Asking for payment for a service is easier said than done.
Now, I admit, I have a really hard time getting out of the mindset that I should not charge and that it is somehow bad to do so, but really, it’s not if I charge or not, it’s the quality of service that I provide.
I’m also a master at fixing computers, but I’ve had the greatest of difficulties charging for that service, too. When I did, I never felt happy doing so. (But always provided a top notch service in a very fast time.)
Also, my wage at work is okay, but really, considering my skills and knowledge and my twenty five years’ experience in a specialized industry, I should be getting twice what I do now.
I suspect my mindset on money has a lot to do with me being underpaid.
Also, If it’s okay for me to get paid a decent wage for doing a good job in a normal job, then the same should follow with other work that is done.
Having said that, I don’t feel it’s okay to be paid for doing a bad job, or pretending to do work and charging for it.
I’d rather say to someone, I can’t do this and give them their money back than potentially give them the wrong information or hurt them by misleading them.
I’ve had many readings over the years, some paid for (in my earlier years) and most offered for free.
The paid ones were never accurate, but I still ended up paying good money for them. I can’t say I ever gave it a second thought afterwards, though. Having said that, I don’t think I would have gone back a second time.
I feel that if you do charge for a service, there must be a code of ethics which is available to your client.
What it is would be up to you, but it should be stated for reassurance to both you and the client.
There is also another factor to be considered here.
One can have the attitude that they should only give but never take. However, if everyone did this, then it would be impossible to give anything because there would be no one there to take what you offer.
It is also very unbalanced.
If all you do is give, and refuse to take, other may well feel awkward and even avoid you because they just don’t feel right about taking themselves.
Also, consider that when you refuse to receive anything in return, you are denying another the chance to give back, and possibly help their own sense of flow and karma.
In the end, it’s all about balance and when things become unbalance, then it can lead to illness and other problems.
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Now, the original question I posed in the previous entry was: Does accepting money for using our psychic gifts deplete them?
I was taught that yes, it certainly does, however after many years of observation, I believe that no, it doesn’t.
As mentioned, money is a tool and there is nothing wrong with being paid for a service you provide.
But, you may ask, what about all those stories about people who lose their power once they start charging?
In my own case, in the mid 90s, in my attempt to grow and heal myself, I saw a couple of psychic healers.
At the time, it was $60.00 a session, which was a fair amount for me back then and I saw them at least once a week. (Though one was in 1995 and the other in 1996.)
Both were very impressive when I started going to them, but by the end, they made me feel like I was just a cash cow. (Though the second one I only saw her for three months.)
Nothing really got resolved and their system was set up so that no matter what you did, it could be taken as a negative or a problem to be fixed.
For instance, the first one I saw had this system where at the beginning of each session, I had to pick four cards from the Californian Flower Essence range. She used that as what needed to be done for that session.
However, as I made progress, she did not stop using it, and I realized that no matter what happened, being forced to choose four cards was always going to suggest I had problems that needed to be fixed.
She also become more invalidating and egotistical as the year went on, and in the end, my intuition screamed at me to get out and stop going.
Being an Empath, I found this very hard to do at the time as part of me felt guilty about it, and didn’t want to offend, , but one day she told me that I wasn’t a spiritual person on a spiritual path, and I knew that was my last session. After all, I had pretty much dedicated my life to the pursuit of knowledge and helping everyone I could.
As it was, I had another psychic healer who I was going to see, who happened to be an old family acquaintance who told me she could help me, and so I agreed.
In fact, while I know this lady was very psychic, it turned out that she was after my powers. She told me I was powerful and and she made several attempts to try and convince me to board with her in her house and become her student.
My intuition also gave a very strong ‘no’ to this, and she became angry and offended.
As negative as those experiences ended being, though, they were critical to my path, and timing was everything so certainly no regrets.
What it did teach me was that the more success these people seemed to have, the more their ego appeared to take over.
They could admit no wrong. They could not be told that something might not be right. They certainly weren’t happy to listen to anything I might have to say, and both would attempt to invalidate what I was feeling.
I’ve seen plenty of good psychics and healers who do charge, and they are genuine and while they certainly don’t always get it right, they are sincere, and do provide the information they need to when they need to. (On an interesting note, those people offered their readings to me for free, which was appreciated at the time.)
Being humble (not falsely humble, which is irritating), trying to help and lift others, and not separating yourself out as special and better will prevent losing any gifts and abilities you have.
