Month: November 2013

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In memory of Colleen Davey aka DamaCaillin .

1376417_1988078632615_1225172111_nIt’s when something bad happens that your true belief system is called into question.

Do you react in a way that’s not consistent with what you preach or do you take comfort in what you understand and know.

This is true, especially when a friend or a loved one dies. You are thrown back on what you truly believe about death and the afterlife.

For me, I don’t believe death exists, but it’s a transition to another state where you continue to be fully aware and conscious (assuming you understand what is happening to you) and you continue on.

I also don’t believe it’s random.

However, when it does happen, it can be unexpected, and come as a great shock to you and those who knew the departed.

If you’re an Empath, you will pick up on the grief of those around you, and that can be overwhelming and horrible to feel.

I bring this up because this week, a dear friend of mine passed away. Her name was Colleen Davey, and she was a member of my blog and a mod in my chatroom.

She died from complications from heart surgery. She was in her mid 20s.

She was a gentle and honest person, and very loyal. She cared about people and was always planning to bring joy to the world and make it a better place for everyone. She spoke about her plans for this a lot.

She was also someone I considered a part of my soul family. She had clear past life memories of us and other soul family members. She would discuss these with me in great detail. Sometimes I would get up to 100 e-mails a day from her, and she would e-mail me most days.

She knew who I was before I had worked it out. She reminded me of many things that had the ring of truth to it. And her information was later verified, independently, by several others who had never even met her.

She struggled greatly with her past lives, and who she was, and how she always felt she wasn’t important.

But she was important. I told her that. In spite of how some had treated her, she was the compassion and love that people needed. My soul family is insane. They would have to be to do what they did, but there were always some trying to hold us all together. Colleen was one of them.

She did appear to me in my dream the night after she passed away. It was clear and vivid. She looked good and she looked happy.

Yes, on this level, I am grief stricken, even though I do know full well she’s simply moved to a higher level. It’s the tangible loss I feel.

And if I should connect to those who knew her, I feel the devastation and absolute grief. It’s overwhelming and I feel impotent because I can’t do anything to help them. They don’t even know who I am.

I asked my guides, who she was also familiar with, why she left. They told me her task was done and she was ready to go.

I said they didn’t seem very upset about it. They responded with: Why would they? She was with them now, and they were all waiting for me to finish my work so I could leave, too, and they could all go home. But they said I still had a lot of work to do.

Today is Thanksgiving in America. I wish you a joyful day to all my American friends, and there are many.

I am also thankful to have known you, Colleen, even if it was for a few short years. You filled in many of the gaps in my knowledge and know that I cared for you very greatly.

My prayers, love, healing and thoughts go out to her friends and family. Know she is fine and we are left behind to carry on.

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I had this experience the other day or did I…?

Fraser Illusion

Experiences.

We are so ready to dismiss them.

Sometimes you experience something that feels very strong at the time, but when you come away from it, you wonder if you were just making it all up or you were mistaken.

I get this a lot. In fact, I can imagine my guides’ frustration as I tend to go back and forth on experiences which seem to fade in my memory almost as soon as they are done.

Why?

Maybe it’s because I have a really poor memory or part of me still has trouble accepting that the unbelievable is real. Or perhaps it’s fear that my ego is out of control and making it all up.

Either way, it’s frustrating: Very frustrating.

My own experiences are so unreal that after the event that I can’t even tell people about them. It’s as though I shift into another frame of mind.

What feels so compelling at the time will feel like someone who is out for attention.

I have to wonder, though: Can I afford to keep this up? Personally, I don’t think so. Personally, I feel that it’s time to stop doubting and just lay my cards on the table.

What bothers me  is that I’ve seen so many others do the same.

What they tell others seemed like rubbish to me. I’m not even sure if  they did experience something or if they just really just fooled themselves into believing their story.

Their stories just didn’t sound real. Or ring true.

While I didn’t sneer or call them out on those things, it did hurt their credibility, at least in my eyes and for those around them.

