Category: Coping with Empathy

Posted on

Empath series: More on psychic burnout or how many hats do I have here?

Image-1 (6)One of the things that contribute to psychic burn out are the requests for help that I get on a pretty regular basis.

For instance, I get frequent requests for help by e-mail.

I would say, they would come at the rate of around four to six a month, and while not very many in the overall scheme of things, each one does take a fair enough of time to deal with as I will answer all mail I get.

Some of them are just thank you for doing what you do, e-mails, and those are always wonderful to get.

However, most are people asking for help on some level.

The type of requests I get  generally fall into the below categories.

–          People who are in real trouble and need help now.

–          People who have genuine questions about experiences that have happened to them.

–          Those who want answers to somewhat frivolous questions

–          People who want answers to questions that can’t be answered.

–          Those who ask the same question over and over until they get the answer they are looking for.

Let’s look at them one at a time.

People who are in real trouble and need help now

This is something that can’t be ignored. Sometimes, it is a matter of life and death, and I can feel this, so I will respond as soon as I can.  Sometimes I can help the person in one reply, but more often than not, it can be a long term project until you help get their life turned around. Generally, though, it can be a very rewarding correspondence.

Contribution to psychic burn out: 1-2 out of 10

People who have genuine questions about experiences that have happened to them.

I get these ones the most. People have had experiences they can’t quite explain and are not sure what to do with them. Many of these are things like soul calls or what might be a psychic attack. I try to answer them best I can. 95% of these types of e-mails are one-offs, and I never hear from them again after I answer. As a rules, I often enjoy answering these types of questions.

Contribution to psychic burn out: 1-2 out of 10

Those who want answers to somewhat frivolous questions.

I get these occasionally and it’s generally someone who has some relationship issue that they want answered. As a rule, these e-mails tend to be very long, and (sometimes a little rambling) so it takes more time, and energy to get through it, and then work out what the question is, and what answer (if any) can be given. The relationships in question are about potential ones, and not ones that they are already in.

Personally, I find those types the hardest to answer as I don’t have clue what is going through the mind of the other party. Most of the time I don’t get any answers. Sometimes, I do, but that’s more the exception.

Contribution to psychic burn out:  6 out of 10

People who want answers to questions that can’t be answered.

I get this from time to time and I simply just don’t have answers, other than generic advice for someone. I’ve had some e-mails sit in my inbox for almost a year before I finally get something.

General rule is: If I don’t feel a flow in answering a question, then it’s a very bad idea to force it and I hate giving bullshit, generic answers, that anyone can give.

Clearly, I feel bad when I can’t give an answer because part of me feels that I should be able to, but on the other hand, I’m not the repository of information. Yes, I do get a lot of things that flow easily from me, but there are times when I feel a great resistance, and pursuing any answer will cause a massive drain on my energies.

In fact, trying to do something that doesn’t flow tends to be the biggest drain on psychic energies.

Contribution to psychic burn out: 8-9 out of 10

Those who ask the same question over and over until they get the answer they are looking for.

This type is the most frustrating. No matter how many times you give someone an answer, they will come back asking the same question in a different form. They will also ignore whatever you’ve just said, and also ignore any questions you’ve asked them.

The most frustrating thing with this type of person is that they are demanding, ungracious, and seem to think that you owe them something.

Generally, the answers they need to hear are not the answers they want to hear. In the end, the responsibility for knowing what is going on, or resolving their issues is their responsibility.

The problem with drain occurs when there is no equivalent energy exchange. You’ve put all you’ve got into helping this person, but you don’t receive anything in return.

Contribution to psychic burn out: 9-10 out of 10

Now, being altruistic, I would just love to help everyone all the time and fix up their lives for them, and answer all their questions, but I’ve found that it’s just not possible, at least, not without making myself very sick.

In the end, there is little choice but to shut down for a while and look after yourself.

Next: Should we charge for our services?

Posted on

Empath Series – Bach flower remedy: More on Elm or what else does it do?

English elm tree, Ulmus procera, at the Morton...

I thought I’d continue on with the remedy Elm today.

There are many levels to each remedy, and Elm certainly is no exception.

If anyone has any requests on what remedy can help what, let me know and I’ll feature it sooner than later.

