I get a lot of questions from people who say: I’ve just found out I’m an Empath. What do I do?
There are an abundance of resources and support groups for the Empath, but I thought we’d look at what would be helpful for any Empath to know when they discover they are one.
Personally, I had no clue how to write this, so as usual, when stuck for ideas, I asked my guides to assist.
Their responses are in italics
So, what are the first things any newly discovered Empath should do?
We’ll look at seven steps that may well help any new Empath. While they are not in any particular order, they will be presented as one leading to the other.
Acceptance
Trusting in yourself.
Research
Self-awareness
Practicing your abilities
Grounding
Creating
Today we’ll look at Acceptance and Trusting in yourself.
Yes
Step one:
Acceptance.
One of the main problems with finding out that you’re an Empath is the doubt one feels. The first question they generally have is: Am I really an Empath?
The answer, as a rule, is, yes, you are. This is certainly true for those who fit the traits of an Empath. However, to their mind, it seems like such a big thing that they can’t comprehend it.
It’s as though you suddenly discover you have psychic powers (and you do) but in your mindset, this is something that only occurs in movies and fantasy fiction.
Comprehending that you are actually an Empath is hard because the first thought that tends to go through one’s mind is: It’s only me. I’m no one special. There must be some mistake!
I’m sure not everyone thinks that way, though.
Some are born self-aware and some have that self-awareness drummed out of them by their parents, peers and the religion they are born into. Generally, if you tell your ‘non-psychic’ friends that you may have some abilities, they will be prone to dismiss this, most likely saying that you are just too oversensitive. This leads to invalidation and doubt.
There is a strange perception that someone else must know more than you do, even though they aren’t living your experiences. We let other people’s points of views and belief systems overwrite our own, and thus, we, ourselves, invalidate our belief systems.
So be aware of that. No one can really tell you what you feel and experience. You need to validate that for yourself.
You don’t need outside Validation
Which brings us to the second step:
Trusting in yourself.
The biggest stumbling block with any psychic ability is that there is no trust that it is real, or that what you are feeling is correct.
It cannot be repeated often enough that your feelings are your truth. If something feels right for you, then it is right for you. If it doesn’t, and your intuition feels like it’s in panic mode, then take notice of that.
You don’t need outside validation. No amount of that will help you anyway. You will always doubt in your heart. You have to listen and trust in what you feel.
When I’m unsure of the answer, I’ll sometimes ask my guides to channel one. As usual, their response is in italics.
This dialogue also ended up being more personal than I thought it would, so if that kind of stuff does not interest you, feel free to skip it.
So, my question to you is: If past lives are not important, then why do we remember? In fact, why did you go out of the way to help me remember?
It very much depends on what your soul agenda is. Are you here to experience yourself in the presence of what is not you? If so, then it generally is not required that you remember who you are. You will experience this without knowing or remembering anything about your past or future existence. (Which is all happening now.)
So, what you’re saying is that if we want to just experience who we are, we need to forget everything so we can do this?
Yes. That is the basis of most people’s experience here. It doesn’t matter what they did or what they were before, they can choose to forget everything they ever knew and have a life that seems completely independent of everything they ever experienced. Of course, they will not remember this, so they will assume they have only one life.
Is this a good way to do such a thing? The answer is: depends. There is no right or wrong way, just what suits your purposes and soul agenda.
And some people have no other agenda than to live a life without any recall of their other ones.
You, on the other hand, are not here to just experience who you are. You have a very clear and defined agenda. In your case, it is quite important that you remember who you are, and why you are here.
I guess so. I’ve certainly got a few comments that me defining who I am, and who others are is not a good idea.
If it wasn’t what you needed to do, you simply wouldn’t be doing it. As I said, you have a very clear agenda in mind. You have a very lofty goal and you would have great difficulty achieving it without those memories. Do you think anything you’ve managed to do in the past 20 years would have been achieved if you had no clue as to how it all fitted together?
It’s possible. Things seemed to happen regardless of what I wanted. Especially back then.
Then you reached a point where you could proceed no further until you began to understand exactly who you were. You were even told this at the time (though you rejected it out of hand).
Okay, so whether it’s important for us to remember past lives depends on what we are here to do then?
