Category: HSP

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Empath Series: First steps – I’ve just discovered I’m an Empath. Now what? – part 1 of 4

I’ve just found out

I get a lot of questions from people who say: I’ve just found out I’m an Empath. What do I do?

There are an abundance of resources and support groups for the Empath, but I thought we’d look at what would be helpful for any Empath to know when they discover they are one.

Personally, I had no clue how to write this, so as usual, when stuck for ideas, I asked my guides to assist.

Their responses are in italics

So, what are the first things any newly discovered Empath should do?

We’ll look at seven steps that may well help any new Empath. While they are not in any particular order, they will be presented as one leading to the other.

Acceptance

Trusting in yourself.

Research

Self-awareness

Practicing your abilities

Grounding

Creating

Today we’ll look at Acceptance and Trusting in yourself.

Yes

Step one:

Acceptance.

One of the main problems with finding out that you’re an Empath is the doubt one feels. The first question they generally have is: Am I really an Empath?

The answer, as a rule, is, yes, you are. This is certainly true for those who fit the traits of an Empath. However, to their mind, it seems like such a big thing that they can’t comprehend it.

It’s as though you suddenly discover you have psychic powers (and you do) but in your mindset, this is something that only occurs in movies and fantasy fiction.

Comprehending that you are actually an Empath is hard because the first thought that tends to go through one’s mind is: It’s only me. I’m no one special. There must be some mistake!

I’m sure not everyone thinks that way, though.

Some are born self-aware and some have that self-awareness drummed out of them by their parents, peers and the religion they are born into. Generally, if you tell your ‘non-psychic’ friends that you may have some abilities, they will be prone to dismiss this, most likely saying that you are just too oversensitive. This leads to invalidation and doubt.

There is a strange perception that someone else must know more than you do, even though they aren’t living your experiences. We let other people’s points of views and belief systems overwrite our own, and thus, we, ourselves, invalidate our belief systems.

So be aware of that. No one can really tell you what you feel and experience. You need to validate that for yourself.

You don’t need outside Validation

Which brings us to the second step:

Trusting in yourself.

The biggest stumbling block with any psychic ability is that there is no trust that it is real, or that what you are feeling is correct.

It cannot be repeated often enough that your feelings are your truth. If something feels right for you, then it is right for you. If it doesn’t, and your intuition feels like it’s in panic mode, then take notice of that.

You don’t need outside validation. No amount of that will help you anyway. You will always doubt in your heart. You have to listen and trust in what you feel. 

Next: Part two: Research and Self-awareness

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Past lives: Why we remember and why we don’t.

past lives clockIn my last entry, I asked the question: If past lives are not important, why do we remember them?

When I’m unsure of the answer, I’ll sometimes ask my guides to channel one. As usual, their response is in italics.

This dialogue also ended up being more personal than I thought it would, so if that kind of stuff does not interest you, feel free to skip it.

So, my question to you is: If past lives are not important, then why do we remember? In fact, why did you go out of the way to help me remember?

It very much depends on what your soul agenda is. Are you here to experience yourself in the presence of what is not you? If so, then it generally is not required that you remember who you are. You will experience this without knowing or remembering anything about your past or future existence. (Which is all happening now.)

So, what you’re saying is that if we want to just experience who we are, we need to forget everything so we can do this?

Yes. That is the basis of most people’s experience here. It doesn’t matter what they did or what they were before, they can choose to forget everything they ever knew and have a life that seems completely independent of everything they ever experienced. Of course, they will not remember this, so they will assume they have only one life.

Is this a good way to do such a thing? The answer is: depends. There is no right or wrong way, just what suits your purposes and soul agenda.

And some people have no other agenda than to live a life without any recall of their other ones.

You, on the other hand, are not here to just experience who you are. You have a very clear and defined agenda. In your case, it is quite important that you remember who you are, and why you are here.

I guess so. I’ve certainly got a few comments that me defining who I am, and who others are is not a good idea.

If it wasn’t what you needed to do, you simply wouldn’t be doing it. As I said, you have a very clear agenda in mind. You have a very lofty goal and you would have great difficulty achieving it without those memories. Do you think anything you’ve managed to do in the past 20 years would have been achieved if you had no clue as to how it all fitted together?

It’s possible. Things seemed to happen regardless of what I wanted. Especially back then.

Then you reached a point where you could proceed no further until you began to understand exactly who you were. You were even told this at the time (though you rejected it out of hand).