Then, on the other hand, there are certainly plenty of people for whom I accepted their stories and experiences without a second thought.

What is the difference between those I believe and those I don’t?

I feel, that in the end, it comes down to if you feel the resonance of truth behind their words.

As an Empath, I can sense if something is true or not. If it isn’t true, I will feel anger, antsy and extreme annoyance. (For instance, something I felt about a recently departed so called psychic and many who are still living and in the same line of work.)

In the end, you can only tell your story and trust that those who hear it will listen to their feelings and judge if it’s true or not.

I was going to write about an experience I had last week end, but ended up heading in another direction. So I’ll leave that for another entry.

So, how do others handle this conundrum? Do you believe what you experiences? Do you feel you can tell others? Have people believed you?

Please feel free to comment.

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Empath Series: 30 Traits of an Empath by Just Be – Trait 3 Picking up on feelings or what station and I on?

English: Robert Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions

A while ago, I came across an amazing blog called 30 Traits of an Empath which covered many more traits than I come across before. They were written in a very clear and succinct way.  

I approached the author, a very humble person, to see if she or he (I can’t be sure on the gender) would give me permission to discuss them with my guides and post them here. I was told that I may.

The traits will be presented in their original form and if you wish to see the entire list, (and if you haven’t, I really recommend that you do) you can do so here.

As always my guide’s responses are in italics.

 3.     Feeling others emotions and taking them on as your own: This is a huge one for Empaths. To some, they will feel emotions off those near by and with others they will feel emotions from those a vast distance away, or both. The more adept Empath will know if someone is having bad thoughts about them, even from a great distance.

This is essentially what defines an Empath. We can generally sense how people feel about us, even if what they show and what they think are two very different things.

The further removed you are from the person or the situation, the less likely you are to pick up their feelings.

That means that the more something or someone affects you, the stronger you will feel it.

This can be especially apparent at work. I could always tell when things were being done behind my back. I would always get a great sense of anxiety on the way home and sure enough, the next day, I would have received a nasty e-mail from someone, or find out someone had been attacking me. In all cases, the attacks were unjustified and unwarranted, especially as these people had nothing to do with me in my day to day job, and my work was always done quickly and to a very high standard.

My guides did not take kindly to those attacks either. They eventually took action.

You have some very protective guides. As you said, they don’t take kindly to attacks on you that you did not initiate. You will also notice that even though these people did exactly what they accused you of doing, you were the only one targeted. Also note that you were the only one trying to help people (and at times save their lives) at work. It is an oddity that, in this world, helping others is actively resisted by many.

However, what we want to discuss here is why we sense what others feel.

So, why?

We are all connected because we are one soul. Even though it is split into infinite aspects, the same energy still flows through it.

Now, that does not mean you will sense everything all at once. That’s not possible, or even healthy, unless you are on a much higher vibrational level.

What it does mean, though, is that the more you resonate with something, the more you will feel it.

Look upon people as transmitters. You are the receiver, and they are the station generating their thoughts and their feelings.

The only things you will pick up on are those you are tuned into. Now, it’s possible to have a broad range of frequencies that you can pick up on, but even that would be considered small considering that the range is infinite.

The more relevant and important something is to you, the stronger you will pick up on it. If a loved one is having a hard day, chances are, you, as an empath, will sense this.

If they are having a rough day and it’s due to you, then  you will certainly sense it very strongly.

If it’s an acquaintance, you can still pick up on their feelings, but generally only when you focus on it.

If someone is plotting behind your back, that information is important and relevant to you, so you will certainly feel something is going on.

In short, the further removed you are from the situation, the less likely you are to feel it.

But don’t some people feel everything all the time?

Not everything. They feel what they resonate with. If they resonate with fear, grief, trauma or anything that’s negative, they will most certainly pick up on all those things around them. Once again, it’s what you are attuned to. What frequency are you open to.

If someone has experienced danger and trauma in their past, they will always be open to such things because they will be trying to sense potential danger.

I will tell you this, though. The stronger the energy, the more likely people will pick up on it. Even non Empaths.