Yes. As we said, you have very specific goals and agendas. You also have stated that you do not wish to return so you need to get it right ‘now’ and not stumble about blindly.
So… what exactly am I hear to do that is so important?
Your main agenda is to help people remember who they are. Give their power back to them and have them understand that they have the ability to create the life they desire. Too many feel they have no control and have to live with the hands they feel they are dealt with. Little do they realize that they choose those very hands they believe to be random.
How does me knowing who I am help here? Surely I can just read this stuff in books and pass on it on to others.
You can’t read in books what you have remembered. You can’t find that information online. It simply doesn’t exist at this point of time. No, you can only impart it once you remember it. And on that subject, when are you going to start doing so?
I thought I was already doing that. Isn’t that what this blog and my websites are all about?
In part. That is general information. The knowledge you can pass on can help explain why this world is in such a mess. It can explain why things happened the way they did. It can help people understand some of the history and what can be done to create a higher version of this life.
But you hold back on doing this. Why?
Maybe because the information is so out there, I would doubt it would be believed in any way shape or form.
So, you’re deciding for others if they are going to believe it not? Fear is never a good enough reason not to do something. Yes, your information might appear to be ‘out there’ but think about this. People, who are meant to find it, will find it. They can only find it if you’re ready to put it there.
Empath information is wonderful, but you have other things you can share. It’s time that people understood that they are not the only ones experiencing the things that you do. You can give them this gift. Don’t worry about how it will look. People will make their own decisions regardless of what you write. Some will accept it. Some will reject it. That’s not for you to decide. That is their own life-path. Your job is to make the information available. What people choose to do with it is then up to them.
Okay, well, I think I’ve gotten somewhat off the topic here.
No, the topic is why remember past lives? In order for you to do what you must do, you need to remember. It’s that simple.
So, to sum it up, it depends on the individual and what they wish to achieve?
Exactly. Hence, do not tell another what they should or should not try, especially if it feels right for them. You have to right to do what you need to do and they have the right to ignore you.
That sounds like an open invitation for chaos.
All actions have consequences. Always be mindful of that. If your actions do not reflect who you are, and where you going, then you are best not doing them. If you wish for chaos, act chaotically, but remember, you will end up in a world that reflects that. If you wish for peace, then act peacefully, and you will end up in the world that reflects that.
Choose wisely.
Please share this with those who may find it useful.
A while ago, I came across an amazing blog called 30 Traits of an Empath which covered many more traits than I come across before. They were written in a very clear and succinct way.
I approached the author, a very humble person, to see if she or he (I can’t be sure on the gender) would give me permission to discuss them with my guides and post them here. I was told that I may.
The traits will be presented in their original form and if you wish to see the entire list, (and if you haven’t, I really recommend that you do) you can do so here.
As always my guide’s responses are in italics.
4. Watching violence, cruelty or tragedy on the TV is unbearable: The more attuned an Empath becomes the worse it is and may make it so they eventually have to stop watching TV and reading newspapers altogether.
Personally, I find watching the news pretty frustrating, especially since it’s designed to emotionally manipulate and enrage you. I tend to catch the headlines, but I don’t really go further than that. On some level, it’s important to know what is happening out there and where everyone’s attention is.
Being an Empath means that when public sentiment and emotions are high, you are more likely to pick up it and become vulnerable.
It also depends if you’re attuned to such things or not. You could have absolutely no resonance with anything that is happening that day, and so you will not sense it.
Remember, Empaths tend to pick up on those things they relate to on some level. Sympathy pains are simply pain you resonate with in your own body. There are fears and deep seated traumas that can make them manifest when someone else brings them up. They can also be health issues that are not yet detected or are unresolved. You can take them as warnings or cautions that you are vulnerable to the same thing that is being discussed.
Weren’t we discussing the news?
The discussion is about resonating with what you are seeing on TV or when reading the newspaper. This, in effect, is about sympathy pains. Something many Empaths are vulnerable to.
Okay. I was expecting to get into a dialogue about how media is manipulative and should be treated with caution.