The Symptoms of an Elm type:

  • Temporarily loss of confidence in doing a job one is capable of.
  • Despondency.
  • Feels overwhelmed by too many tasks.
  • Exhaustion
  • A sense of panic that there is too much to do.
  • Self-esteem may be affected.

The Elm type is one who is very capable of doing a job, and doing it well. They have tenacity, endurance, and intelligence.

Sometimes they stress because they suddenly feel they cannot accomplish the task set before them.

This can be due to too much pressure, or exhaustion. 

Often an Elm type can be heard to say ‘I don’t know how I’m going to get this done.’, however, they always manage to get it done in the end, and breathe a sigh of relief… until the next time, which is often the next day.

Parents who are trying to look after their children often feel exhausted, and as there is no foreseeable solution (as you can’t exactly shut your children out, nor would you really want to) it’s a daily battle.

Also, there is the carer who looks after their sick relatives, and has no time for their own lives. So much to do, and so little time to get it done in.

Elm can be a great help in these type of circumstances. 

This remedy is especially useful when you have too many tasks coming in and too many interruptions.

The empath has another level to consider. That is being overwhelmed by many feelings at the same time. This may happen in crowds or parties or even world events such as elections, disasters or incidences where emotions run high. It’s made even worse when you have several friends who are all going through a bad time.

One of the traits of an empath is that they can’t handle being at parties, in a mall or at a large festival or celebration, such as new year’s eve, where alcohol and energies fly about like there’s no tomorrow.

Elm is the remedy that helps you cope with all waves of things that threaten to overwhelm you. Taking Elm will help you cope with the stress and the feeling of panic and the belief that you can’t cope. It will aid you in calming and centring your emotions and thoughts and get through the busy times where too much is really going on.

Related articles
Posted on

Empath Series – Bach flower remedy: Elm – The remedy for being overwhelmed or I dropped the eggs.

elmOne of the complaints from Empaths that I hear a lot is that they often feel overwhelmed by too many feelings and emotions.

So much so, it drives them nuts. It is a very real problem, and causes all kinds of issues, including psychic burnout.

You might liken it to one of those old egg catching games from the early 1980s. Eggs would come from four different directions, and you would catch them. Over the course of the game, they would get faster and faster. Let three eggs fall and it was game over.

Depending on your skill and stamina, you could last a long time but eventually fatigue would kick in, and you’d drop the eggs, normally in rapid succession.

To take it a step further, it also can be likened to doing too many jobs at work when you’re short staffed, or understaffed. Unless you are amazingly skilled, you will eventually hit a point where you suddenly no longer are coping, and just going through the motions.

Mistakes happen and you collapse into a heap, exhausted and sick.

230px-MickeyMouse

This is what it can be like for the Empath on a daily basis. They are hit by too many energies all at once and they go into a toxic, psychic overload where it literally hurts to even think.

To make matters worse, the people around them tend to get angry that their demands aren’t being met, and put additional pressure on the Empath. If there is any protest, they will ask to ignore everyone… but themselves.

Psychic burnout can and often does lead to long term illnesses and mental breakdowns.

Fortunately for the Empath, the Bach Flower Remedy, Elm, will help with those feelings of too much, too soon, too overwhelming.

When taking it, the sense of panic and exhaustion lifts, and a sense of calm and organization tends to take its place.

Elm is a remedy worth keeping in the Empath’s first aid kit. It also works well with Oak (when someone is pushed past their limits) and Olive (long and short term exhaustion.)

It’s saved my bacon on a number of occasions!

Related articles
Posted on

Empath Series – Psychic attacks. More ways to ward off attacks or should I pay for help?

This picture depicts the seven major Chakras w...

Psychic defense. Final thoughts.

Chakras.

One of the things I’ve noticed with people who are under psychic attack is that their chakras (the body’s energy centres) are way too open.

When a chakra is in that state, too much energy flows in and it can be overwhelming. The high level empath will often be vulnerable because their third eye will be over active and I believe our empathic powers come from that chakra.

You can balance your chakras, and adjust them by visualizing a lotus flower turning anti-clockwise with the petals closing.

I won’t get into the details here, but there are website that are dedicated to how to do this, complete with what colours to use, and what sounds resonate with the chakras.

Smudging.

Burning white sage is said to be very effective at clearing negative energies. This is called smudging, and can be used to clear a house or your aura.

