Category: Bach Flower Remedies

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Depression Series – Anti-depressants or how depressing, they’re screwing me up.

Anneli Rufus

Anti-depressants

It’s fortunate that depression is finally recognized as a real problem.

There are help lines out there, organizations (Where I live, there is one called Beyond Blue, which is a wonderful initiative) and they are developing drugs to help us cope.

Medical treatment is still in the early stages, though, in my opinion, but at least they are doing something.

That being said, I have tried anti-depressants. I was going through a terrible time, and my partner at the time suggested I see a doctor. He prescribed them to me. I tried several types, but found they did not work for me.

What I found was that it seemed to cut me off from my empathy, and I felt like I was walking around in a vacuum. I also found that it has a negative effect on my moods and certainly didn’t like my body. It was a very unpleasant experience.

I know that anti-depressants certainly help people, but I suspect that many empaths are not doing themselves any favours by taking them.

They mask the symptoms, not heal the causes.

If you are on anti-depressants, do not go off them without medical advice. It can harm you.

As mentioned, I believe that the Bach Flower Remedies would help many with dealing with depression. Personally, I know I’d be a basket case many times over without them. For those who are interested, I will start blogging about them, and all the ways they can be used to help heal depression soon.

The remedies do work well with any other type of treatment, and this is because they don’t work on a physical level, so they are not like homeopaths, drugs, aromatherapy, and the like, each of which has their own particular set of dangers.

That being said, if you wish to try the Bach Flower Remedies, it’s important to note that they are preserved in alcohol. While the remedy itself is completely safe to take, and does not work on a physical level, some people cannot tolerate alcohol.

There are some solutions to this:

You can dilute the remedies into a dropper bottle of water, and then put 4 drops into a glass of water. The alcoholic content is said to be too small to measure.

You can rub the remedies on your wrist or temples or other pressure points. That does seem to work. My partner responds amazingly well, and she’s sensitive to alcohol.

You can try making your own remedies. There are books on that subject.

I understand that the Bach Centre is making non-alcoholic versions of the remedies. Most certainly they have put out Rescue Remedy in different forms now.

If anti-depressants are working for you, then this is a good thing. I just have spoken to too many for whom they do not work for, and they are in an even bigger mess.

Whatever you do, make sure you know exactly what you are doing. Find out as much about them as you can. This is your body and your quality of life you are dealing with.

Depression is an epidemic and not understood enough yet. But it can be cured. I’m living proof of that. (And others I’ve treated, too.)

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I’m having a bad day and I DON’T want to talk about it!

Sometimes things don’t go right. You know those days where everything seems to go wrong in clumps?

You might have had a rotten night’s sleep and the traffic was unusually bad on the way to work. Your car chooses that day to develop some problem. Your co-worker or staff rings in sick so you end up having to do their work and yours, but problems that never happened before (or since) occur when you’re at your busiest, stopping you from getting what you need to do done… and so on.

I’m sure most of us, if not all have those days.

And I’m sure that most of us are tired, grumpy and just over it by the time they get home.

All you want to do is just zone out, rest, or do something that will amuse you or make you happy.

However, there are people who want to talk to you, and that is the last thing you want to do right then. You tell them, I’m sorry, I’ve had a really crappy day and I’ll deal with this tomorrow.

Then they’ll say, do you want to talk about it? You tell them no, but they insist, saying it might help.

No, what will help is if you leave me alone, and give me time to rest and re-centre! And no, I don’t want to friggin’ talk about it today. I just want to let it go and move on!

People certainly mean well when they want to help, but unless someone has asked for that help, then it’s certainly best not to try and insist on giving it.

Probably the best thing to say to someone who’s had a bad day is: Understood. You know where I am if you need me. (End of communication.)

We are surprisingly resilient, and get over our bad days pretty fast. We know what we need to do and as long as we’re left alone to do it, we will be fine the next day.

Bad days happen and it’s all okay.

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Being ridiculed is a small price to pay for helping even one other.

As an Empath, I’ve come across a lot of strange things that I would have sworn could not be true. As a sceptic, I tend to not take things on face value. As a cynic, I tend to look between the lines. As an intuitive, I have learned to trust my feelings completely.

Logic, as much sense as it makes, never produced the results I desired. Trusting my intuition has. It has taken me places that I thought I would never go. Do and see things that I would not have done otherwise, and produced a life that is extraordinary that defies logic, and what logic would certainly defy happening.

I wonder, though, from time to time, how the other people in my life perceive me.

On one hand, I am constantly surprised by how people accept my experiences and the information I share with them.

On the other hand, there are always those who feel I’m either trying to start a cult (yeah, that’s where the money would be and I could quit this office job!) or am pretending to be something I am not.

I, myself, inwardly groan, thinking, here I go again on a certain subject, such as being an empath, type of depression and how to cure them, or Bach Flower Remedies, which I wish I had as stake in, cause I’m sure I’ve raised their sales by 1000’s of bottles.

The challenge of being yourself, in spite of the fear, is one that so many face.

It’s not easy. Anyone who has tried it knows this. The fear of public ridicule, rejection or even finding out that everything you ever thought was wrong are always at the back of your mind. (And God knows, everything I ever believed in has been shaken to the foundation a few times in my life, though, my current experiences and belief system are working as they should.)

So why do it?