If you don’t know the answer to a question, then just say so. It might not be what they want to hear, but it will be what they need to hear.
If you were wrong and they tell you, then accept it. You can justify your reading six ways from Sunday, but all that does it hurt your powers and bring such things into disrepute.
There are already too many scammers out there on the market and they already do more harm to our credibility than you can imagine.
Sceptics are having a field day and dismissing us all as frauds, charlatans and self-deluded kooks. And I don’t blame them.
Stay true to yourself. It doesn’t matter if you charge or not. What matter is that you’re honest and you don’t let your ego take over.
Next: What if nobody took anything for anything?
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There is a school of thought that charging for psychic services causes us to lose them.
I’ve heard this repeatedly ever since I was young, however my observations on this do not match this.
When it comes down to it, even though it’s claimed that ancient wisdom is full of such sayings they may not actually be true.
For instance is it said that being poor, suffering and a path of self-denial is godly and spiritual.
I don’t know what the thinking is behind those thoughts (except to keep people who are poor and who go without pacified) but it simply does not follow being poor has anything to do with your spiritual growth.
It may be part of your path, yes, however it would be more about what you gained from the experience rather than the fact that you must be poor to be spiritual.
In fact, basic needs need to be met before you can really start to focus on such things and make progress.
Money is just another form of energy. It’s our attitude to it that produces the problems.
For some reason, we seem to think that if we have a lot of it, then this makes us somehow bad.
Rich people seem to be automatically despised or judged by many. The richer they are, the more criticism they get, it seems.
People seem to actually resent people doing better than they are.
Ever notice, for instance, that when someone has a big lottery win, the general attitude is resentment and even ager rather than joy and happiness that someone else has had their dream come true?
This is from the same people who might have put in a ticket themselves, with the exact same intentions of winning.
The rich are resented and demonized and the poor are raised to sainthood, even though the reality may be absolutely nothing like that.
It’s not money that makes people positive or negative; it’s who they are being.
While it is true that a person might be rich because they have scammed, fleeced or deceived their way to riches, it does not follow that they are like that because of the money. The fortune may just be a by-product of their actions.
If we believe that money is evil and we shouldn’t have it, then our belief system dictates that we shouldn’t hold on to or even receive money and this creates a life where we constantly struggle from month to month, worrying about how we are going to make ends meet.
I once read in Conversations with God by Neale Donald Waslch a passage that stuck in my mind.
…your teachers make a pittance and your strip-teasers, a fortune. Your leaders make so little compared to sports figures that they feel they have to steal to make up the difference. Your priests and your rabbis live on bread and water while you throw coins at entertainers.
Think about it. Everything on which you place a high intrinsic value, you insist must come cheaply. The lonely research scientist seeking a cure for AIDS goes begging for money, while the woman who writes a book on a hundred new ways to have sex and creates tapes and weekend seminars to go with it… makes a fortune.
This having-it-all-backwards is a propensity with you, and it stems from wrong thought.
– CWG book 1.
I think this sums it up in a nutshell. Believing money is bad makes us bad for wanting and receiving it.
But it’s okay to have a job which you get paid for, as long as you hate it.
Really, though, this type of thinking is insane!
It goes hand in hand with that we must suffer and any enjoyment from life should be denied.
This is as ungodlike as you can be, though, especially if you believe that God is love, joy and acceptance. (Assuming you believe in a God in the first place, of course.)
Paying money is simply an exchange of energy.
By that I mean, we attach a value to it, and when we exchange it for goods or services, we are paying what we believe those things to be worth.
For the same token, it could be food, services or information.
It doesn’t really matter which, though. The point is that some type of exchange has taken place, and that’s what is really important.
Next: Yes, but does charging actually deplete your powers and gifts?
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I started this off as a musing on if we should charge for our services, but found it became a little more personal as I explored options.
I offer it here to others who face the same dilemmas and welcome any thoughts and suggestions on this subject.
I’ve been on the fence about charging for a long time, though.
The following issues are what I am concerned about.
What if people don’t get the results they need?
What if they don’t feel they’ve got their money’s worth?
Is it ethical to ask for anything in exchange? (Especially if you prefer to make everything free.)
The last one is the biggest sticking point for me. Does asking for something in return hurt my credibility?
I’ve come to the conclusion that not doing this is actually more detrimental in that regard. If you provide a free service, then people will treat it as though it is either worthless or they will feel that they can’t take anything without giving something in return.