There isn’t much that doesn’t fall into that category. Most things you come across are manipulative in some way. This is because people are trying to achieve an end result and will craft their words and ideas in order to do that. So, yes, you can certainly suggest this is true for the media, but don’t separate them out to be the bad guys. They are simply providing a service that the public ask for. Otherwise they would not be doing it in the first place. Business goes where the money and demand is.
Of course, this is true for controlled media, too. In countries where it’s controlled by the government of the day, the media is especially notorious for trying to manipulate people. One way or another, they will succeed, though not always with the intended results.
When it comes to newspapers, televisions, movies and any other kind of communication media, you will often find that the more sensitive you become, the choosier you will become about what you decide to watch.
I know there are some movies or plots that always bring an emotional tear to my eye, even though the actual plot is contrived and paper thin.
That’s because you resonate to them on some level. You’re not reacting to a well-crafted story, you’re reacting to a deep longing, or possibly trauma that may even be based in a past life.
This is true for most people, empathic or not. They will watch the most contrived product because it’s a reflection of their own desires and experiences. If you can reach people on an emotional level, you can sell just about anything.
So back to the original point. Violence, news, and so on are hard for an Empath to cope with.
The only other point I will make is that many Empaths actually can sense when something isn’t true. So if they read or see it in the news, it will spark their sense of outrage and possible anger. No one likes being lied to of told things they know aren’t true, and an Empath will pick up on that pretty quickly.
So avoid the media?
No, not entirely. It’s worth knowing what is going on. Just don’t put any emotional investment into it. It is what it is, and is a general reflection of the current social situation. People love their drama. You don’t have to be part of it. You just need to be aware so you can act accordingly.
A while ago, I came across an amazing blog called 30 Traits of an Empath which covered many more traits than I come across before. They were written in a very clear and succinct way.
I approached the author, a very humble person, to see if she or he (I can’t be sure on the gender) would give me permission to discuss them with my guides and post them here. I was told that I may.
The traits will be presented in their original form and if you wish to see the entire list, (and if you haven’t, I really recommend that you do) you can do so here.
As always my guide’s responses are in italics.
2. Being in public places can be overwhelming: Places like shopping malls, supermarkets or stadiums, where there are lots of people around, can fill the Empath with turbulently vexed emotions that are coming from others.
Personally, I don’t mind shopping malls and supermarkets. I’ve not really been to a stadium. At least, not in the past 30 years.
I don’t like some crowded places, such as the city on new year’s eve.
I really detest parties and night clubs. That’s like hell on earth for me.
It very much depends on the type of energy that is around you. When people gather together en masse, it creates a strong field that the Empath can easily pick up on. If the energy resonates with the Empath, they will feel at home. If not, then they will try to exit the first chance they can do it politely.
Now if you’re a sensitive type of person, you will find that alcohol fueled parties might well be difficult to handle because alcohol often unleashes certain emotions that are often repressed.
If the Empath is already sensitive towards such things, they will find they are magnified.
I can’t say I noticed that, myself. I found it was more… I didn’t fit in and I also felt overwhelmed.
Yes, that is another thing worth understanding. Empaths will often feel like they don’t belong to such groups. These are the same people who can’t seem to connect socially. Yes, it’s true that they work fine one on one, but the bigger the crowd, the harder it becomes.
And why is that?
It’s due to actually not really belonging to certain groups. Some people are here to help, but that does not mean they are part of the people who they are helping. Now, let’s take you, personally.
You don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, enjoy parties, clubbing, demeaning people, gossip and sport like activities.
Those are all common interests that people share. You would rather go to a quiet place, have a coffee and a bite to eat and talk about spiritual topics, or something light-hearted.
While you might not find many people who you can connect to on those levels, you can certainly be sure that you are not the only one who feels that way. There are millions upon millions of others who can’t connect in this fashion. Yet, in spite of the numbers, they are sprinkled amongst the billions of people in this world. It is not unusual for someone to go through their entire life and never realize they have met someone else who feels the way they do. This may be especially due to other Empaths trying to fit in and pretend they have the interests that others have.
Add to that places that have a concentration of such people, you may not be able to function. Especially if it is filled with smoke, club music, noise, drugs and drunkenness. You will be overwhelmed with the very energies that you spend your time avoiding. You will not know what to do, let alone even function.
