Tag: Empathy

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Depression Series – Anti-depressants or how depressing, they’re screwing me up.

Anneli Rufus

Anti-depressants

It’s fortunate that depression is finally recognized as a real problem.

There are help lines out there, organizations (Where I live, there is one called Beyond Blue, which is a wonderful initiative) and they are developing drugs to help us cope.

Medical treatment is still in the early stages, though, in my opinion, but at least they are doing something.

That being said, I have tried anti-depressants. I was going through a terrible time, and my partner at the time suggested I see a doctor. He prescribed them to me. I tried several types, but found they did not work for me.

What I found was that it seemed to cut me off from my empathy, and I felt like I was walking around in a vacuum. I also found that it has a negative effect on my moods and certainly didn’t like my body. It was a very unpleasant experience.

I know that anti-depressants certainly help people, but I suspect that many empaths are not doing themselves any favours by taking them.

They mask the symptoms, not heal the causes.

If you are on anti-depressants, do not go off them without medical advice. It can harm you.

As mentioned, I believe that the Bach Flower Remedies would help many with dealing with depression. Personally, I know I’d be a basket case many times over without them. For those who are interested, I will start blogging about them, and all the ways they can be used to help heal depression soon.

The remedies do work well with any other type of treatment, and this is because they don’t work on a physical level, so they are not like homeopaths, drugs, aromatherapy, and the like, each of which has their own particular set of dangers.

That being said, if you wish to try the Bach Flower Remedies, it’s important to note that they are preserved in alcohol. While the remedy itself is completely safe to take, and does not work on a physical level, some people cannot tolerate alcohol.

There are some solutions to this:

You can dilute the remedies into a dropper bottle of water, and then put 4 drops into a glass of water. The alcoholic content is said to be too small to measure.

You can rub the remedies on your wrist or temples or other pressure points. That does seem to work. My partner responds amazingly well, and she’s sensitive to alcohol.

You can try making your own remedies. There are books on that subject.

I understand that the Bach Centre is making non-alcoholic versions of the remedies. Most certainly they have put out Rescue Remedy in different forms now.

If anti-depressants are working for you, then this is a good thing. I just have spoken to too many for whom they do not work for, and they are in an even bigger mess.

Whatever you do, make sure you know exactly what you are doing. Find out as much about them as you can. This is your body and your quality of life you are dealing with.

Depression is an epidemic and not understood enough yet. But it can be cured. I’m living proof of that. (And others I’ve treated, too.)

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Being ridiculed is a small price to pay for helping even one other.

As an Empath, I’ve come across a lot of strange things that I would have sworn could not be true. As a sceptic, I tend to not take things on face value. As a cynic, I tend to look between the lines. As an intuitive, I have learned to trust my feelings completely.

Logic, as much sense as it makes, never produced the results I desired. Trusting my intuition has. It has taken me places that I thought I would never go. Do and see things that I would not have done otherwise, and produced a life that is extraordinary that defies logic, and what logic would certainly defy happening.

I wonder, though, from time to time, how the other people in my life perceive me.

On one hand, I am constantly surprised by how people accept my experiences and the information I share with them.

On the other hand, there are always those who feel I’m either trying to start a cult (yeah, that’s where the money would be and I could quit this office job!) or am pretending to be something I am not.

I, myself, inwardly groan, thinking, here I go again on a certain subject, such as being an empath, type of depression and how to cure them, or Bach Flower Remedies, which I wish I had as stake in, cause I’m sure I’ve raised their sales by 1000’s of bottles.

The challenge of being yourself, in spite of the fear, is one that so many face.

It’s not easy. Anyone who has tried it knows this. The fear of public ridicule, rejection or even finding out that everything you ever thought was wrong are always at the back of your mind. (And God knows, everything I ever believed in has been shaken to the foundation a few times in my life, though, my current experiences and belief system are working as they should.)

So why do it?

Because it has to be done. If one person finds the courage to be themselves. Tell their own story, no matter how improbable or impossible it might seem, and that one person goes on to inspire others to do the same, then it is worth it.

I put myself out there so others can.

I hope it inspires those who are holding back to do so, too.

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Empath series – Spirits, ghosts, negative entities and all those fun things that can’t possibly exist.

Psychics and the spirit world.

Here’s the problem with empaths and other sensitive people: They see and sense and even hear things that others generally do not.

Scientifically, such things are hard to prove, if not impossible, as what we experience cannot always be recreated and tested under lab conditions.