Great traumatic events, such as 9/11 was felt strongly around the world. Many psychics felt something horrible was going to happen weeks before it occurred. It was a major event.

The problem is, you can feel something is going to happen, but you can’t always work out what.

In the end, all you can do is send healing and positive energies to those feelings, and know they will help.

As an Empath, you are powerful. Enough Empaths sending positive energy and love to those they see as negative could heal this world and it wouldn’t take long.

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Empath Series: 30 Traits of an Empath by Just Be – Trait 2 – Crowds or party on, dude???

Massive crowds after the fireworks

A while ago, I came across an amazing blog called 30 Traits of an Empath which covered many more traits than I come across before. They were written in a very clear and succinct way.  

I approached the author, a very humble person, to see if she or he (I can’t be sure on the gender) would give me permission to discuss them with my guides and post them here. I was told that I may.

The traits will be presented in their original form and if you wish to see the entire list, (and if you haven’t, I really recommend that you do) you can do so here.

As always my guide’s responses are in italics.

2.     Being in public places can be overwhelming: Places like shopping malls, supermarkets or stadiums, where there are lots of people around, can fill the Empath with turbulently vexed emotions that are coming from others.

 Personally, I don’t mind shopping malls and supermarkets. I’ve not really been to a stadium. At least, not in the past 30 years.

I don’t like some crowded places, such as the city on new year’s eve.

I really detest parties and night clubs. That’s like hell on earth for me.

It very much depends on the type of energy that is around you. When people gather together en masse, it creates a strong field that the Empath can easily pick up on. If the energy resonates with the Empath, they will feel at home. If not, then they will try to exit the first chance they can do it politely.

Now if you’re a sensitive type of person, you will find that alcohol fueled parties might well be  difficult to handle because alcohol often unleashes certain emotions that are often repressed.

If the Empath is already sensitive towards such things, they will find they are magnified.

I can’t say I noticed that, myself. I found it was more… I didn’t fit in and I also felt overwhelmed.

Yes, that is another thing worth understanding. Empaths will often feel like they don’t belong to such groups. These are the same people who can’t seem to connect socially. Yes, it’s true that they work fine one on one, but the bigger the crowd, the harder it becomes.

And why is that?

It’s due to actually not really belonging to certain groups. Some people are here to help, but that does not mean they are part of the people who they are helping. Now, let’s take you, personally.

You don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, enjoy parties, clubbing, demeaning people, gossip and sport like activities.

Those are all common interests that people share. You would rather go to a quiet place, have a coffee and a bite to eat and talk about spiritual topics, or something light-hearted.

While you might not find many people who you can connect to on those levels, you can certainly be sure that you are not the only one who feels that way. There are millions upon millions of others who can’t connect in this fashion. Yet, in spite of the numbers, they are sprinkled amongst the billions of people in this world. It is not unusual for someone to go through their entire life and never realize they have met someone else who feels the way they do. This may be especially due to other Empaths trying to fit in and pretend they have the interests that others have.

Add to that places that have a concentration of such people, you may not be able to function. Especially if it is filled with smoke, club music, noise, drugs and drunkenness. You will be overwhelmed with the very energies that you spend your time avoiding. You will not know what to do, let alone even function.

Many will dismiss you as a ‘party pooper’. Some will look at you and wonder what your problem is. It would be rare for anyone to realize that this is hell for the Empath, and the best thing they can do for them is to take them outside and away from the crowd.

That is also why other kinds of crowded places may not be a problem for the Empath. Malls, plaza’s, places of fun, movie theatres, etc, generally bring out the good energy in people. Some people love shopping. Others enjoy the entertainment.

Come Christmas time or a major holiday, there will be many who are pushed for time, stressed, short of money and feeling obliged to make a purchase.  Their emotions will be running high, especially when they are with a family of tired and cranky children. That is when it’s wise to avoid such crowds.

I can’t help but wonder… do people really enjoy parties? What do they get out of it?