Many will dismiss you as a ‘party pooper’. Some will look at you and wonder what your problem is. It would be rare for anyone to realize that this is hell for the Empath, and the best thing they can do for them is to take them outside and away from the crowd.
That is also why other kinds of crowded places may not be a problem for the Empath. Malls, plaza’s, places of fun, movie theatres, etc, generally bring out the good energy in people. Some people love shopping. Others enjoy the entertainment.
Come Christmas time or a major holiday, there will be many who are pushed for time, stressed, short of money and feeling obliged to make a purchase. Their emotions will be running high, especially when they are with a family of tired and cranky children. That is when it’s wise to avoid such crowds.
I can’t help but wonder… do people really enjoy parties? What do they get out of it?
Being with others who they can connect to. Isn’t that enough? They may not even be happy or enjoy being there, but they are with others and they can try and forget about feeling lonely and alone, at least for a little while.
So, any advice on how to cope in crowds?
Remember, the key to controlling your empathy is being grounded. The key to being grounded is your self-confidence. If you are not feeling like you belong somewhere, you will certainly not enjoy the experience. You will feel like an intruder or an outsider.
Most Empaths who can’t tolerate crowds stay as long as they feel is politely possible, and then make their exit. They believe they will offend the host, or maybe the guest, so they hang around.
Sometimes it’s just wise to explain that you don’t function well in such situations, and you need to leave. If they don’t understand or accept this, then really, you’re better off without such people in your life. You will always feel alone, even in the most crowded place.
Yes, but remember, when you’re with friends, or with a partner, that’s not always an option. And that does not mean those people aren’t good for you in other circumstances.
That is so, however, remember they should allow for such things. If you explain you can’t cope, then that is just you being you. If they can’t tolerate that, then you are better off without them.
Remember, the more you are you, the more others will find you because you are what they are looking for.
As always, I will suggest a Bach Flower Remedy that helps.
Elm is the remedy for feeling overwhelmed, and that certainly can be useful when you’re hit with all those energy from a crowd.
A while ago, I came across an amazing blog called 30 Traits of an Empath which covered many more traits than I come across before. They were written in a very clear and succinct way.
I approached the author, a very humble person, to see if she or he (I can’t be sure on the gender) would give me permission to discuss them with my guides and post them here. I was told that I may.
The traits will be presented in their original form and if you wish to see the entire list, (and if you haven’t, I really recommend that you do) you can do so here.
As always my guide’s responses are in italics.
Knowing: Empaths just know stuff, without being told. It’s a knowing that goes way beyond intuition or gut feelings, even though that is how many would describe the knowing. The more attuned they are the stronger this gift becomes.
I have to say, this is one of the biggest ones for Empaths. The Knowing is something that just happens. I discussed this a little a while back when I said that people have a window to fool an Empath, and then somehow, the Empath just knows if they are being lied to or not. You can’t fool them after that.
I’ve experienced this Knowing a lot. It’s a feeling that, in spite of all the evidence to the contrary, you know the truth.
I’ve read about this kind of thing happening to people whose partner cheat on them. They suddenly just know.
Unfortunately, this is never enough to convince others. Your sense of truth rarely convinces another that you are right and other people are wrong.
This is one of the abilities that Empaths have. It works because they are able to connect to the collective consciousness that all are a part of.
Remember, there is really only one soul, and everything is an aspect of it. All that is, is already part of your being.
The illusion is that you are separate from everything else, and this is so we can experience ourselves in relation to those other parts.
But it is an illusion, and those who are Empathic will be connected, in spite of the illusion.
The closer to the situation someone is, the more attuned they may become, and the easier they will pick up on the truth of the matter.
That might explain why I feel anger when I sense something isn’t true.
That’s an anger borne of frustration as your sense of truth is being compromised. It should be noted, though, that there is a knowing, and there is a logic that people attempt to apply to truth.
By that I mean, you will know when someone is true. It will stand alone, as is. Those who try to get to the truth, using logic, will sense the truth of the logic, and thus assume that the outcome of that logic is the truth. It doesn’t follow that this is so, though.
I’m not quite following here.
You may sense the truth of what you are focusing on. It does not necessarily follow that the outcome of that truth is true.
