Category: Empath – Traits of

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Empath Series: Three tips to help cope with being an Empath or I have to do what?

Showerhead

Being an Empath is not an easy road. The higher level you are, the more overwhelmed, and challenged you may feel. The below are some tips on what you can do to cope.

 

Take a shower.

This is a very simple technique, but it can help enormously. Take a shower or a bath. Water helps wash away the psychic pollution that you have accumulated during the day. Stand or lie in it, and imagine light showering you and all the days takings being washed away.

I can’t cope without my nightly shower.

On the subject of baths, it’s really important that you rinse off first before taking a bath. Water is programmable, and is able to take on the vibrations of what is put into it. (Water is amazing stuff!)

If you don’t rinse off first, you will bath in a tub full of the psychic pollution that you are trying to get rid of. So, quickly have a shower, imagine the darkness flowing away, and enjoy your bath. I recommend a packet full of Epson salts and 7 drops of the Lavender essential oil.

Do something physical.

Running, walking, sports, Tai-Chi, yoga,, etc. This can help greatly. Do what makes you feel good. When you feel good, you will be more in your body.

And yes, I know that when you’re tired, it’s hard to get started, and it’s the last thing you want to do. Even a five minute walk will help.

My partner’s dog ensures that I get out a few times a week. 🙂

Avoid dramas

One of the things I had to do to help gain control over my empathy was to stop feeding my dramas. The Celestine Prophecy, a fictional book by James Redfield, put four main drama’s into a nutshell.

Aloof – Staying distant from others emotionally.
Interrogator – Finding fault with what others say or do.
Intimidator – Aggressive behaviour in order to dominate others
Poor me – Being a victim.

This is done to have energy focused on ourselves, though the results end up being negative rather than positive.

I used to be aloof and then fall into poor me mode. Even though I certainly didn’t enjoy it, and even though they never worked for any length of time, I never saw myself as being in a drama. To my mind, I was the misunderstood soul battling against all odds in a world that didn’t understand, much less care. In truth, no one really notices that much when you are aloof. They just assume that you’re not interested. Poor me / victim people are generally avoided as they can be very draining

The thing with dramas is that they are hard to accept while you are in them. What’s more, even if you know you are in them, you may not care and it just annoys and anger you for someone to point it out. It was not until I made the decision to consciously stop entering into them that things really started to change for me.

One of the keys was being honest with myself. I would often pretend one motivation while really secretly harbouring another. And yes, my reasons were always sound, but they were not the real reasons I would do things. Ultimately, such behaviour ends up being counterproductive and denying your real reasons for doing something, even to yourself, does not make them any less real or valid.

This can be dangerous behaviour for an empath to indulge in because you are unwittingly creating chinks in your boundaries.

Boundaries are the limits you set for yourself. They are very important, especially for an empath, because once you’ve set them, and more importantly, enforce them, then you will start to know where you end and others begin. Limits such as, for example, refusing to be drawn into someone’s drama. Refusing to take on the guilt of someone else. Not getting involved in pointless gossip. Those are just examples. What you choose to define is completely up to you, but whatever you choose, do your best to enforce it.

By setting boundaries, you are also defining yourself, and that is why it’s important to be as honest with yourself as possible. Let all your actions define who you see yourself as, and who you wish to be.

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Empath Series: What is a Soul Call (part 5) or does this count as a love spell?

Melbourne's CBD from Docklands at twilight

We’ve discussed how Soul Calls are a call for help to the universe, and how they may be answered, and I thought it would be worth discussing what they are not, and what they can’t be used for.

Someone once asked me if they could be used to draw a person to you, or to make someone fall in love you.

The short answer is, no.

The long answer is, when a Soul Call goes out, you are asking for help to your problem. The one who responds is generally the most qualified person to help.

More often than not, this might be someone you don’t expect, or someone you have not even met yet.

When they come into your life, you may even be resistant to them because you are looking for something else.

However, you wouldn’t contract a plumber to fix your electrical fixtures.  The same holds true for soul calls.

To use them as a tool to try and manipulate others simply does not work, and why would you want to do so in any case? Would you really want to make someone fall in love with you and act in a way that is not in keeping with their own soul?

Having said all that, you can actually call for someone who is right for you if you are after a relationship. It may not be the person you desire (and more often than not, the one you want right now may not be best for you on a long term basis) but they will come.

Also, it’s important to be aware that sometimes you will need to go through, and experience things that will make you ready for this person. This may take more time than you might like or expect, but what you will learn, and gain, will be very important for the longevity of your relationship. Timing is everything.

And even if you are ready, the partner may not appear right away, either.

To illustrate this point, I’ll share one of my own experiences.

My first marriage was a soul call, and while I already foresaw that it would end before it even began, I also knew that in order for me to get to where I am now, I had to follow my feelings and trust that it would work out as it was meant to.

