Tag: empath

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Empath Series: First steps – I’ve just discovered I’m an Empath. Now what? – Part 2 of 4

Research

Photo by João Silas

So you’re an Empath, huh? – Part 2

I get a lot of questions from people who say: I’ve just found out I’m an Empath. What do I do?

There are an abundance of resources and support groups for the Empath, but I thought we’d look at what would be helpful for any Empath to know when they discover they are one.

Personally, I had no clue how to write this, so as usual, when stuck for ideas, I asked my guides to assist.

Their responses are in italics

There are seven steps

Acceptance

Trusting in yourself.

Research

Self-awareness

Practicing your abilities

Grounding

Creating

We previously discussed Acceptance and Trusting in yourself.

Today we’ll at Research and Self-awareness.

 

Research.

When you discover you are an empath, try to learn as much as about the subject as is possible. This is actually not too hard nowadays as there is truly an abundance of information out there on the internet. There isn’t even any need to pay for such information as it’s freely available.

I have seen Empath tool kits for sale. I don’t know much about them but I assume they would be helpful?

Toolkits tend to repackage what is already freely available and sell as new information. However, if you decide to pay for one, it may not provide the answers you seek because you do not really know what you are getting.

There are really many Empaths out there, and connecting to others through forums or support groups is a good start. Sharing experiences, ideas and personal thought with others who are of the same mind set can be very helpful.

Just remember, there are many informative sites out there that offer that type of information for free.

The Empath Guidebook is just one such book and many other giving souls have written some amazing work for the beginning Empath.

Self-awareness.

Once you know and understand you are an Empath, it’s time to start observing yourself being an Empath, and looking at where your feelings begin and end. As amazing as it may seem, people, in general, really do not know themselves all that well. They might think that they do, but you’d be surprised at just how many refuse to really look at who they are being and how they react to things. Often the ego will not allow them to do so, fearing that they may not see themselves as a good or spiritual person or like what they see.

But knowing oneself does not mean you have to accept what you find. It’s not until you accept where you are at right now that you can begin to change what you wish to become.

Know yourself. Trust in what you feel. Feel what you know and you will begin to understand who you really are. Define your boundaries. Declare to the world: ‘This is who I am’ and take pride in it.

Who you are is personal. No one can tell you to be something you are not, or who you don’t wish to be. Whatever you choose to be, let every action reflect that, and in the course of time, you will become that person.

Be aware. Always look at your thoughts and actions and decide if that is who you wish to be. 

Next: Part three: Practicing your abilities. 

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Empath Series: First steps – I’ve just discovered I’m an Empath. Now what? – part 1 of 4

I’ve just found out

I get a lot of questions from people who say: I’ve just found out I’m an Empath. What do I do?

There are an abundance of resources and support groups for the Empath, but I thought we’d look at what would be helpful for any Empath to know when they discover they are one.

Personally, I had no clue how to write this, so as usual, when stuck for ideas, I asked my guides to assist.

Their responses are in italics

So, what are the first things any newly discovered Empath should do?

We’ll look at seven steps that may well help any new Empath. While they are not in any particular order, they will be presented as one leading to the other.

Acceptance

Trusting in yourself.

Research

Self-awareness

Practicing your abilities

Grounding

Creating

Today we’ll look at Acceptance and Trusting in yourself.

Yes

Step one:

Acceptance.

One of the main problems with finding out that you’re an Empath is the doubt one feels. The first question they generally have is: Am I really an Empath?

The answer, as a rule, is, yes, you are. This is certainly true for those who fit the traits of an Empath. However, to their mind, it seems like such a big thing that they can’t comprehend it.

It’s as though you suddenly discover you have psychic powers (and you do) but in your mindset, this is something that only occurs in movies and fantasy fiction.

Comprehending that you are actually an Empath is hard because the first thought that tends to go through one’s mind is: It’s only me. I’m no one special. There must be some mistake!

