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Empath Series: 30 Traits of an Empath by Just Be – Trait 4 – The media or why does this affect me so much?

televisionA while ago, I came across an amazing blog called 30 Traits of an Empath which covered many more traits than I come across before. They were written in a very clear and succinct way.

I approached the author, a very humble person, to see if she or he (I can’t be sure on the gender) would give me permission to discuss them with my guides and post them here. I was told that I may.

The traits will be presented in their original form and if you wish to see the entire list, (and if you haven’t, I really recommend that you do) you can do so here.

As always my guide’s responses are in italics.

4.     Watching violence, cruelty or tragedy on the TV is unbearable: The more attuned an Empath becomes the worse it is and may make it so they eventually have to stop watching TV and reading newspapers altogether.

Personally, I find watching the news pretty frustrating, especially since it’s designed to emotionally manipulate and enrage you.  I tend to catch the headlines, but I don’t really go further than that. On some level, it’s important to know what is happening out there and where everyone’s attention is.

Being an Empath means that when public sentiment and emotions are high, you are more likely to pick up it and become vulnerable.

It also depends if you’re attuned to such things or not. You could have absolutely no resonance with anything that is happening that day, and so you will not sense it.

Remember, Empaths tend to pick up on those things they relate to on some level. Sympathy pains are simply pain you resonate with in your own body. There are fears and deep seated traumas that can make them manifest when someone else brings them up. They can also be health issues that are not yet detected or are unresolved. You can take them as warnings or cautions that you are vulnerable to the same thing that is being discussed.

Weren’t we discussing the news?

The discussion is about resonating with what you are seeing on TV or when reading the newspaper. This, in effect, is about sympathy pains. Something many Empaths are vulnerable to.

Okay. I was expecting to get into a dialogue about how media is manipulative and should be treated with caution.

There isn’t much that doesn’t fall into that category. Most things you come across are manipulative in some way. This is because people are trying to achieve an end result and will craft their words and ideas in order to do that. So, yes, you can certainly suggest this is true for the media, but don’t separate them out to be the bad guys. They are simply providing a service that the public ask for. Otherwise they would not be doing it in the first place. Business goes where the money and demand is.

Of course, this is true for controlled media, too. In countries where it’s controlled by the government of the day, the media is especially notorious for trying to manipulate people. One way or another, they will succeed, though not always with the intended results.

When it comes to newspapers, televisions, movies and any other kind of communication media, you will often find that the more sensitive you become, the choosier you will become about what you decide to watch.

I know there are some movies or plots that always bring an emotional tear to my eye, even though the actual plot is contrived and paper thin.

That’s because you resonate to them on some level. You’re not reacting to a well-crafted story, you’re reacting to a deep longing, or possibly trauma that may even be based in a past life.

This is true for most people, empathic or not. They will watch the most contrived product because it’s a reflection of their own desires and experiences. If you can reach people on an emotional level, you can sell just about anything.

So back to the original point. Violence, news, and so on are hard for an Empath to cope with.

The only other point I will make is that many Empaths actually can sense when something isn’t true. So if they read or see it in the news, it will spark their sense of outrage and possible anger. No one likes being lied to of told things they know aren’t true, and an Empath will pick up on that pretty quickly.

So avoid the media?

No, not entirely. It’s worth knowing what is going on. Just don’t put any emotional investment into it. It is what it is, and is a general reflection of the current social situation. People love their drama. You don’t have to be part of it. You just need to be aware so you can act accordingly. 

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Is chaos really order or is order really chaos?

Mumbai traffic 1Recently, I was asked to go to Mumbai, India for 10 days. My company decided to follow suit of other shipping lines and centralize part of their operations there.

It was very short notice as the visa had fallen through for the lady who was meant to go. So they asked me.

I have to admit, I was quite reluctant to go. I had to be there 2nd January and that meant flying out New Year’s morning. I had been looking forward to having a day off.

As mentioned, it was very short notice. I had around 6 working days to get it all organized while keeping up with my work.

I also really hate flying. All in all, in order to fly from Melbourne, Australia to Mumbai, you’re looking at being awake for about 24 – 30 hours.