Okay, so whether it’s important for us to remember past lives depends on what we are here to do then?

Yes. As we said, you have very specific goals and agendas. You also have stated that you do not wish to return so you need to get it right ‘now’ and not stumble about blindly.

So… what exactly am I hear to do that is so important?

Your main agenda is to help people remember who they are. Give their power back to them and have them understand that they have the ability to create the life they desire. Too many feel they have no control and have to live with the hands they feel they are dealt with. Little do they realize that they choose those very hands they believe to be random.

How does me knowing who I am help here? Surely I can just read this stuff in books and pass on it on to others.

You can’t read in books what you have remembered. You can’t find that information online. It simply doesn’t exist at this point of time. No, you can only impart it once you remember it. And on that subject, when are you going to start doing so?

I thought I was already doing that. Isn’t that what this blog and my websites are all about?

In part. That is general information. The knowledge you can pass on can help explain why this world is in such a mess. It can explain why things happened the way they did. It can help people understand some of the history and what can be done to create a higher version of this life.

But you hold back on doing this. Why?

Maybe because the information is so out there, I would doubt it would be believed in any way shape or form.

So, you’re deciding for others if they are going to believe it not? Fear is never a good enough reason not to do something. Yes, your information might appear to be ‘out there’ but think about this. People, who are meant to find it, will find it. They can only find it if you’re ready to put it there.

Empath information is wonderful, but you have other things you can share. It’s time that people understood that they are not the only ones experiencing the things that you do. You can give them this gift. Don’t worry about how it will look. People will make their own decisions regardless of what you write. Some will accept it. Some will reject it. That’s not for you to decide. That is their own life-path. Your job is to make the information available. What people choose to do with it is then up to them.

Okay, well, I think I’ve gotten somewhat off the topic here.

No, the topic is why remember past lives? In order for you to do what you must do, you need to remember. It’s that simple.

So, to sum it up, it depends on the individual and what they wish to achieve?

Exactly. Hence, do not tell another what they should or should not try, especially if it feels right for them. You have to right to do what you need to do and they have the right to ignore you.

That sounds like an open invitation for chaos.

All actions have consequences. Always be mindful of that. If your actions do not reflect who you are, and where you going, then you are best not doing them. If you wish for chaos, act chaotically, but remember, you will end up in a world that reflects that. If you wish for peace, then act peacefully, and you will end up in the world that reflects that.

Choose wisely. 

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Empath series: Beware of the holiday depression or Merry Christmas.

Empath ChatroomIt’s almost Christmas time.

Generally, it’s the period where people are happier and even the more hard-nosed of people tend to mellow out. Families gather, gifts are exchanged and we all eat way too much food.

Generally.

It’s also a time of great loneliness for many.

There are so many out there who feel lost and alone.

People who may have no one to be with during the holiday period.  Perhaps they have no family. Maybe they don’t feel they have friends. Perhaps they are at the age where everyone has left and all they have are memories of how wonderful things used to be when they were younger.

Maybe things aren’t going well in their life due to work situations, health, money, fears about loved ones or they just don’t feel they fit in and everyone is having one big, joyous party but them.

Even if you’re not a Christian. Even if you’re not religious. That sense of being alone will be intensified during those few weeks.

As Empaths, we are particularly vulnerable to those energies.

As December started, I started to see more and more people comment that they felt something bad was happening and they were feeling down without any obvious reason.

I believe they are picking up on those many others who feel alone.

The holiday season is a very big time for depression and many Empaths can’t wait for it to be done with so things can get back to normal.

For those of you who feel this pain, just remember you are not alone. There are many others out there who feel the same way, and many others who endure what seems like a torturous few weeks.

Just know that there are many ways to connect and support each other such as Empath forums, blogs or chat rooms.

I also have a free ad-free chatroom for this specific purpose. It has been open for the past five or so years. You don’t even need to register to login. You can just type in a name and join as a guest.

This is one of my gifts and services to the Empath community, so if you feel like trying to connect to others, please feel free to visit and say hi.

The room ebbs and flows with the amount of people who are there, but there are certainly people there every day, depending on the time.

Remember, you are not alone, and there is a lot of support for those who seek it.

You can find the Empath Chat Room at this link.

http://www.psi-zone.net/oldchat.html (or just click on the picture above.)

It requires Java to run (as do most chat of this kind.)