I’m sure not everyone thinks that way, though.

Some are born self-aware and some have that self-awareness drummed out of them by their parents, peers and the religion they are born into. Generally, if you tell your ‘non-psychic’ friends that you may have some abilities, they will be prone to dismiss this, most likely saying that you are just too oversensitive. This leads to invalidation and doubt.

There is a strange perception that someone else must know more than you do, even though they aren’t living your experiences. We let other people’s points of views and belief systems overwrite our own, and thus, we, ourselves, invalidate our belief systems.

So be aware of that. No one can really tell you what you feel and experience. You need to validate that for yourself.

You don’t need outside Validation

Which brings us to the second step:

Trusting in yourself.

The biggest stumbling block with any psychic ability is that there is no trust that it is real, or that what you are feeling is correct.

It cannot be repeated often enough that your feelings are your truth. If something feels right for you, then it is right for you. If it doesn’t, and your intuition feels like it’s in panic mode, then take notice of that.

You don’t need outside validation. No amount of that will help you anyway. You will always doubt in your heart. You have to listen and trust in what you feel. 

Next: Part two: Research and Self-awareness

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Empath Series: 30 Traits of an Empath by Just Be – Trait 4 – The media or why does this affect me so much?

televisionA while ago, I came across an amazing blog called 30 Traits of an Empath which covered many more traits than I come across before. They were written in a very clear and succinct way.

I approached the author, a very humble person, to see if she or he (I can’t be sure on the gender) would give me permission to discuss them with my guides and post them here. I was told that I may.

The traits will be presented in their original form and if you wish to see the entire list, (and if you haven’t, I really recommend that you do) you can do so here.

As always my guide’s responses are in italics.

4.     Watching violence, cruelty or tragedy on the TV is unbearable: The more attuned an Empath becomes the worse it is and may make it so they eventually have to stop watching TV and reading newspapers altogether.

Personally, I find watching the news pretty frustrating, especially since it’s designed to emotionally manipulate and enrage you.  I tend to catch the headlines, but I don’t really go further than that. On some level, it’s important to know what is happening out there and where everyone’s attention is.

Being an Empath means that when public sentiment and emotions are high, you are more likely to pick up it and become vulnerable.

It also depends if you’re attuned to such things or not. You could have absolutely no resonance with anything that is happening that day, and so you will not sense it.

Remember, Empaths tend to pick up on those things they relate to on some level. Sympathy pains are simply pain you resonate with in your own body. There are fears and deep seated traumas that can make them manifest when someone else brings them up. They can also be health issues that are not yet detected or are unresolved. You can take them as warnings or cautions that you are vulnerable to the same thing that is being discussed.

Weren’t we discussing the news?

The discussion is about resonating with what you are seeing on TV or when reading the newspaper. This, in effect, is about sympathy pains. Something many Empaths are vulnerable to.

Okay. I was expecting to get into a dialogue about how media is manipulative and should be treated with caution.

There isn’t much that doesn’t fall into that category. Most things you come across are manipulative in some way. This is because people are trying to achieve an end result and will craft their words and ideas in order to do that. So, yes, you can certainly suggest this is true for the media, but don’t separate them out to be the bad guys. They are simply providing a service that the public ask for. Otherwise they would not be doing it in the first place. Business goes where the money and demand is.

Of course, this is true for controlled media, too. In countries where it’s controlled by the government of the day, the media is especially notorious for trying to manipulate people. One way or another, they will succeed, though not always with the intended results.

When it comes to newspapers, televisions, movies and any other kind of communication media, you will often find that the more sensitive you become, the choosier you will become about what you decide to watch.

I know there are some movies or plots that always bring an emotional tear to my eye, even though the actual plot is contrived and paper thin.

That’s because you resonate to them on some level. You’re not reacting to a well-crafted story, you’re reacting to a deep longing, or possibly trauma that may even be based in a past life.