Because it has to be done. If one person finds the courage to be themselves. Tell their own story, no matter how improbable or impossible it might seem, and that one person goes on to inspire others to do the same, then it is worth it.

I put myself out there so others can.

I hope it inspires those who are holding back to do so, too.

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What creates an empath?

A lot of people are empaths, but what makes them one?

Here are some thoughts about that.

 

Some people are born very sensitive to those feelings around them. Others become empaths out of necessity. 

For instance, a child that has a very traumatic childhood will develop the ability to sense others emotions so they can try and avoid dangerous situations.

This could be from the horrors of sexual abuse, or maybe physical abuse. Perhaps you might have a had a victim type parent who would constantly turn to you to unload their problems on.

Perhaps the empath grew up in a dangerous neighbourhood and had to develop a sixth sense in order to avoid trouble.

If the empath has been borne from such situations, then healing tends to be required as such people will find their life an unending living hell.

There are certainly ways to heal these things. I’ve found that the most gentle and effective way is by using Bach Flower Remedies.

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Depression series – Empaths and the holidays or Where has my holiday cheer gone to?

Holiday depression

The holiday season is very hard on empaths. This is especially true for the Christmas and new year period, where everyone feels they should be with family, out celebrating and just having a good time.

Problem is that so many people are alone. They feel like they are missing out on a party where everyone is invited but them. They feel as though they should be enjoying things, but they can’t because they have nowhere to go. No-one to turn to.

What should be a happy and blissful period becomes a wretched and miserable experience.

People get lost in the memories of the past, of better times, of loved ones lost and some view how it was with rose coloured glasses; remembering the good old days.

Multiply this by several thousand, and then by several thousand more, and you have an energy that knocks the empath for a loop during the holiday period.

They will pick up on this intense feeling of depression and hopelessness, and not know why. There will be a sense of loneliness and separation, even if they are with loved ones.

In the northern hemisphere, it’s even worse, as it is winter in many places, and the lack of sunlight contributes to depression.

Add to that the Solstices (either longest or shortest day of the year) which tends to have chaotic energies, you have a recipe for massive depression.

How do you heal such a thing? Not easily. You can’t go around to each person, and help them. Many have their pride, and many are stuck in their own dramas, and unwilling to shift.

I know, personally, I spent my fair share of birthdays, Christmases and birthdays alone. Once upon a time it used to bother me greatly, but I reached a point where I realized that it really didn’t matter. It just meant I got to do what I wanted to do, which works for me.

For the New Year, instead of feeling the need to go out and party, I’d use that as an opportunity to send positive energies to the world and hopefully help bolster it.

Perhaps that is all you can do for now. Have a group prayer. Send love and healing energies to those who need it, and know that it will reach those who need it, and are ready to receive it.

But be aware of the fact that it’s a miserable for many. This is very important. Otherwise, you will feel depressed and will have no idea why there is so much pain.

Bach Flower Remedies: 
Red Chestnut  – Concern for others
Walnut – Protection against external influences (link breaker)
Star of Bethlehem  – For shock / trauma

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Depression series – Empaths and concern for others or Why didn’t you call?

Over-concern for others.

Check-list

  • You worry about others
  • You feel bad about when others try and fail.
  • We feel anxiety when others don’t come home when expected. 

Empaths often get depressed in regards to other people. 

It might be for the person who has gone to buy a special present for someone, only to have gotten it very wrong, due to lack of knowledge. You may feel bad for them because you feel all the effort they put into it has gone to waste.  You wish things had worked out for them with all that work, and it makes you feel, sad, bad and terribly depressed.

Perhaps you might be worried about a friend or a loved one in regards to how life is going for them, or if they are doing well or not.

If we fear something is wrong with them, we, ourselves, may feel anxious, and will not be able to rest until we are reassured that all is well. We tend to experience that awful sinking feeling of anxiety in the pit of our stomach until we hear some news that reassures us.

This is especially true for empaths with children who are out late or their partner has not returned at the normal time. We immediately imagine the worst and fear that something terrible has happened.

It’s hard to disassociate ourselves from the fear to check on your feelings, as we are too attached to the outcome, and that colours what we are feeling.

Intuition works well, but if it’s tainted by our fears, it can make us feel things which aren’t true. It’s hard to step back and be objective in these kind of situations as we tend to have too much of our own selves invested in our relationships.

For some empaths, they often don’t feel good unless others are feeling good. If they are having a rough time, we will put our own happiness on hold until they are doing better.

This is not healthy as it not only hurt you, but actually makes things worse for those you are concerned about. Not only do they have to deal with their own problems, but they also have to take you into account, putting pressure on them.

I know, from personal experience, that I can’t have a bad day without everyone around me going into melt down over it. It drives me crazy. Sometimes I just want to work through things, and not have to go into damage control because of it. Sometimes I just want to have a bad day and work through my feelings.

People have bad days. People need bad days. They need those times to let out their frustration. Or maybe they just aren’t feeling well. It doesn’t really matter what the reason is, it’s important to give them space to be, and show that they are supported, without making it into something it isn’t.

Of course, being empaths, we can’t help but care.

I would suggest that the key to dealing with this is to understand that the other person does know exactly what they are doing on a soul level. Everything is as it should be; even those really crappy events that seem to crop up in one’s life. If you can know and accept this, and know it in your heart, then you can let go of the fear, and understand that they are living their life as needed.

Bach Flower Remedy: 

Red Chestnut.