For instance, you might say it rains during Summer. This is true. It does not follow, though, that it will rain. Logic dictates that rain is likely, so you will sense the truth behind that, however, there may be a drought, and no rain will come.
Sensing the truth of a statement of logic, and sensing the truth of an outcome are two different things.
Also remember, that things are always changing. What you sense today may not be what you sense tomorrow. New information may be sensed and you now have an updated version of the truth.
So, how do you know when you’ve reach the final truth?
You don’t really. You will just know what is true for you at that point of time. However, generally, you will sense that you need to sense, and that is what is important here. Truth is personal, and what may be true for you, may not be true for another.
Isn’t truth just truth? If something is true, then it’s has to be true across the board, right?
Some truths are. However, as we create our own reality, others may not be. If I tell you it’s a hot day, and it’s only 20 degrees Celsius, you will not agree. To you, hot would be above 30 degrees Celsius. However, my truth is that I find 20 degrees hot.
Truth is individual because it’s relative.
Also, do not confuse truth with universal law.
So, if someone believes that the Earth is flat, that does not make it so.
Their perception is that it’s flat, and that is their truth based on the evidence presented and accepted. That is not what I’m talking about, though. Universal laws are those laws that work regardless of what you believe in. However, that’s really another topic.
So, in summary, Empaths have a Knowing because they are connected to their oneness and can pick up what is happening.
And the closer they are to the situation, the more attuned they may become.
From a Bach Flower Remedy point of view, I’ve found that Cerato, which is the remedy for intuition, to be very useful for clarifying truth and helping with intuition.
This I know, though I’m working to keep this useful for empaths in general.
It is an example. For many, death is often a catalyst for growth and awareness. They move into things that they were unlikely to do before.
There is also a belief that we must feel sad for the departed, otherwise we are a bad or uncaring person. If we do not mourn, or do not go through a certain period of time of grieving, then we may feel guilt over it.
Guilt is often a reason why we hang onto grief. We ask ourselves: how much did we really love this person if we can just move on without any sense of loss or pain. How will others view us if we are seen to ‘not care’? How do we see ourselves if we find that we don’t wish to suffer for the loss of another?
Yet, make no mistake; the departed does not need you to grieve for them. Once they reach the light, they are in bliss, and more often than not, the concerns of this world are left behind.
That does not mean they are forgotten, and when you call on your loved ones, they will come and leave many messages in many ways that they are there. Some even will manifest themselves so they can show the ones left behind that they are just fine, and they will look just beautiful.
They are fine. They are more than fine. They are home.
To those who have lost one dear to them, I promise you that you will see them again. You will be reunited, and if you both so choose, you will live more lives together for as long as you desire.
It’s one thing to know this on an intellectual level, but how do you translate this to the emotional level? How do you bring comfort to those who have lost their loved ones? Saying that they aren’t really gone doesn’t seem to be all that useful.
As I said, it is natural to feel grief for the loss of someone dear. There is also a fear that your life may never be the same, and that you cannot cope without them. They may have been tremendous support, or loved you unconditionally, or they may have been the breadwinner.
Fear is one of those emotions that is intertwined with the sense of loss. Fear for the future, fear that they won’t be able to cope alone or be capable of carrying on looking after family or children.
Death is not about the ones who have passed over, but those who are left behind.
So, how does the empath cope with death?
The key is shifting your understanding and perspective of death. Do not look upon it as something that should not have happened. If it was not meant to occur, then it would not have occurred. This does not mean you suddenly dismiss the pain, nor do you suddenly decide that it is irrelevant. It simply means that you are seeing things in a more holistic manner.
Those who you truly love will never truly leave you. They are there. They are by your side when you call, and they are helping you. You may not always feel them, but they are there.
The shift in understanding and perspective is key to coping with the sense of loss.
Do not harbour feelings of guilt of another’s death.
Do not feel that your own life is ending because someone has departed.
Do not fear that you cannot cope. You will always have what you need to make it through, and indeed thrive.
Life is about the growth and experience of the soul, and such things can be powerful catalysts.
For my own comments, I’ve found that Bach Flower Remedies can be very comforting at a time like this.
