Should we charge for our services or does that devalue them? (part 1)

Example 1. Optical feedback

I started this off as a musing on if we should charge for our services, but found it became a little more personal as I explored options.

I offer it here to others who face the same dilemmas and welcome any thoughts and suggestions on this subject. 

People have strongly suggested that I should start charging for my time and maybe that’s what it will come down to in the end, because what I find is that most either seem to not value what I do, or they will feel that they can’t come back to me because they feel too embarrassed and awkward.

However, I find that this is a controversial subject because, on one hand, there are plenty of scammers out there who are quite happy to fleece people out of their hard-earned cash in exchange for generic information that could apply to anyone and on the other hand, if you do provide a service, some kind of exchange needs to take place.

I’ve been helping people since 1986 and so far, I’ve not charged for my services, help and advice I’ve provided, and normally, I will send people what they need at my own expense. (Generally, those will be Bach Flower Remedies. It’s a shame I don’t get commission for recommending and buying them!)

I find that, in spite of the thousands of bottles of remedies and rescue cream that I’ve sent out since 1995, there is something unsatisfying about it overall. In the end, it leaves you feeling flat.

Over the years, I’ve made the following observations.

Even though people ask for help, they will not actually use what I send them.

They will generally either:

  • Not take the remedies at all.
  • I never actually hear from them again, or get any feedback on if they actually helped or not.Ignore my advice on how they should be taken and only take them once or twice a day. (When in fact, they should be taken at least four times a day when starting out, and every few minutes when things are at a critical point.)

On the last point, I’ve actually had a couple of people tell me that they drank the entire bottle in one go when they reached a crisis point (and also claim it saved their lives!) It’s waste, though, as they are meant to last years.

I even had one person tell me, after I send the remedies, that she didn’t trust anything sent from people she did not know. She could have saved me fifty dollars if she had told me before hand.

When I do get feedback, however, it is mostly positive.

As I’m always learning about what to do, every success and every failure helps me for the next person.

For example, I’ve only recently discovered that the Bach Flower Remedy Mustard is excellent for dealing with negative energy attacks. Some people I’ve helped would have benefited from it if I had known that at the time. However, as it was not sent, they did not get the remedy they needed.

Now, there are a few who do follow my instructions and provide feedback, and generally, it is of a very positive nature. They also keep in contact from time to time, even if it’s just to say hello.

Those people tend to be the most renewing for me, as even their best wishes and friendship goes a long, long way.

I also get the odd person who will write me essay after essay and essentially give me their life’s story. Then they stop, only to return a few months later asking for more help (also in a very long e-mail.)

I find those tend to be the biggest drain on me.

I have come to the point where I feel I can no longer keep up this type of one way energy exchange.

So, I’ve got two options. Either I stop doing this altogether or I start to charge in some way.

Next: Looking at options.

Empath Series – Bach flower remedy: More on Elm or what else does it do?

English elm tree, Ulmus procera, at the Morton...

I thought I’d continue on with the remedy Elm today.

There are many levels to each remedy, and Elm certainly is no exception.

If anyone has any requests on what remedy can help what, let me know and I’ll feature it sooner than later.

The Symptoms of an Elm type:

  • Temporarily loss of confidence in doing a job one is capable of.
  • Despondency.
  • Feels overwhelmed by too many tasks.
  • Exhaustion
  • A sense of panic that there is too much to do.
  • Self-esteem may be affected.

The Elm type is one who is very capable of doing a job, and doing it well. They have tenacity, endurance, and intelligence.

Sometimes they stress because they suddenly feel they cannot accomplish the task set before them.

This can be due to too much pressure, or exhaustion. 

Often an Elm type can be heard to say ‘I don’t know how I’m going to get this done.’, however, they always manage to get it done in the end, and breathe a sigh of relief… until the next time, which is often the next day.

Parents who are trying to look after their children often feel exhausted, and as there is no foreseeable solution (as you can’t exactly shut your children out, nor would you really want to) it’s a daily battle.

Also, there is the carer who looks after their sick relatives, and has no time for their own lives. So much to do, and so little time to get it done in.

Elm can be a great help in these type of circumstances. 

This remedy is especially useful when you have too many tasks coming in and too many interruptions.

The empath has another level to consider. That is being overwhelmed by many feelings at the same time. This may happen in crowds or parties or even world events such as elections, disasters or incidences where emotions run high. It’s made even worse when you have several friends who are all going through a bad time.

One of the traits of an empath is that they can’t handle being at parties, in a mall or at a large festival or celebration, such as new year’s eve, where alcohol and energies fly about like there’s no tomorrow.