Paying psychics for protection.

I’m sure there are plenty of people and so called psychics that will tell you that you are under a curse or under attack, and they will happily remove it… for a price.  Beware of those people. They will happily milk you of your hard earned money without producing any real results.

Never pay anyone to protect you from a psychic attack or remove an evil spell from you!. Those who do it for money are unlikely to have the power to help in the first place and more likely than not, have not even picked up on if you really are under attack. It may be just a lucky guess!

I remember once I visited L.A. and out of interest, I visited this psychic lady who advertised on the street. She told me people at work were plotting against me, and if I had faith and trust in her, we could work together and overcome it. I nodded in agreement while thinking, if she’s that good, you’d think she’d know I’m only here for the day. She was clearly a con artist trying to draw me in by methods of fear. In all probability, the work place will contain people who give you trouble so it’s a high chance of success of them guessing right.

Even if they are genuine, I believe that it’s not actually the money that reduces your vibrations or ability to heal, but your intentions and ego. If your intention is to make money, then so shall it be, but normally at the cost of your ability to heal. If your intention is to heal, then so you shall, but you might not automatically make money. It very much depends on what your attitude is towards money. Is it something ‘bad’ or is it simply a tool to help get what you desire? (check your belief system on that subject.)

There are also psychics who are actually very good at what they do, but then, ego takes over, especially when they have great success to start with. They make the mistake of believing they are somehow better than others, and jealousy, and elitism may also come into play. They may also become vulnerable to negative entities, who then can mess with their results.

I don’t have a lot of good things to say about psychic healers. Yes, there are some out there which can indeed heal, and there are some out there who are very psychic and do have powers. My experience has been that despite their obvious powers, many of them forget they are just a channel for healing and ego and false humility sets in. Also be wary of those who call themselves ‘Master’. ‘Master is a term of separation and I believe a true Master will be humble and will not refer to himself as such, or let others call him that title.

The same goes for those who are self-proclaimed prophets. (And yet, seem to have turned that into a business.)

Finally.

There is a school of thought (which I subscribe to) that says that nothing can happen to us unless we agree to participate on some level. If you believe in this, then this means that you have agreed to the attack. The reasons why may be as simple as that these attacks make your stronger, help you to experience who you are and to grow as a person and soul.

More importantly, they can help reveal your weak points, and lead you down paths that you would never have gone down without those attacks.

I know, I certainly wouldn’t be where I am if my life had been attack free.

Psychic attacks can be a real pain, and can really bring a life to a complete stop, and perhaps even destroy it. Never give into the temptation to fight back, and try and avoid being a victim, as that just adds to the problems.

Remember, there are many ways to deal with them that are gentle and safe.

Ask for help. It will come. And when it does, make sure you listen, and take it. 

Related articles
Posted on

Empath Series – Bach Flower Remedies – Why I like them, or is this the Mary Sue of Remedies?

English: Woman looking at Bach Flower remedies...

I talk about the Bach Flower Remedies a lot. You might call it an obsession, and perhaps you’d be right.

But there is a good reason for that. They do work, and, choosing the right ones can perform what seems like miracles.

Going into details about the remedies, and the knowledge I’ve gained, is something I will be doing over the course of time.

There are thirty eight of them (not including the more famous Rescue Remedy ® and Rescue Cream. ®

I will look at all of them over time, but let’s just quickly discuss they I love them so much.

They are non-toxic.

They are non-addictive.

You cannot overdose or take the wrong ones. You simply will feel no effects if you do not need them.

They heal the cause of the problems, not the symptoms.

They are cruelty free.

Because they are vibrational in nature, they do not interfere with other medications or other forms of treatment. And by vibrational, I mean they heal on a level that is emotional / spiritual… and yes, I know that sounds newagey, airy fairy, castle in the sky stuff, but take me from me, it’s a fact.

They are easy to take.

They are cheap. One bottle can cost around 8 dollars if bought online, and can last for literally years. The use-by date generally is 10 years, though they can last indefinitely if the alcohol preserving them is good quality.

They work either ingested orally or rubbed on pressure points, such as your wrists. (wonderful if you can’t tolerate alcohol.)

The healing they provide is of a permanent nature. Once you are healed, you stay healed, until life and its events distresses you again.