I was listening to an old podcast the other day, and it was said that there are no haunted houses, only haunted people.

I thought about this and I think that’s a fairly accurate statement because sensitive people are the ones who will pick up on areas that have a higher amount of activity occurring. Someone who is not able to pick up such things will experience nothing noticeable happening, though that doesn’t mean they are not being affected. I’m sure there are plenty of sceptics who have suffered depression from unknown causes and the draining of their energies.

There are certainly those who love to mock those who do sense and see spirits and that’s okay. We need perspective. We need to not fall into the trap where we read every little sign as something paranormal, even when it may not be, and can be proven as such.

Still, I wonder just how many of these sceptics have put themselves into places where such activity is high?

I only muse on this subject because psychics, empaths, and sensitive people can, and do see things that do exist on other levels.  They may not have the ability to interpret the information correctly, after all, it is just another sense and not even our normal five senses will always be correct. Just ask someone who is colour blind if that’s not true.

As scary as it is for some, entities, spirits, beings, elemental energies do exist.  The normal person in the street may not see them, but that doesn’t mean they are not there.

Those who can detect them will be under no doubt that what they see is real to them, even if they do believe they are, perhaps, crazy.

I don’t believe they are, though. Everything exists on some level and some people are just more adapt, and attuned, at seeing them.

For those following this blog, I need to make it clear that I believe that these things do exist, and the reason why is because there will be blogs which will cover these things which will be important for empaths, especially those who are suffering from depression.

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What creates an empath?

A lot of people are empaths, but what makes them one?

Here are some thoughts about that.

 

Some people are born very sensitive to those feelings around them. Others become empaths out of necessity. 

For instance, a child that has a very traumatic childhood will develop the ability to sense others emotions so they can try and avoid dangerous situations.

This could be from the horrors of sexual abuse, or maybe physical abuse. Perhaps you might have a had a victim type parent who would constantly turn to you to unload their problems on.

Perhaps the empath grew up in a dangerous neighbourhood and had to develop a sixth sense in order to avoid trouble.

If the empath has been borne from such situations, then healing tends to be required as such people will find their life an unending living hell.

There are certainly ways to heal these things. I’ve found that the most gentle and effective way is by using Bach Flower Remedies.

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The signs of being an empath

This list is what many people may experience if they are highly emphatic. You may not experience them all, but some do. This list is not inclusive.

  • You may be very sensitive to noises. They may not be loud, but they feel like they go right through you.

 

  • You are sensitive to harsh lights, strong smells. The energy of these things can actually induce a state where you are experiencing strong feelings triggered by them.

 

  • It’s a real trial being at places such as parties, nightclubs where there are so many people that you can barely move, and the noise is so loud that you try to leave your body until it’s all over and you get to leave. An empath will often try and leave such places as soon as it’s politely possible. They cannot understand how people can go to these places night after night, or even how they could be enjoying themselves.

 

  • You may also hate crowded places such as shopping plazas, train stations or just too many people in the same room. Normally it’s a place where there is chaotic energy, and the people around you are stressed and just want to get what they are there to do over and done with.

 

  • You may experience periods of anxiety for no apparent reason. No matter what you do, you can’t seem to let it go, or get over it, and you have no idea why.

 

  • You are clinically depressed, or feel depressed for no apparent reason. Once again, no matter what you try, you just can’t ‘get over it’.

 

  • You carry a lot of guilt, even if it’s for another’s action or for something you have done that has been received in a way you did not expect or desire.

 

  • You feel over sensitive to whether people want to be around you or not. Indeed, if you sense that you are not welcome somewhere or by someone, you will hastily make the quickest retreat you can or become ungrounded.

 

  • You feel ungrounded. That is, you are all in your mind, rather than your body. When you are somewhere where you do not feel comfortable, or are bored, or just do not wish to be there, you will often retreat into your imagination, and travel to far off and distant places. Anywhere but where you are.

 

  • You can always tell how someone else feels, even if they tell you something else. This is often taken personally, though generally, it’s just the other person having issues, which have nothing to do with you. The closer you are to someone, the more you will fear it has to do with you.

 

  • You tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. You make extremely sure that someone has been given every chance, and more, before you act to stop them from doing something that may be hurting or putting you under pressure. Even if this person is acting like a complete jerk, you’ll still try to give him understanding and compassion. Sadly, in this current world, doing such things are often abused, or worse, you end up being the bad person.

 

  • You feel a great connection to animals and things of nature, including plants and trees. Indeed, you may sense the energy of an area very strongly, be it positive or negative.