Fortunately, airlines have changed a lot in the last ten years, and the inflight entertainment system makes time go past very fast.

I found Mumbai to be an interesting place. The energy of the land feels quite subdued, as though it has been beating into submission by thousands of years of trauma. In all the chaos, it feels like the earth has quietly surrendered and no longer has the strength to resist.

My feelings are that there is much healing that needs to be done and I’ll look at that in a further post.

What I’d like to do is focus on the traffic I experienced there.

It was completely chaotic to say the least, and I could not imagine myself trying to drive there.

And yet, it all seems to work. Many people cross and walk along the roads at will and in spite of what appeared to be a lack of rules and and a constant peak hour traffic, you somehow still managed to get to your destination in a reasonable time and… I did not see a single accident in time I was there.

In Australia, everything is very strict. Break a law and there are heavy fines. You can’t use your mobile while driving. Seatbelts are compulsory. Traffic lights must be obeyed. Speed limits are strictly enforced (and they are getting lower all the time.)

All the logical and sensible laws are put in place and a lot of resources are used to enforce it.

Traffic seems orderly and predictable.  Yet in spite of that, it’s generally a nightmare, and every day there are accidents all over the place. Road rage is very common.

Does Mumbai traffic work better because they are forced to be alert all the time and drive both offensively and aggressively? Does having to watch out for everyone else mean that everyone has to work together to make it all work?

If so, what does it say for those places where order is the name of the game? Does too many rules equal chaos?

Does allowing chaos lead to order?

If so, how does that translate to how we run our lives?

I wonder… if the more we try to control what we do, the less successful we may be?

While we should have goals and have plans to achieve them, there is a natural flow that should not be ignored. It involves working with nature, people and others and trusting in our timing. If we can trust in such things, perhaps we will have greater success.

Easier said than done, because many come from a place of fear, and try to force events to happen when the timing is clearly wrong.

To me, that’s like sowing seeds in Autumn and insisting that your crops grow.

Timing is everything, and if you can know and trust your timing, everything will shift when the time is right.

I may have touched on this before, but the hardest part of achieving your goal is trying to convince others that you know what you’re doing. Yes, sometimes it may take years to achieve something, but those may be the years where all is being set up and people and events are being put into place.

To act before things are ready will mean you are doing something before everyone gets to where they need to be.

Timing is everything. Knowing your timing is key to a successful life. Everything will unfold as it should if you know your timing.

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Empath series: Beware of the holiday depression or Merry Christmas.

Empath ChatroomIt’s almost Christmas time.

Generally, it’s the period where people are happier and even the more hard-nosed of people tend to mellow out. Families gather, gifts are exchanged and we all eat way too much food.

Generally.

It’s also a time of great loneliness for many.

There are so many out there who feel lost and alone.

People who may have no one to be with during the holiday period.  Perhaps they have no family. Maybe they don’t feel they have friends. Perhaps they are at the age where everyone has left and all they have are memories of how wonderful things used to be when they were younger.

Maybe things aren’t going well in their life due to work situations, health, money, fears about loved ones or they just don’t feel they fit in and everyone is having one big, joyous party but them.

Even if you’re not a Christian. Even if you’re not religious. That sense of being alone will be intensified during those few weeks.

As Empaths, we are particularly vulnerable to those energies.

As December started, I started to see more and more people comment that they felt something bad was happening and they were feeling down without any obvious reason.

I believe they are picking up on those many others who feel alone.

The holiday season is a very big time for depression and many Empaths can’t wait for it to be done with so things can get back to normal.

For those of you who feel this pain, just remember you are not alone. There are many others out there who feel the same way, and many others who endure what seems like a torturous few weeks.

Just know that there are many ways to connect and support each other such as Empath forums, blogs or chat rooms.

I also have a free ad-free chatroom for this specific purpose. It has been open for the past five or so years. You don’t even need to register to login. You can just type in a name and join as a guest.

This is one of my gifts and services to the Empath community, so if you feel like trying to connect to others, please feel free to visit and say hi.