This is true for most people, empathic or not. They will watch the most contrived product because it’s a reflection of their own desires and experiences. If you can reach people on an emotional level, you can sell just about anything.

So back to the original point. Violence, news, and so on are hard for an Empath to cope with.

The only other point I will make is that many Empaths actually can sense when something isn’t true. So if they read or see it in the news, it will spark their sense of outrage and possible anger. No one likes being lied to of told things they know aren’t true, and an Empath will pick up on that pretty quickly.

So avoid the media?

No, not entirely. It’s worth knowing what is going on. Just don’t put any emotional investment into it. It is what it is, and is a general reflection of the current social situation. People love their drama. You don’t have to be part of it. You just need to be aware so you can act accordingly. 

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Empath series: Beware of the holiday depression or Merry Christmas.

Empath ChatroomIt’s almost Christmas time.

Generally, it’s the period where people are happier and even the more hard-nosed of people tend to mellow out. Families gather, gifts are exchanged and we all eat way too much food.

Generally.

It’s also a time of great loneliness for many.

There are so many out there who feel lost and alone.

People who may have no one to be with during the holiday period.  Perhaps they have no family. Maybe they don’t feel they have friends. Perhaps they are at the age where everyone has left and all they have are memories of how wonderful things used to be when they were younger.

Maybe things aren’t going well in their life due to work situations, health, money, fears about loved ones or they just don’t feel they fit in and everyone is having one big, joyous party but them.

Even if you’re not a Christian. Even if you’re not religious. That sense of being alone will be intensified during those few weeks.

As Empaths, we are particularly vulnerable to those energies.

As December started, I started to see more and more people comment that they felt something bad was happening and they were feeling down without any obvious reason.

I believe they are picking up on those many others who feel alone.

The holiday season is a very big time for depression and many Empaths can’t wait for it to be done with so things can get back to normal.

For those of you who feel this pain, just remember you are not alone. There are many others out there who feel the same way, and many others who endure what seems like a torturous few weeks.

Just know that there are many ways to connect and support each other such as Empath forums, blogs or chat rooms.

I also have a free ad-free chatroom for this specific purpose. It has been open for the past five or so years. You don’t even need to register to login. You can just type in a name and join as a guest.

This is one of my gifts and services to the Empath community, so if you feel like trying to connect to others, please feel free to visit and say hi.

The room ebbs and flows with the amount of people who are there, but there are certainly people there every day, depending on the time.

Remember, you are not alone, and there is a lot of support for those who seek it.

You can find the Empath Chat Room at this link.

http://www.psi-zone.net/oldchat.html (or just click on the picture above.)

It requires Java to run (as do most chat of this kind.)

You can sign in as a guest by just typing a name into the User Name section or you can register a password protected name by using the ‘create new user account’ link underneath it.

The only rules are courtesy and validation.

Hope we get to see a few there.

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I am not an animal, I’m a human being… or am I?

English: The Phoenix Firebird Deutsch: Der Pho...

Over the years, I’ve notice that people, in general, tend to react to me in various ways.

I seem to make many of them uneasy. Some instantly hate me (even if we never spoke) and some just seem to click with me. Not too many seem to be indifference to me.

Someone made a comment to me the other day that I don’t seem human at times.

It was an interesting comment that made me think.

Fact is: I’ve never felt ‘human’. By that, I mean, I’ve never felt I’ve fitted in. Even growing up, I couldn’t connect to others. I didn’t appear to have the same type of filters my peers and family did.

I didn’t have the same interest or awareness that other appeared to have. I spent most of the time in my mind and was often yelled at for being oblivious. (As though yelling was going to change that.)

As I grew older, I tried to fit in, but it just looked awkward and I felt there was always this invisible barrier between me and everyone else. I was always the odd person out and never invited to parties or to hang out with others.

When I did try to make the effort to mix, it just didn’t work.

