I am not an animal, I’m a human being… or am I?

English: The Phoenix Firebird Deutsch: Der Pho...

Over the years, I’ve notice that people, in general, tend to react to me in various ways.

I seem to make many of them uneasy. Some instantly hate me (even if we never spoke) and some just seem to click with me. Not too many seem to be indifference to me.

Someone made a comment to me the other day that I don’t seem human at times.

It was an interesting comment that made me think.

Fact is: I’ve never felt ‘human’. By that, I mean, I’ve never felt I’ve fitted in. Even growing up, I couldn’t connect to others. I didn’t appear to have the same type of filters my peers and family did.

I didn’t have the same interest or awareness that other appeared to have. I spent most of the time in my mind and was often yelled at for being oblivious. (As though yelling was going to change that.)

As I grew older, I tried to fit in, but it just looked awkward and I felt there was always this invisible barrier between me and everyone else. I was always the odd person out and never invited to parties or to hang out with others.

When I did try to make the effort to mix, it just didn’t work.

I could put it down to my family life, which was traumatic, but lots of others had that, too, and they functioned with their peers just fine.

I made friends once I hit 16 years of age and seemed to be accepted more, however I still did not fit in. In fact, it got worse. I was labelled as weird, but at the same time, more and more people were drawn to me.  Some of them were almost obsessed with me.

Throughout it all, I never felt like I belonged. I felt terribly alone, and was always on the lookout for soul family members. That is: people who were not my blood family, but connected to me.

I don’t know how, but I knew they were out there, but how I was to find them eluded me.

When it comes down to it, I don’t think I feel what being human would feel like. I don’t experience lust and addictions, (unless you count chocolate). I have no interest in clubs, pubs, drinking, drugs, gangs, groups, etc. I don’t even see death in the same way others do.  Never have.

I did try. I would go to parties, joined my friends at nightclubs, tried discos (back in the 70s) and even went to a pub or two.

All were torture.

It’s hard for an Empath to describe what it’s like, but imagine yourself in a plastic bubble that is being buffeted by high winds from all direction. Add to that an inflatable hood that’s over your head, and the pressure is pumped up too high.  So you feel blocked off but overwhelmed. You can’t really function and the best you can do is nod and smile when someone tries to talk to you.

That’s how it is for me. It’s doubly worse because I didn’t have any interest in being in those places in the first place, but thought I should try them. I thought, hey, maybe it will be fun. It wasn’t. All I wanted to do was get the hell out at the first opportunity.

I always wondered to myself, do people actually enjoy these things? Are they really having a good time? What draws them back night after night? I didn’t understand back then and I still don’t understand today.

I’m sure I’m not alone here. There are people who class themselves as Otherkin and some who believe they are Starseeds.  And though I’ve never seen myself as those things, I certainly fit most of the signs they mention.

Being human is more than just being in a human body. At least, that’s what I feel.

How many reading this have felt the same way? Please feel free to comment.

Otherkin: Myth or fact?

Chinese Dragon QM-r

In this life’s journey, I’ve come across a lot of people who claim they are not fully human. They are classed as otherkin.

That is: a creature that inhabits a human body.

There are those who claim to be vampires, gargoyles, dragons, phoenixes and god knows what else.

On the surface, it sounds preposterous and really, I have always had a hard time swallowing many of the claims people make.

Still, there are dozens of people who I personally know who makes such claims.

And to be fair, for nigh on 25 years, my guides, and many others claim that I’m a phoenix spirit in a human body.

I go back and forth on this, as you might expect, but those who know me have no doubt as to the truth of it.

That said, some of you might be wondering if I actually believe in dragons, phoenii, unicorns or whatever.

I think the best way I can explain is like this.

The soul is not a representation of the body. I believe that it is the other way around.

The shape, the look, the form and what radiates are reflections of that soul aspect. It is reflecting the energy contained within.

Beings such as dragons, phoenii, or even dogs and cats are just labels. They are names for the manifestation of energy we can see.

For example, a dragon would take on a particular shape that not only defines what it looks like, but also reflects its nature and what it can do.

If it looks menacing and powerful, it’s because it’s a reflection of the soul and energy within.

Of course, I doubt anyone has seen a dragon in the flesh, so to speak, but there are certainly plenty of representations of them about.

Even colours can tell you a lot as they represent various vibrations.

Each colour has its own properties. In general, though, the lighter, clearer and brighter the colour, the higher and more spiritual the soul is.

From my studies, I’ve come to the conclusion that when certain breeds become extinct, it may well be due to the group soul evolving to a new level.

Or maybe it may have manifested itself on another place or time.

One example is birds. Some are said to descended from dinosaurs. The hummingbird, according to some esoteric sources, is said to have once been a Tyrannosaurus Rex. This shows how the spirit has evolved from almost one extreme to another.

I do believe that mythical creatures exist, but they exist as a representation of certain energies. They are just labels that we use to name and identify.

Everything exists on some level.