Elm is the remedy that helps you cope with all waves of things that threaten to overwhelm you. Taking Elm will help you cope with the stress and the feeling of panic and the belief that you can’t cope. It will aid you in calming and centring your emotions and thoughts and get through the busy times where too much is really going on.

Empath Series – Bach flower remedy: Elm – The remedy for being overwhelmed or I dropped the eggs.

elmOne of the complaints from Empaths that I hear a lot is that they often feel overwhelmed by too many feelings and emotions.

So much so, it drives them nuts. It is a very real problem, and causes all kinds of issues, including psychic burnout.

You might liken it to one of those old egg catching games from the early 1980s. Eggs would come from four different directions, and you would catch them. Over the course of the game, they would get faster and faster. Let three eggs fall and it was game over.

Depending on your skill and stamina, you could last a long time but eventually fatigue would kick in, and you’d drop the eggs, normally in rapid succession.

To take it a step further, it also can be likened to doing too many jobs at work when you’re short staffed, or understaffed. Unless you are amazingly skilled, you will eventually hit a point where you suddenly no longer are coping, and just going through the motions.

Mistakes happen and you collapse into a heap, exhausted and sick.

230px-MickeyMouse

This is what it can be like for the Empath on a daily basis. They are hit by too many energies all at once and they go into a toxic, psychic overload where it literally hurts to even think.

To make matters worse, the people around them tend to get angry that their demands aren’t being met, and put additional pressure on the Empath. If there is any protest, they will ask to ignore everyone… but themselves.

Psychic burnout can and often does lead to long term illnesses and mental breakdowns.

Fortunately for the Empath, the Bach Flower Remedy, Elm, will help with those feelings of too much, too soon, too overwhelming.

When taking it, the sense of panic and exhaustion lifts, and a sense of calm and organization tends to take its place.

Elm is a remedy worth keeping in the Empath’s first aid kit. It also works well with Oak (when someone is pushed past their limits) and Olive (long and short term exhaustion.)

It’s saved my bacon on a number of occasions!

Empath Series – Psychic attacks – Serendipity or cutting the mustard.

BFR MustardAs I’ve mentioned, I’ve spent much of my life under attack. There have been various reasons, which I won’t get into here, but most I have overcome, especially once I’ve tracked the source.

But for whatever reason, I’ve been under pretty strong attacks from 2009 to 2013.

My internet circle has a good deal of psychic people in it, and I’ve a couple who are dedicated to keeping me safe and as it goes, they do an excellent job of it.

However, for the first four months in 2013, the attacks had grown stronger and my exhaustion was to the point where I knew something had to shift if I was going to continue.

Whenever I’m under such attacks, my partner feels it, and she will give me the space to deal with it. Also, the more I am affected, the more of a headache she gets. I’m grateful I have someone in my life that not only understands and accepts me, but knows what to do in order to help and guide me.

As usual, when I’m feeling depression, I take the Bach Flower Remedies, and use the ones that I feel will bring some relief.

They do help, but unless you hit the cause of the feelings, the relief is only temporary.  (which is one the main reasons I say they are not a placebo.)

I’m pretty excellent with the remedies, and I can tell you which remedy does what, but there has always been a couple that eluded me on what they did exactly.  So I never took them.

The problem with the remedies is that while they are amazing, and do work, not everything is known about them, and I believe that many of the discoveries I’ve made in regards to them were made first by me.

Mustard happens to be one of those remedies that I really never understood. Its official use is for deep gloom of unknown origins. However, several remedies also deal with such things. My guide did mention it was to protect against areas of negative energies, but I never looked into it much further than that.

In April 2013, I had finally reached the point where I was fed up with feeling drained, depressed and full of doubt.

I decided to pick up Mimulus (for known fears) when I accidentally picked up Mustard instead. (They are next to each other.)

As I picked it up, I thought: Well why not?

I took two drops directly on my tongue, and felt an immediate lightening of my moods and fatigue. The remedy also tingled like crazy. (The more you need the remedy, the more it will tingle.)

I walked up to my partner and asked her if she sensed any change in me. She said she felt a lightening of her headache.

I took some more and noticed something shift in my body. It was as though some seed or hook was removed (which may have been a hitch-hiker). A minute later, my partner said the headache was gone.

As mentioned, Mustard is said to be the remedy for gloom. I’ve looked it up, but there is not much that elaborates on that.

I feel pretty safe in saying that Mustard is the remedy to stop psychic attacks and coupled with Walnut (the link breaker), it is quite potent.

My exhaustion lifted that night, and has not returned. I’ve felt confident, strong and full of light.

I also feel pretty safe in saying that this is a really important discovery for Empaths as they are very vulnerable to such attacks, especially those who class themselves as Light-workers.

Next: Other ways to protect yourself.