You can sign in as a guest by just typing a name into the User Name section or you can register a password protected name by using the ‘create new user account’ link underneath it.

The only rules are courtesy and validation.

Hope we get to see a few there.

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I am not an animal, I’m a human being… or am I?

English: The Phoenix Firebird Deutsch: Der Pho...

Over the years, I’ve notice that people, in general, tend to react to me in various ways.

I seem to make many of them uneasy. Some instantly hate me (even if we never spoke) and some just seem to click with me. Not too many seem to be indifference to me.

Someone made a comment to me the other day that I don’t seem human at times.

It was an interesting comment that made me think.

Fact is: I’ve never felt ‘human’. By that, I mean, I’ve never felt I’ve fitted in. Even growing up, I couldn’t connect to others. I didn’t appear to have the same type of filters my peers and family did.

I didn’t have the same interest or awareness that other appeared to have. I spent most of the time in my mind and was often yelled at for being oblivious. (As though yelling was going to change that.)

As I grew older, I tried to fit in, but it just looked awkward and I felt there was always this invisible barrier between me and everyone else. I was always the odd person out and never invited to parties or to hang out with others.

When I did try to make the effort to mix, it just didn’t work.

I could put it down to my family life, which was traumatic, but lots of others had that, too, and they functioned with their peers just fine.

I made friends once I hit 16 years of age and seemed to be accepted more, however I still did not fit in. In fact, it got worse. I was labelled as weird, but at the same time, more and more people were drawn to me.  Some of them were almost obsessed with me.

Throughout it all, I never felt like I belonged. I felt terribly alone, and was always on the lookout for soul family members. That is: people who were not my blood family, but connected to me.

I don’t know how, but I knew they were out there, but how I was to find them eluded me.

When it comes down to it, I don’t think I feel what being human would feel like. I don’t experience lust and addictions, (unless you count chocolate). I have no interest in clubs, pubs, drinking, drugs, gangs, groups, etc. I don’t even see death in the same way others do.  Never have.

I did try. I would go to parties, joined my friends at nightclubs, tried discos (back in the 70s) and even went to a pub or two.

All were torture.

It’s hard for an Empath to describe what it’s like, but imagine yourself in a plastic bubble that is being buffeted by high winds from all direction. Add to that an inflatable hood that’s over your head, and the pressure is pumped up too high.  So you feel blocked off but overwhelmed. You can’t really function and the best you can do is nod and smile when someone tries to talk to you.

That’s how it is for me. It’s doubly worse because I didn’t have any interest in being in those places in the first place, but thought I should try them. I thought, hey, maybe it will be fun. It wasn’t. All I wanted to do was get the hell out at the first opportunity.

I always wondered to myself, do people actually enjoy these things? Are they really having a good time? What draws them back night after night? I didn’t understand back then and I still don’t understand today.

I’m sure I’m not alone here. There are people who class themselves as Otherkin and some who believe they are Starseeds.  And though I’ve never seen myself as those things, I certainly fit most of the signs they mention.

Being human is more than just being in a human body. At least, that’s what I feel.

How many reading this have felt the same way? Please feel free to comment.

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I had this experience the other day or did I…?

Fraser Illusion

Experiences.

We are so ready to dismiss them.

Sometimes you experience something that feels very strong at the time, but when you come away from it, you wonder if you were just making it all up or you were mistaken.

I get this a lot. In fact, I can imagine my guides’ frustration as I tend to go back and forth on experiences which seem to fade in my memory almost as soon as they are done.

Why?

Maybe it’s because I have a really poor memory or part of me still has trouble accepting that the unbelievable is real. Or perhaps it’s fear that my ego is out of control and making it all up.

Either way, it’s frustrating: Very frustrating.

My own experiences are so unreal that after the event that I can’t even tell people about them. It’s as though I shift into another frame of mind.

What feels so compelling at the time will feel like someone who is out for attention.

I have to wonder, though: Can I afford to keep this up? Personally, I don’t think so. Personally, I feel that it’s time to stop doubting and just lay my cards on the table.

What bothers me  is that I’ve seen so many others do the same.

What they tell others seemed like rubbish to me. I’m not even sure if  they did experience something or if they just really just fooled themselves into believing their story.

Their stories just didn’t sound real. Or ring true.

While I didn’t sneer or call them out on those things, it did hurt their credibility, at least in my eyes and for those around them.

Then, on the other hand, there are certainly plenty of people for whom I accepted their stories and experiences without a second thought.

