I think you out to know I’m feeling very depressed – Marvin, the paranoid android.

Empaths and depression

While Marvin, from The Hitch Hiker’s guide to the galaxy was by no stretch of the imagination an empath, he certainly was depressed, though in my opinion, not paranoid.

Depression is a really big problem of empaths. It is massive. Unless you have suffered from depression, you can’t imagine just how soul destroying and debilitating it is.

I remember, many years ago, when I went to a doctor to try and cure my own depression, he explained to me that the type of people who were depressed were those who were caring, were concerned about others and tended to be, well, empathic. I don’t recall his exact words, but he was describing empaths.

He put me on anti-depressants, and I took myself off them 6 weeks later, as they were worse than the problem.

Empaths are very, very susceptible to depression. Their life can seem an unending hell, and each day they wake up and wish they weren’t still here.

Depression has many causes, and while it is very possible to heal them, it’s certainly not always easy.

Sometimes you have to go deep. Very, very deep.

Depression does not come out of nowhere. It has a basis, which normally goes back to either childhood, or a very traumatic event in your life that you never dealt with or came to terms with.

There’s a lot to say about depression, and what you can do to heal from it, and over the coming period, I plan to repost my experiences, views and what you can do to deal with it.

It must be pointed out, though, that curing depression may take some deep work. I mean, sometimes you will need to look at things that your mind has been slipping around, or you have blocked out because you can’t bear to think about it.

The single most useful tool I’ve found for curing depression are the Bach Flower Remedies, and anyone who knows me will know I talk about them a lot, and have dedicated a huge amount of space to them over the year. I know them inside out, and so any posts about depression will generally include what can help heal in those cases.

One thing to note about depressed empaths is that they are no fun to be around. I mean this for other people, who may not be empathic, but will sense, nonetheless, that a person is hurting, feeling miserable, and really wishes they were dead.

So they tend to be avoided. Possibly the worst thing you can do, though. Isolating the depressed Empath is actually counterproductive for them, and makes them feel even worse.

Validation and support go a very long way to healing.

Are men empaths too? What about gay people?

I’ve seen this question asked, and I raised my eyebrows, thinking that I had never assigned gender, or sexual preference, etc, to if someone is an empath or not.

Fact is, empathy occurs in all walks of life. Men can be just as empathic as women, and straight people can be just as empathic as gay people.

I believe that while we are generally empathic by nature, the Empath is borne from having to be aware of the danger around them.

This generally starts at childhood, where there may be great trauma or danger around them. It might be child abuse, sexual abuse, incest, domestic violence, bullying, and all those things that make our childhood hell.

The child learns to become aware of warning signs, so they can try to avoid them. They will learn to sense the mood at home, even before they get there. They will learn to detect the energies of places and if they are safe or nurturing, even if they aren’t aware they are doing this.

Empaths appear to be a product of their environment, though that does not mean that there aren’t natural born empaths.

The problem is that those who are borne from childhood trauma are mostly unaware of what they have become. They do not realize they are extremely sensitive. They do not understand why others can’t see what they see, or feel what they feel. They do not realize that the depression and anxiety they feel is not how they should be feeling. They don’t get that others are not feeling the same way.

And if they eventually do come to that realization, they don’t understand it’s because they are an Empath.

Friends and families will tell them they are just too sensitive. Others will tell them to ‘get over it’, as though that advise is useful in any way.

Women are said to be more in tune with their feelings and abilities then men. For the most part, this is my observation, too, though there are certainly men who are just as sensitive.

Gender and sexual preference do not make an empath, though they possibly may enhance that ability.