 

  • If you see someone in distress, pain or who is suffering, you will automatically feel bad along with them, in order to show they are not alone. You may even feel their physical pain and certainly feel their emotional pain. You may actually feel guilty if you do not empathize with such a person and will often put aside your own needs, even if you happen to be feeling good. You cannot abide another’s suffering.

 

  • You may have an overwhelming desire to help, heal and save others from themselves. It is important for the empath to not jump right in and try to ‘fix’ someone who they perceive to be going through a rough time. This is a trap many empaths can fall into, but often their help is not always welcome, or worse, their help is abused, and the empath ends up being used and drained of emotional energy and resources. An empath has a way of discerning if they should be helping someone or not. I call them ‘Soul Calls’.

 

  • You have an inbuilt lie detector. Someone can be telling you a bare-faced lie, but you will know if it’s not true. The interesting thing about this is that you may not know right away, but you will know, and often quite soon. People will often have a window to try and fool you, but once you’ve had time to consolidate all those feelings, you will always know if someone is trying to lie to you, or manipulate you.

 

  • Many empaths are natural healers, and have the ability to heal others either with the laying of hands, or from a distance. Empaths are generally drawn to healing, or a profession that aids others in some way.

 

  • If someone find something funny or sad, or has a strong opinion about a certain subject, you may find yourself agreeing with them, in order to match their energies. Then you may find yourself doing it with the next person who comes along. You always find yourself in agreement with who you are with and you only feel your true feelings when you are along. This doesn’t mean you are wishy-washy or weak, it means that you are tuning in to who the person is and what they are feeling, and allowing their energies to overwhelm yours. Many empaths do this because they feel it will help build a rapport with the other, but all it really does is invalidate who you are, and no one thanks you for it either. Standing in your own space and power can be quite challenging for an empath.

 

  • You don’t feel like you belong to this world. Indeed, the empath will often feel like a fish out of water, and honestly believe that they don’t belong here. That’s because the behaviour of others are so strange and alien to them, they just can’t relate.

 

  • You may feel overwhelmed by too many people, energies or emotions happening all at once. Being an empath is like being a psychic sponge. If you do not have control over your abilities, and know how to purge, you will eventually go into toxic overload, especially when there is so much psychic pollution out there. Sometimes having a cleansing shower can work wonders.

 

  • You and others consider yourself a highly sensitive person. Even the smallest change in moods can be picked up by you. It can be very disconcerting.
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Depression series – Empaths and the holidays or Where has my holiday cheer gone to?

Holiday depression

The holiday season is very hard on empaths. This is especially true for the Christmas and new year period, where everyone feels they should be with family, out celebrating and just having a good time.

Problem is that so many people are alone. They feel like they are missing out on a party where everyone is invited but them. They feel as though they should be enjoying things, but they can’t because they have nowhere to go. No-one to turn to.

What should be a happy and blissful period becomes a wretched and miserable experience.

People get lost in the memories of the past, of better times, of loved ones lost and some view how it was with rose coloured glasses; remembering the good old days.

Multiply this by several thousand, and then by several thousand more, and you have an energy that knocks the empath for a loop during the holiday period.

They will pick up on this intense feeling of depression and hopelessness, and not know why. There will be a sense of loneliness and separation, even if they are with loved ones.

In the northern hemisphere, it’s even worse, as it is winter in many places, and the lack of sunlight contributes to depression.

Add to that the Solstices (either longest or shortest day of the year) which tends to have chaotic energies, you have a recipe for massive depression.

How do you heal such a thing? Not easily. You can’t go around to each person, and help them. Many have their pride, and many are stuck in their own dramas, and unwilling to shift.

I know, personally, I spent my fair share of birthdays, Christmases and birthdays alone. Once upon a time it used to bother me greatly, but I reached a point where I realized that it really didn’t matter. It just meant I got to do what I wanted to do, which works for me.

For the New Year, instead of feeling the need to go out and party, I’d use that as an opportunity to send positive energies to the world and hopefully help bolster it.

Perhaps that is all you can do for now. Have a group prayer. Send love and healing energies to those who need it, and know that it will reach those who need it, and are ready to receive it.

But be aware of the fact that it’s a miserable for many. This is very important. Otherwise, you will feel depressed and will have no idea why there is so much pain.

Bach Flower Remedies: 
Red Chestnut  – Concern for others
Walnut – Protection against external influences (link breaker)
Star of Bethlehem  – For shock / trauma