(The Bach Flower Remedies Red Chestnut and Mimulus can really help here.)

Next:  How come feelings change?

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Depression series – Empaths and concern for others or Why didn’t you call?

Over-concern for others.

Check-list

  • You worry about others
  • You feel bad about when others try and fail.
  • We feel anxiety when others don’t come home when expected. 

Empaths often get depressed in regards to other people. 

It might be for the person who has gone to buy a special present for someone, only to have gotten it very wrong, due to lack of knowledge. You may feel bad for them because you feel all the effort they put into it has gone to waste.  You wish things had worked out for them with all that work, and it makes you feel, sad, bad and terribly depressed.

Perhaps you might be worried about a friend or a loved one in regards to how life is going for them, or if they are doing well or not.

If we fear something is wrong with them, we, ourselves, may feel anxious, and will not be able to rest until we are reassured that all is well. We tend to experience that awful sinking feeling of anxiety in the pit of our stomach until we hear some news that reassures us.

This is especially true for empaths with children who are out late or their partner has not returned at the normal time. We immediately imagine the worst and fear that something terrible has happened.

It’s hard to disassociate ourselves from the fear to check on your feelings, as we are too attached to the outcome, and that colours what we are feeling.

Intuition works well, but if it’s tainted by our fears, it can make us feel things which aren’t true. It’s hard to step back and be objective in these kind of situations as we tend to have too much of our own selves invested in our relationships.

For some empaths, they often don’t feel good unless others are feeling good. If they are having a rough time, we will put our own happiness on hold until they are doing better.

This is not healthy as it not only hurt you, but actually makes things worse for those you are concerned about. Not only do they have to deal with their own problems, but they also have to take you into account, putting pressure on them.

I know, from personal experience, that I can’t have a bad day without everyone around me going into melt down over it. It drives me crazy. Sometimes I just want to work through things, and not have to go into damage control because of it. Sometimes I just want to have a bad day and work through my feelings.

People have bad days. People need bad days. They need those times to let out their frustration. Or maybe they just aren’t feeling well. It doesn’t really matter what the reason is, it’s important to give them space to be, and show that they are supported, without making it into something it isn’t.

Of course, being empaths, we can’t help but care.

I would suggest that the key to dealing with this is to understand that the other person does know exactly what they are doing on a soul level. Everything is as it should be; even those really crappy events that seem to crop up in one’s life. If you can know and accept this, and know it in your heart, then you can let go of the fear, and understand that they are living their life as needed.

Bach Flower Remedy: 

Red Chestnut.