And the fact is, I’m just as guilty of not wanting to take anything without giving something in exchange. Generally, I tend to over-compensate and give more than I think it is worth.
If I’m ever going to really make a difference, I’m going to have to leave the job that I get paid to do (especially as I know I am being well underpaid for the skills I have) and focus on helping others.
There are many legitimate reasons to charge for my services.
I am a master with the Bach Flower Remedies. I have made significant discoveries about them, including how to break the seven remedy limit so you can take as many as you wish.
I can help a lot of people. I can cure depression, and I have done so many times for many people.
I have a wealth of knowledge and experience (though I have and will continue to share it freely.)
Interestingly enough, people think nothing of paying $150.00 to see a psychic who will generally give them generic information, and I actually have a real service to provide.
My reservations about charging often come down to my belief that they probably can’t afford to pay in the first place because many people I know seem to be unemployed or are stretched with their incomes. Some people are still in school.
So, of course, I’m going on the assumption that most people can’t afford to pay, but realistically, I don’t believe that’s true.
I think there should be some kind of sliding scale though.
For instance, when I helped out someone who was local, they created a website for me in exchange. I felt this was more than a fair bargain. (And over the years, I gained much socially, too.)
Another used to pay me in peanut brittle!
To my mind, bartering is a reasonable way to exchange services when someone is low on funds.
Another reasonable exchange is information and support.
Interestingly (and frustratingly) enough, people I’ve helped have promised to help me out with something, but they rarely come through for me.
Best not to say you’ll do something for someone unless you intend to actually do it. You do more harm to yourself than good.
A sliding scale works well, especially if someone is a student, pensioner or supporting others.
You can also give the option of donations, though I feel that causes more problems than it solves, especially if someone doesn’t know how much something is worth.
The point is that somehow, we are made to believe that it’s wrong to ask for anything in exchange for providing a service that makes a difference, yet it’s fine to be paid for doing something you don’t even like or enjoy!
We’ve got it turned around the wrong way.
If you are good at something, and you enjoy it, then there needs to be some kind of exchange.
Not doing so will just lead to frustration and psychic burnout, which is what sparked this entire monologue in the first place!
An ex said something to me that her father once told her and it has stuck with me ever since.
Give away puppies for free, and no one will want them.
Put them in a box saying: Puppies – five dollars each! and they’ll sell like hotcakes.
In the end you’ve got to value your own worth, or no one else will.
Next: Money – the love / hate relationship.
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I started this off as a musing on if we should charge for our services, but found it became a little more personal as I explored options.
I offer it here to others who face the same dilemmas and welcome any thoughts and suggestions on this subject.
People have strongly suggested that I should start charging for my time and maybe that’s what it will come down to in the end, because what I find is that most either seem to not value what I do, or they will feel that they can’t come back to me because they feel too embarrassed and awkward.
However, I find that this is a controversial subject because, on one hand, there are plenty of scammers out there who are quite happy to fleece people out of their hard-earned cash in exchange for generic information that could apply to anyone and on the other hand, if you do provide a service, some kind of exchange needs to take place.
I’ve been helping people since 1986 and so far, I’ve not charged for my services, help and advice I’ve provided, and normally, I will send people what they need at my own expense. (Generally, those will be Bach Flower Remedies. It’s a shame I don’t get commission for recommending and buying them!)
I find that, in spite of the thousands of bottles of remedies and rescue cream that I’ve sent out since 1995, there is something unsatisfying about it overall. In the end, it leaves you feeling flat.
Over the years, I’ve made the following observations.
Even though people ask for help, they will not actually use what I send them.
They will generally either:
Not take the remedies at all.
I never actually hear from them again, or get any feedback on if they actually helped or not.Ignore my advice on how they should be taken and only take them once or twice a day. (When in fact, they should be taken at least four times a day when starting out, and every few minutes when things are at a critical point.)
On the last point, I’ve actually had a couple of people tell me that they drank the entire bottle in one go when they reached a crisis point (and also claim it saved their lives!) It’s waste, though, as they are meant to last years.
I even had one person tell me, after I send the remedies, that she didn’t trust anything sent from people she did not know. She could have saved me fifty dollars if she had told me before hand.
When I do get feedback, however, it is mostly positive.
As I’m always learning about what to do, every success and every failure helps me for the next person.
For example, I’ve only recently discovered that the Bach Flower Remedy Mustard is excellent for dealing with negative energy attacks. Some people I’ve helped would have benefited from it if I had known that at the time. However, as it was not sent, they did not get the remedy they needed.