The room ebbs and flows with the amount of people who are there, but there are certainly people there every day, depending on the time.

Remember, you are not alone, and there is a lot of support for those who seek it.

You can find the Empath Chat Room at this link.

http://www.psi-zone.net/oldchat.html (or just click on the picture above.)

It requires Java to run (as do most chat of this kind.)

You can sign in as a guest by just typing a name into the User Name section or you can register a password protected name by using the ‘create new user account’ link underneath it.

The only rules are courtesy and validation.

Hope we get to see a few there.

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I am not an animal, I’m a human being… or am I?

English: The Phoenix Firebird Deutsch: Der Pho...

Over the years, I’ve notice that people, in general, tend to react to me in various ways.

I seem to make many of them uneasy. Some instantly hate me (even if we never spoke) and some just seem to click with me. Not too many seem to be indifference to me.

Someone made a comment to me the other day that I don’t seem human at times.

It was an interesting comment that made me think.

Fact is: I’ve never felt ‘human’. By that, I mean, I’ve never felt I’ve fitted in. Even growing up, I couldn’t connect to others. I didn’t appear to have the same type of filters my peers and family did.

I didn’t have the same interest or awareness that other appeared to have. I spent most of the time in my mind and was often yelled at for being oblivious. (As though yelling was going to change that.)

As I grew older, I tried to fit in, but it just looked awkward and I felt there was always this invisible barrier between me and everyone else. I was always the odd person out and never invited to parties or to hang out with others.

When I did try to make the effort to mix, it just didn’t work.

I could put it down to my family life, which was traumatic, but lots of others had that, too, and they functioned with their peers just fine.

I made friends once I hit 16 years of age and seemed to be accepted more, however I still did not fit in. In fact, it got worse. I was labelled as weird, but at the same time, more and more people were drawn to me.  Some of them were almost obsessed with me.

Throughout it all, I never felt like I belonged. I felt terribly alone, and was always on the lookout for soul family members. That is: people who were not my blood family, but connected to me.

I don’t know how, but I knew they were out there, but how I was to find them eluded me.

When it comes down to it, I don’t think I feel what being human would feel like. I don’t experience lust and addictions, (unless you count chocolate). I have no interest in clubs, pubs, drinking, drugs, gangs, groups, etc. I don’t even see death in the same way others do.  Never have.

I did try. I would go to parties, joined my friends at nightclubs, tried discos (back in the 70s) and even went to a pub or two.

All were torture.

It’s hard for an Empath to describe what it’s like, but imagine yourself in a plastic bubble that is being buffeted by high winds from all direction. Add to that an inflatable hood that’s over your head, and the pressure is pumped up too high.  So you feel blocked off but overwhelmed. You can’t really function and the best you can do is nod and smile when someone tries to talk to you.

That’s how it is for me. It’s doubly worse because I didn’t have any interest in being in those places in the first place, but thought I should try them. I thought, hey, maybe it will be fun. It wasn’t. All I wanted to do was get the hell out at the first opportunity.

I always wondered to myself, do people actually enjoy these things? Are they really having a good time? What draws them back night after night? I didn’t understand back then and I still don’t understand today.

I’m sure I’m not alone here. There are people who class themselves as Otherkin and some who believe they are Starseeds.  And though I’ve never seen myself as those things, I certainly fit most of the signs they mention.

Being human is more than just being in a human body. At least, that’s what I feel.

How many reading this have felt the same way? Please feel free to comment.

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In memory of Colleen Davey aka DamaCaillin .

1376417_1988078632615_1225172111_nIt’s when something bad happens that your true belief system is called into question.

Do you react in a way that’s not consistent with what you preach or do you take comfort in what you understand and know.

This is true, especially when a friend or a loved one dies. You are thrown back on what you truly believe about death and the afterlife.

For me, I don’t believe death exists, but it’s a transition to another state where you continue to be fully aware and conscious (assuming you understand what is happening to you) and you continue on.

I also don’t believe it’s random.

However, when it does happen, it can be unexpected, and come as a great shock to you and those who knew the departed.