What is the difference between those I believe and those I don’t?

I feel, that in the end, it comes down to if you feel the resonance of truth behind their words.

As an Empath, I can sense if something is true or not. If it isn’t true, I will feel anger, antsy and extreme annoyance. (For instance, something I felt about a recently departed so called psychic and many who are still living and in the same line of work.)

In the end, you can only tell your story and trust that those who hear it will listen to their feelings and judge if it’s true or not.

I was going to write about an experience I had last week end, but ended up heading in another direction. So I’ll leave that for another entry.

So, how do others handle this conundrum? Do you believe what you experiences? Do you feel you can tell others? Have people believed you?

Please feel free to comment.

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Empath Series: 30 Traits of an Empath by Just Be – Trait 3 Picking up on feelings or what station and I on?

English: Robert Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions

A while ago, I came across an amazing blog called 30 Traits of an Empath which covered many more traits than I come across before. They were written in a very clear and succinct way.  

I approached the author, a very humble person, to see if she or he (I can’t be sure on the gender) would give me permission to discuss them with my guides and post them here. I was told that I may.

The traits will be presented in their original form and if you wish to see the entire list, (and if you haven’t, I really recommend that you do) you can do so here.

As always my guide’s responses are in italics.

 3.     Feeling others emotions and taking them on as your own: This is a huge one for Empaths. To some, they will feel emotions off those near by and with others they will feel emotions from those a vast distance away, or both. The more adept Empath will know if someone is having bad thoughts about them, even from a great distance.

This is essentially what defines an Empath. We can generally sense how people feel about us, even if what they show and what they think are two very different things.

The further removed you are from the person or the situation, the less likely you are to pick up their feelings.

That means that the more something or someone affects you, the stronger you will feel it.

This can be especially apparent at work. I could always tell when things were being done behind my back. I would always get a great sense of anxiety on the way home and sure enough, the next day, I would have received a nasty e-mail from someone, or find out someone had been attacking me. In all cases, the attacks were unjustified and unwarranted, especially as these people had nothing to do with me in my day to day job, and my work was always done quickly and to a very high standard.

My guides did not take kindly to those attacks either. They eventually took action.

You have some very protective guides. As you said, they don’t take kindly to attacks on you that you did not initiate. You will also notice that even though these people did exactly what they accused you of doing, you were the only one targeted. Also note that you were the only one trying to help people (and at times save their lives) at work. It is an oddity that, in this world, helping others is actively resisted by many.

However, what we want to discuss here is why we sense what others feel.

So, why?

We are all connected because we are one soul. Even though it is split into infinite aspects, the same energy still flows through it.

Now, that does not mean you will sense everything all at once. That’s not possible, or even healthy, unless you are on a much higher vibrational level.

What it does mean, though, is that the more you resonate with something, the more you will feel it.

Look upon people as transmitters. You are the receiver, and they are the station generating their thoughts and their feelings.

The only things you will pick up on are those you are tuned into. Now, it’s possible to have a broad range of frequencies that you can pick up on, but even that would be considered small considering that the range is infinite.

The more relevant and important something is to you, the stronger you will pick up on it. If a loved one is having a hard day, chances are, you, as an empath, will sense this.

If they are having a rough day and it’s due to you, then  you will certainly sense it very strongly.

If it’s an acquaintance, you can still pick up on their feelings, but generally only when you focus on it.

If someone is plotting behind your back, that information is important and relevant to you, so you will certainly feel something is going on.

In short, the further removed you are from the situation, the less likely you are to feel it.

But don’t some people feel everything all the time?

Not everything. They feel what they resonate with. If they resonate with fear, grief, trauma or anything that’s negative, they will most certainly pick up on all those things around them. Once again, it’s what you are attuned to. What frequency are you open to.

If someone has experienced danger and trauma in their past, they will always be open to such things because they will be trying to sense potential danger.

I will tell you this, though. The stronger the energy, the more likely people will pick up on it. Even non Empaths.

Great traumatic events, such as 9/11 was felt strongly around the world. Many psychics felt something horrible was going to happen weeks before it occurred. It was a major event.

The problem is, you can feel something is going to happen, but you can’t always work out what.

In the end, all you can do is send healing and positive energies to those feelings, and know they will help.

As an Empath, you are powerful. Enough Empaths sending positive energy and love to those they see as negative could heal this world and it wouldn’t take long.

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