Now, there are a few who do follow my instructions and provide feedback, and generally, it is of a very positive nature. They also keep in contact from time to time, even if it’s just to say hello.
Those people tend to be the most renewing for me, as even their best wishes and friendship goes a long, long way.
I also get the odd person who will write me essay after essay and essentially give me their life’s story. Then they stop, only to return a few months later asking for more help (also in a very long e-mail.)
I find those tend to be the biggest drain on me.
I have come to the point where I feel I can no longer keep up this type of one way energy exchange.
So, I’ve got two options. Either I stop doing this altogether or I start to charge in some way.
Next: Looking at options.
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One of the things that contribute to psychic burn out are the requests for help that I get on a pretty regular basis.
For instance, I get frequent requests for help by e-mail.
I would say, they would come at the rate of around four to six a month, and while not very many in the overall scheme of things, each one does take a fair enough of time to deal with as I will answer all mail I get.
Some of them are just thank you for doing what you do, e-mails, and those are always wonderful to get.
However, most are people asking for help on some level.
The type of requests I get generally fall into the below categories.
– People who are in real trouble and need help now.
– People who have genuine questions about experiences that have happened to them.
– Those who want answers to somewhat frivolous questions
– People who want answers to questions that can’t be answered.
– Those who ask the same question over and over until they get the answer they are looking for.
Let’s look at them one at a time.
People who are in real trouble and need help now
This is something that can’t be ignored. Sometimes, it is a matter of life and death, and I can feel this, so I will respond as soon as I can. Sometimes I can help the person in one reply, but more often than not, it can be a long term project until you help get their life turned around. Generally, though, it can be a very rewarding correspondence.
Contribution to psychic burn out: 1-2 out of 10
People who have genuine questions about experiences that have happened to them.
I get these ones the most. People have had experiences they can’t quite explain and are not sure what to do with them. Many of these are things like soul calls or what might be a psychic attack. I try to answer them best I can. 95% of these types of e-mails are one-offs, and I never hear from them again after I answer. As a rules, I often enjoy answering these types of questions.
Contribution to psychic burn out: 1-2 out of 10
Those who want answers to somewhat frivolous questions.
I get these occasionally and it’s generally someone who has some relationship issue that they want answered. As a rule, these e-mails tend to be very long, and (sometimes a little rambling) so it takes more time, and energy to get through it, and then work out what the question is, and what answer (if any) can be given. The relationships in question are about potential ones, and not ones that they are already in.
Personally, I find those types the hardest to answer as I don’t have clue what is going through the mind of the other party. Most of the time I don’t get any answers. Sometimes, I do, but that’s more the exception.
Contribution to psychic burn out: 6 out of 10
People who want answers to questions that can’t be answered.
I get this from time to time and I simply just don’t have answers, other than generic advice for someone. I’ve had some e-mails sit in my inbox for almost a year before I finally get something.
General rule is: If I don’t feel a flow in answering a question, then it’s a very bad idea to force it and I hate giving bullshit, generic answers, that anyone can give.
Clearly, I feel bad when I can’t give an answer because part of me feels that I should be able to, but on the other hand, I’m not the repository of information. Yes, I do get a lot of things that flow easily from me, but there are times when I feel a great resistance, and pursuing any answer will cause a massive drain on my energies.
In fact, trying to do something that doesn’t flow tends to be the biggest drain on psychic energies.
Contribution to psychic burn out: 8-9 out of 10
Those who ask the same question over and over until they get the answer they are looking for.
This type is the most frustrating. No matter how many times you give someone an answer, they will come back asking the same question in a different form. They will also ignore whatever you’ve just said, and also ignore any questions you’ve asked them.
The most frustrating thing with this type of person is that they are demanding, ungracious, and seem to think that you owe them something.
Generally, the answers they need to hear are not the answers they want to hear. In the end, the responsibility for knowing what is going on, or resolving their issues is their responsibility.
The problem with drain occurs when there is no equivalent energy exchange. You’ve put all you’ve got into helping this person, but you don’t receive anything in return.
Contribution to psychic burn out: 9-10 out of 10
Now, being altruistic, I would just love to help everyone all the time and fix up their lives for them, and answer all their questions, but I’ve found that it’s just not possible, at least, not without making myself very sick.
In the end, there is little choice but to shut down for a while and look after yourself.
Next: Should we charge for our services?
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