If you’re an Empath, you will pick up on the grief of those around you, and that can be overwhelming and horrible to feel.

I bring this up because this week, a dear friend of mine passed away. Her name was Colleen Davey, and she was a member of my blog and a mod in my chatroom.

She died from complications from heart surgery. She was in her mid 20s.

She was a gentle and honest person, and very loyal. She cared about people and was always planning to bring joy to the world and make it a better place for everyone. She spoke about her plans for this a lot.

She was also someone I considered a part of my soul family. She had clear past life memories of us and other soul family members. She would discuss these with me in great detail. Sometimes I would get up to 100 e-mails a day from her, and she would e-mail me most days.

She knew who I was before I had worked it out. She reminded me of many things that had the ring of truth to it. And her information was later verified, independently, by several others who had never even met her.

She struggled greatly with her past lives, and who she was, and how she always felt she wasn’t important.

But she was important. I told her that. In spite of how some had treated her, she was the compassion and love that people needed. My soul family is insane. They would have to be to do what they did, but there were always some trying to hold us all together. Colleen was one of them.

She did appear to me in my dream the night after she passed away. It was clear and vivid. She looked good and she looked happy.

Yes, on this level, I am grief stricken, even though I do know full well she’s simply moved to a higher level. It’s the tangible loss I feel.

And if I should connect to those who knew her, I feel the devastation and absolute grief. It’s overwhelming and I feel impotent because I can’t do anything to help them. They don’t even know who I am.

I asked my guides, who she was also familiar with, why she left. They told me her task was done and she was ready to go.

I said they didn’t seem very upset about it. They responded with: Why would they? She was with them now, and they were all waiting for me to finish my work so I could leave, too, and they could all go home. But they said I still had a lot of work to do.

Today is Thanksgiving in America. I wish you a joyful day to all my American friends, and there are many.

I am also thankful to have known you, Colleen, even if it was for a few short years. You filled in many of the gaps in my knowledge and know that I cared for you very greatly.

My prayers, love, healing and thoughts go out to her friends and family. Know she is fine and we are left behind to carry on.

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I had this experience the other day or did I…?

Fraser Illusion

Experiences.

We are so ready to dismiss them.

Sometimes you experience something that feels very strong at the time, but when you come away from it, you wonder if you were just making it all up or you were mistaken.

I get this a lot. In fact, I can imagine my guides’ frustration as I tend to go back and forth on experiences which seem to fade in my memory almost as soon as they are done.

Why?

Maybe it’s because I have a really poor memory or part of me still has trouble accepting that the unbelievable is real. Or perhaps it’s fear that my ego is out of control and making it all up.

Either way, it’s frustrating: Very frustrating.

My own experiences are so unreal that after the event that I can’t even tell people about them. It’s as though I shift into another frame of mind.

What feels so compelling at the time will feel like someone who is out for attention.

I have to wonder, though: Can I afford to keep this up? Personally, I don’t think so. Personally, I feel that it’s time to stop doubting and just lay my cards on the table.

What bothers me  is that I’ve seen so many others do the same.

What they tell others seemed like rubbish to me. I’m not even sure if  they did experience something or if they just really just fooled themselves into believing their story.

Their stories just didn’t sound real. Or ring true.

While I didn’t sneer or call them out on those things, it did hurt their credibility, at least in my eyes and for those around them.

Then, on the other hand, there are certainly plenty of people for whom I accepted their stories and experiences without a second thought.

What is the difference between those I believe and those I don’t?

I feel, that in the end, it comes down to if you feel the resonance of truth behind their words.

As an Empath, I can sense if something is true or not. If it isn’t true, I will feel anger, antsy and extreme annoyance. (For instance, something I felt about a recently departed so called psychic and many who are still living and in the same line of work.)

In the end, you can only tell your story and trust that those who hear it will listen to their feelings and judge if it’s true or not.

I was going to write about an experience I had last week end, but ended up heading in another direction. So I’ll leave that for another entry.

So, how do others handle this conundrum? Do you believe what you experiences? Do you feel you can tell others? Have people believed you?

Please feel free to comment.