I could put it down to my family life, which was traumatic, but lots of others had that, too, and they functioned with their peers just fine.

I made friends once I hit 16 years of age and seemed to be accepted more, however I still did not fit in. In fact, it got worse. I was labelled as weird, but at the same time, more and more people were drawn to me.  Some of them were almost obsessed with me.

Throughout it all, I never felt like I belonged. I felt terribly alone, and was always on the lookout for soul family members. That is: people who were not my blood family, but connected to me.

I don’t know how, but I knew they were out there, but how I was to find them eluded me.

When it comes down to it, I don’t think I feel what being human would feel like. I don’t experience lust and addictions, (unless you count chocolate). I have no interest in clubs, pubs, drinking, drugs, gangs, groups, etc. I don’t even see death in the same way others do.  Never have.

I did try. I would go to parties, joined my friends at nightclubs, tried discos (back in the 70s) and even went to a pub or two.

All were torture.

It’s hard for an Empath to describe what it’s like, but imagine yourself in a plastic bubble that is being buffeted by high winds from all direction. Add to that an inflatable hood that’s over your head, and the pressure is pumped up too high.  So you feel blocked off but overwhelmed. You can’t really function and the best you can do is nod and smile when someone tries to talk to you.

That’s how it is for me. It’s doubly worse because I didn’t have any interest in being in those places in the first place, but thought I should try them. I thought, hey, maybe it will be fun. It wasn’t. All I wanted to do was get the hell out at the first opportunity.

I always wondered to myself, do people actually enjoy these things? Are they really having a good time? What draws them back night after night? I didn’t understand back then and I still don’t understand today.

I’m sure I’m not alone here. There are people who class themselves as Otherkin and some who believe they are Starseeds.  And though I’ve never seen myself as those things, I certainly fit most of the signs they mention.

Being human is more than just being in a human body. At least, that’s what I feel.

How many reading this have felt the same way? Please feel free to comment.

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I had this experience the other day or did I…?

Fraser Illusion

Experiences.

We are so ready to dismiss them.

Sometimes you experience something that feels very strong at the time, but when you come away from it, you wonder if you were just making it all up or you were mistaken.

I get this a lot. In fact, I can imagine my guides’ frustration as I tend to go back and forth on experiences which seem to fade in my memory almost as soon as they are done.

Why?

Maybe it’s because I have a really poor memory or part of me still has trouble accepting that the unbelievable is real. Or perhaps it’s fear that my ego is out of control and making it all up.

Either way, it’s frustrating: Very frustrating.

My own experiences are so unreal that after the event that I can’t even tell people about them. It’s as though I shift into another frame of mind.

What feels so compelling at the time will feel like someone who is out for attention.

I have to wonder, though: Can I afford to keep this up? Personally, I don’t think so. Personally, I feel that it’s time to stop doubting and just lay my cards on the table.

What bothers me  is that I’ve seen so many others do the same.

What they tell others seemed like rubbish to me. I’m not even sure if  they did experience something or if they just really just fooled themselves into believing their story.

Their stories just didn’t sound real. Or ring true.

While I didn’t sneer or call them out on those things, it did hurt their credibility, at least in my eyes and for those around them.

Then, on the other hand, there are certainly plenty of people for whom I accepted their stories and experiences without a second thought.

What is the difference between those I believe and those I don’t?

I feel, that in the end, it comes down to if you feel the resonance of truth behind their words.

As an Empath, I can sense if something is true or not. If it isn’t true, I will feel anger, antsy and extreme annoyance. (For instance, something I felt about a recently departed so called psychic and many who are still living and in the same line of work.)

In the end, you can only tell your story and trust that those who hear it will listen to their feelings and judge if it’s true or not.

I was going to write about an experience I had last week end, but ended up heading in another direction. So I’ll leave that for another entry.

So, how do others handle this conundrum? Do you believe what you experiences? Do you feel you can tell others? Have people believed you?

Please feel free to comment.