I am not an animal, I’m a human being… or am I?

English: The Phoenix Firebird Deutsch: Der Pho...

Over the years, I’ve notice that people, in general, tend to react to me in various ways.

I seem to make many of them uneasy. Some instantly hate me (even if we never spoke) and some just seem to click with me. Not too many seem to be indifference to me.

Someone made a comment to me the other day that I don’t seem human at times.

It was an interesting comment that made me think.

Fact is: I’ve never felt ‘human’. By that, I mean, I’ve never felt I’ve fitted in. Even growing up, I couldn’t connect to others. I didn’t appear to have the same type of filters my peers and family did.

I didn’t have the same interest or awareness that other appeared to have. I spent most of the time in my mind and was often yelled at for being oblivious. (As though yelling was going to change that.)

As I grew older, I tried to fit in, but it just looked awkward and I felt there was always this invisible barrier between me and everyone else. I was always the odd person out and never invited to parties or to hang out with others.

When I did try to make the effort to mix, it just didn’t work.

I could put it down to my family life, which was traumatic, but lots of others had that, too, and they functioned with their peers just fine.

I made friends once I hit 16 years of age and seemed to be accepted more, however I still did not fit in. In fact, it got worse. I was labelled as weird, but at the same time, more and more people were drawn to me.  Some of them were almost obsessed with me.

Throughout it all, I never felt like I belonged. I felt terribly alone, and was always on the lookout for soul family members. That is: people who were not my blood family, but connected to me.

I don’t know how, but I knew they were out there, but how I was to find them eluded me.

When it comes down to it, I don’t think I feel what being human would feel like. I don’t experience lust and addictions, (unless you count chocolate). I have no interest in clubs, pubs, drinking, drugs, gangs, groups, etc. I don’t even see death in the same way others do.  Never have.

I did try. I would go to parties, joined my friends at nightclubs, tried discos (back in the 70s) and even went to a pub or two.

All were torture.

It’s hard for an Empath to describe what it’s like, but imagine yourself in a plastic bubble that is being buffeted by high winds from all direction. Add to that an inflatable hood that’s over your head, and the pressure is pumped up too high.  So you feel blocked off but overwhelmed. You can’t really function and the best you can do is nod and smile when someone tries to talk to you.

That’s how it is for me. It’s doubly worse because I didn’t have any interest in being in those places in the first place, but thought I should try them. I thought, hey, maybe it will be fun. It wasn’t. All I wanted to do was get the hell out at the first opportunity.

I always wondered to myself, do people actually enjoy these things? Are they really having a good time? What draws them back night after night? I didn’t understand back then and I still don’t understand today.

I’m sure I’m not alone here. There are people who class themselves as Otherkin and some who believe they are Starseeds.  And though I’ve never seen myself as those things, I certainly fit most of the signs they mention.

Being human is more than just being in a human body. At least, that’s what I feel.

How many reading this have felt the same way? Please feel free to comment.

Should we use labels to define others or Don’t call me human!

Labels A number of times, when I’ve mentioned that someone is an Empath, they say it’s a label, and they don’t like using labels.

As it goes, I’m ambivalent about if this is really an issue.

The question I have is: How do you define something without a label? If people refused to be categorized then how can they identify who they are, and what they can do?

Fact is, everything is a label. Defining your gender requires a label.

If you specialize in something, it requires a label. For instance, if someone is a medical practitioner, you would call them a ‘doctor’, which is a label. They would hardly say, don’t call me ‘doctor’ because you’re labelling me. At least you would hope they wouldn’t as you want to know who is a doctor so you would know who to see if you have health issues.

Race, abilities, body type, hobbies, professions, skills and everything requires some kind of definition and like it or not, we use labels all the time because no one would have a clue what we’re talking about unless we use some agreed on definition that gives us a point of reference.

If someone has the signs and traits of an Empath, it is easier to say, you may be an Empath than go into the dozens of abilities they may have, probably losing them about a third of the way in. I feel labels are fine.

The thing I feel should be avoided is stereotyping people because of using a label. It’s like saying, you’re a male (labelling) and all men are bastards (stereotyping). (Whereas, there may be some who might not be. 🙂 )

Also, problems arise when they are used as a means to degrade others, however that is more an issue of bullying and attacking rather than defining.

Labelling helps us to define, and gives us an agreed standard on which to discuss a topic on. Next time someone objects to being defined by means of a label, ask them how they would do it then and see if they can come up with a reasonable response.

Anyone have any thoughts on this subject?

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