I learned a lot from it, gained a lot, and when the time came, we went our separate ways because we had diverged so much from the paths we started on.

I gave myself a long time to be alone, enjoy my own company, and just do the things I wanted without feeling the pull of others around me.

Six or so years later, I felt I was ready for another relationship and I sent out a call saying that I was ready, come and find me. At the time, I had quite a few potential women who were interested in me, but none of them felt right, so I didn’t encourage anything.

I then felt I needed to create an eHarmony (Online matchmaking service)  account, and I joined for 3 months, but had no draws to anyone. I did meet one or two, and they showed interest, but I knew they were not for me.

Then after six months, I felt a strong pull to reactivate my membership. I waited until there was a special on (which saved me a lot of money) and re-joined.

I knew I was looking for something, but wasn’t sure what. I went through about 400 profiles until I hit one that just drew me.  I went through the contact procedure, and when she answered back, I felt right away that I had found who I was looking for.

Today she is my partner, but the thing I wanted to point out here is that there was a reason it took six months to meet her.

When I sent out the Soul Call, she was in another country.  She was considering what she wanted to do next in her career path when this offer from Australia came up and the offer she really wanted to follow fell through.

So she ended up in Melbourne, Australia. The timing of meeting was just right.

When you send out a Soul Call, it will be answered, and it will be the right answer. You just have to trust the process.

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Q&A – Developing my abilities or I might have been out of my mind.

Vector drawing of the five kinds of Zener cards. Ordered by number of lines and curves. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Should you develop your empath abilities?

If you have any topics you want to know more about, please ask.

This week’s question come from nattietee at (http://lovelightlearn.wordpress.com/)

She asked.

Have you ever thought or tried to hone your abilities as an empath? I would love to hear more.

Thanks Nattietee and that is a really good question because the answer is not what you might expect.

To answer this, I’ll relate a story that happened to me back in the mid 1980s.

At the time, I had just read about being telepathic, and I thought that this would be a very cool ability to develop.

So I made the decision to do what I could to increase that ability.

That was before I really understood that I was an Empath, and that I was suffering from depression., I also was very ungrounded, but had no clue that it was grounded even meant.

But the idea seemed like it would be a lot of fun, and I knew I was already a little telepathic, as I’d often pick up on thoughts of others before they said them.

Back in those days, I was going through a CBing (Citizen Band Radio) phase, and I’d often drive around at night just chatting to random people.

One night, about a day after I decided to become telepathic, I was talking to this lady I had never spoken to before (or since for that matter) and the discussion was nothing exceptional. Then, out of the blue, she stated that she had a friend who became telepathic, and that he had gone mad because of it.

That was a clear a hint to me, as it could be, not to continue my plan. So I dropped it.

It was only many years later when I thought about it, and realized what an insane plan it would have been, as I was barely coping with my current psychic levels back then, and even my basic understandings was sorely lacking.

I would have left myself completely open and vulnerable. I don’t believe I would have coped, let alone stayed sane if I gone ahead and developed those powers.

To answer your question, I don’t try to push my abilities as an Empath, but I work to be aware of them, and listen to my feelings as to how far I should go with them.

To rise too fast, to push too hard is sure to lead to burn out, and as anyone who has experienced such things will tell you, that is a horrible state to be in and it can take years to recover.

I just trust that my abilities are exactly where they need to be, and they steadily seem to grow stronger over the natural course of time.

No doubt I could be further along than I am right now, but going with the flow and the natural growth always feels like the best options to me.

It’s worth reminding anyone that it is dangerous to raise your energies and powers before you are ready to cope with them.

Got a question? Want to know more about a subject? Please leave it in the comment section, or send it to xeraphax@gmail.com. Questions will be answered on Sundays. 

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Empath Series: What is a Soul Call (part 4) or am I supposed to get something out of this?

You might wonder (or not) if there is any benefit to answering a soul call. It can be a lot of work, and while the pay offs might be rewarding at times, there will be other times where you feel it’s just been a waste of your time and effort because nothing seems to change.

If you’re altruistic, you won’t care if you get something out of it. Still, there are definite benefits to answering soul calls.

I guess the easiest way to illustrate this is to tell my own experiences.

My first call was back in 1987, where I felt a compulsion to aid this lady I was friends with. She had major traumas, and I felt I could help her. As I had no clue what I was doing, I fumbled around for a few weeks, trying different things until finally I got to the answers.

They’re not relevant to this topic, but I gained two things from that initial experience.

The first was realizing that I could connect to other people, and that was a bad idea, as they could drag you under with them if you didn’t disconnect. I swore I would never allow that to happen again. I did not know the word ‘empath’ back then, but I now knew I was one .

The other thing that happened was that my guides stepped in, and just plain outright told me the answers. This was a really intense experience, and everything was right on the money. Ironically, I dismissed this experience as having guides wasn’t part of my belief system at the time. However, the experience was very real and showed me there was something outside myself.