While they are designed to be easy to self-diagnose, the skill lies on knowing what the cause of the problem is. That is not always obvious. Experience and knowing oneself is the key here.

They work on plants, animals and children.

They are a complete healing system.

They can work within moments. The more you take them, the more attuned you become, and the quicker the results.

The only downside is that you cannot mix too many of them together at once. Conventional wisdom says that you should not mix more than seven at a time.

I say that four is optimum, and they should be remedies that complement each other.

The good news is that I discovered that you can break the seven remedy limit if you take them one at a time instead of mixing them. There is no limit to how many you can use them.

Not only can you cure depression, but you can cure other conditions. For instance, I have used them to stop asthma.

The theory is that by treating the cause, you heal the problem.

Dr. Bach said: Treat the patient, not the dis-ease.

Personally, I don’t think I would be able to function without them in my life. They have pulled me from the brink way too often, and I’m sure it would have taken years of intense therapy to otherwise recover.

As I said, I will cover them all, but in the meantime, if anyone has questions, please ask and I will answer them.

Related articles
Posted on

Empath Series: Three tips to help cope with being an Empath or I have to do what?

Showerhead

Being an Empath is not an easy road. The higher level you are, the more overwhelmed, and challenged you may feel. The below are some tips on what you can do to cope.

 

Take a shower.

This is a very simple technique, but it can help enormously. Take a shower or a bath. Water helps wash away the psychic pollution that you have accumulated during the day. Stand or lie in it, and imagine light showering you and all the days takings being washed away.

I can’t cope without my nightly shower.

On the subject of baths, it’s really important that you rinse off first before taking a bath. Water is programmable, and is able to take on the vibrations of what is put into it. (Water is amazing stuff!)

If you don’t rinse off first, you will bath in a tub full of the psychic pollution that you are trying to get rid of. So, quickly have a shower, imagine the darkness flowing away, and enjoy your bath. I recommend a packet full of Epson salts and 7 drops of the Lavender essential oil.

Do something physical.

Running, walking, sports, Tai-Chi, yoga,, etc. This can help greatly. Do what makes you feel good. When you feel good, you will be more in your body.

And yes, I know that when you’re tired, it’s hard to get started, and it’s the last thing you want to do. Even a five minute walk will help.

My partner’s dog ensures that I get out a few times a week. 🙂

Avoid dramas

One of the things I had to do to help gain control over my empathy was to stop feeding my dramas. The Celestine Prophecy, a fictional book by James Redfield, put four main drama’s into a nutshell.

Aloof – Staying distant from others emotionally.
Interrogator – Finding fault with what others say or do.
Intimidator – Aggressive behaviour in order to dominate others
Poor me – Being a victim.

This is done to have energy focused on ourselves, though the results end up being negative rather than positive.

I used to be aloof and then fall into poor me mode. Even though I certainly didn’t enjoy it, and even though they never worked for any length of time, I never saw myself as being in a drama. To my mind, I was the misunderstood soul battling against all odds in a world that didn’t understand, much less care. In truth, no one really notices that much when you are aloof. They just assume that you’re not interested. Poor me / victim people are generally avoided as they can be very draining

The thing with dramas is that they are hard to accept while you are in them. What’s more, even if you know you are in them, you may not care and it just annoys and anger you for someone to point it out. It was not until I made the decision to consciously stop entering into them that things really started to change for me.

One of the keys was being honest with myself. I would often pretend one motivation while really secretly harbouring another. And yes, my reasons were always sound, but they were not the real reasons I would do things. Ultimately, such behaviour ends up being counterproductive and denying your real reasons for doing something, even to yourself, does not make them any less real or valid.

This can be dangerous behaviour for an empath to indulge in because you are unwittingly creating chinks in your boundaries.

Boundaries are the limits you set for yourself. They are very important, especially for an empath, because once you’ve set them, and more importantly, enforce them, then you will start to know where you end and others begin. Limits such as, for example, refusing to be drawn into someone’s drama. Refusing to take on the guilt of someone else. Not getting involved in pointless gossip. Those are just examples. What you choose to define is completely up to you, but whatever you choose, do your best to enforce it.

By setting boundaries, you are also defining yourself, and that is why it’s important to be as honest with yourself as possible. Let all your actions define who you see yourself as, and who you wish to be.

Related articles