The second soul call happened in 1994- 95. That was a success, and it gave me quite a few gifts in return.

I was introduced to the Bach Flower Remedies through the lady I was helping.

I gained knowledge that put me firmly on this current path.

I was introduced to people that I needed to meet in order to fulfil a soul contract which had been part of my life till then.

It sparked the dark night of the soul event that allowed me to let go of my old and redundant belief system and embrace a much healthier one.

It made me realize there was much, much more to myself than I had ever suspected. When I finally understood what I had to do, I knew how to do it, and it felt like slipping into a pair of well worn shoes. It opened doors.

And while it is true that the appreciate factor of these people wasn’t all that high, what I took away with me was something money can’t buy.

A Soul Call is not only a chance to help someone else, but an opportunity to grow and gain valuable insight into who you are, what you can do, and to progress along your chosen path.

Next: What a Soul Call is not.

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Empath Series: What is a Soul Call (part 3) or I know I come across as a mad person, but….

One of the things with Soul Calls is that you may feel very awkward or embarrassed passing the message on. The Fear of looking foolish or deluded tends to stop us from doing so.

For instance, I deal with people who are sometimes under, what you could term, Psychic Attacks. This is a topic for another blog, but in short, it’s an attack from another person, or something in the astral that is dong on a mental level.

I know they are real. I’ve spent my entire life learning about, and dealing with them, but try telling someone, who you don’t know, that they are under psychic attack.

Not only does it sound crazy, but you would feel that the chances are that they will question your sanity and credibility.

And yet, that’s exactly what I’ve had to do from time to time. As I know better nowadays to ignore such calls, I just pass on the message, and explain what I’m getting. I’ve yet to have someone tell me that I’m crazy. In fact, I get the opposite. They say: that makes sense and explains a lot.

Fortunately, not everything sounds as crazy, but even telling someone they are possibly an Empath can be a challenge.

I have noted that as it’s the message they need to hear, the chances of them actually dismissing you as a nutter are very small. At least in my experience and I’ve had 100s of such calls.

Generally, I find that people shift in and out of your life as needed. I cannot recall the amount of people I’ve been called on to help, and who have moved on just as quickly. From time to time, I might hear from them, and be told that I’ve made a difference. That’s always heartening to know.

I’ve also sent out Soul Calls, too. The thing that amazes me is how quickly they can be answered. I’ve seen it as fast as the next day when I’ve asked for answers to a question I needed to know.

Every so often, I’ll put out a call for my soul family to come and find me, and sure enough, they will do so. I’ve even had people tell me that they felt a compulsion to contact me, even though they weren’t sure if I would even read their e-mails.

Anyone reading this particular entry is not doing it by chance. It is because it contains information that you will need at some point.

Nothing is random.

Right now, my main pull it is to put out as much information as I can, on this blog, about Empaths, Depression, Healing, and many other subjects. I don’t know how many will read it. I guess that doesn’t matter. I know that those who need to find it will.

Next: What do you get out of a soul call?

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Empath Series: What is a Soul Call (part 2) or is this going to take long?

Not all Soul Calls need be major events. Some can be, and they can last years, but sometimes it can be as simple as just passing on a message.

Sometimes it can be a little more complex, such as a need to help someone get to a safe place in their life.

Other times, it’s to guide someone to a new level.

But really, it can be anything. It varies in nature, and how well it is answered depends on if the one answering the call understands what is happening.

It might be just a word that needs to be said. A quick explanation of something you happen to know, or it could be a major long term situation.

But how do you know if it is a soul call or just a natural attraction to someone?

That can be tricky, especially if you are an Empath, and you can’t discern your own feelings from those of another.

When I feel a call, it starts off rather innocuously. It can be just urge to read something, or maybe watch something on television that is out of your normal habits. That may lead to gaining certain pieces of information that you might need soon after, when someone else is searching for it.

For instance, one of my first major souls calls occurred because I was seeking to alleviate the of a 20 year old shoulder injury. I passed a natural healing shop, felt I should try it out, and got drawn into something that lasted around nine months.

And it was all because of that shoulder injury.

However, it should be worth noting: Nothing is random.

The challenge is how do you tell someone what they need to hear? How do you do what is needed for those calling? In order for the call to be completed, you need to pass on what you feel the draw or compulsion to do.

After that, nothing more need be done.

The time does vary greatly, and it’s possible to get several calls at once, but they tend to be of a shorter nature.

I seem to get many such calls, and sometimes I’ll browse groups with the feeling I’m looking for something, and I can’t stop until I find it. Once I’ve found it, I will know because I suddenly no longer feel the need to do so.

Right now, my main calls seem to consist of telling people they may be an Empath, or giving them a way out of a deep depression. Of course, whether they choose to listen or not is another matter, but it is still important that I do my part.

Next: Part 3 – Dealing with the fear of answering.

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