Being with others who they can connect to. Isn’t that enough? They may not even be happy or enjoy being there, but they are with others and they can try and forget about feeling lonely and alone, at least for a little while.

So, any advice on how to cope in crowds?

Remember, the key to controlling your empathy is being grounded. The key to being grounded is your self-confidence. If you are not feeling like you belong somewhere, you will certainly not enjoy the experience. You will feel like an intruder or an outsider. 

Most Empaths who can’t tolerate crowds stay as long as they feel is politely possible, and then make their exit. They believe they will offend the host, or maybe the guest, so they hang around.

Sometimes it’s just wise to explain that you don’t function well in such situations, and you need to leave. If they don’t understand or accept this, then really, you’re better off without such people in your life. You will always feel alone, even in the most crowded place.

Yes, but remember, when you’re with friends, or with a partner, that’s not always an option. And that does not mean those people aren’t good for you in other circumstances.

That is so, however, remember they should allow for such things. If you explain you can’t cope, then that is just you being you. If they can’t tolerate that, then you are better off without them.

Remember, the more you are you, the more others will find you because you are what they are looking for.

As always, I will suggest a Bach Flower Remedy that helps.

Elm is the remedy for feeling overwhelmed, and that certainly can be useful when you’re hit with all those energy from a crowd.  

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Empath Guidebook – Now fully edited.

Empath cover version 1Just a quick note.

The Empath Guidebook (my free e-book) has been fully edited by the amazing Julianne Victoria.

My heartfelt thanks for doing what is a tedious and meticulous job.  I’m sure those who read the edit version will certainly thank you, too!

It’s rare to find someone so selflessly giving of their abilities and time.

I really do recommend visiting her sites (all listed below). There is a lot to this lady and she has a lot to share.

Through the Peacock’s Eyes, Insights for Spiritual Living

On the Streets of San Francisco, Photography

Facebook

Twitter

Haiku By Ku, A Poetic Pup’s Poem

Swami Zoe’s Yoga and Zen

Thank you for the gift you have given to the Empath Community.

This guidebook is ever evolving, so from time to time, there should be some major updates. Watch this space.

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Psychic series: Can we really transmit energy or some dogs are too sensitive

From time to time, I’ve pondered whether we have the ability, as empaths, to send out energy and change how people feel, or even affect the outcome of a situation.

I’ve always been slightly ambivalent about if we really do have that kind of power, in spite of the many instances I’ve experienced that seems we do.

There have been many occasions where people, who are greatly panicked or even in terror, calm immediately down and feel great reassurance when they speak to me.

As far as I’m aware, I don’t actually do anything different, but none the less, they experience this time and time again.

Are we capable of sending energy without meaning to?

Back in 1991, I visited the Powerhouse Museum in Sydney, New South Wales. I came across a device that measured your body’s electrical flow. It worked by putting your hands on two metal pads. A meter showed what the current was.

Unfortunately, I cannot recall the name of the device, so my terminology might well be wrong. However, what I found was that if I focused my thoughts to raising the needle, I found that I could move it very high.

By the power of my mind, I was able to direct energy to my hands and adjust the needle at will. The results were clearly and repeatedly shown.

It does seem that, as Empaths (and even non Empaths) we can send control our internal energies and it may follow that we can send certain energies at will.

I’ve found that if I send loving healing thoughts to crying babies, they calm down instantly.

Animals, insects and arachnids seem to respond, too.

Recently, there, was an interesting example. We allow our 14 and a half year old Doberman to sleep with us. Normally, he’ll sense if there’s something negative around us, especially after we turn off the light.

He will make a weird yelp for no apparent reason, and my partner will have me burn sage to clear the energy.

That night, though, I was too tired to get up and do this, so I send my energy to clear the area and also pacify our dog. Next thing I knew, he was snuggling against me, as close as he could get, and did not stop until around 4 a.m.

As this is certainly not typical behaviour from our dog, I can only surmise that he was picking up on my energy, and wanted more of it.

I often wonder just how much out activities influence what is around us. Last night for example, I decided to do some searching on YouTube for any genuine haunting and came across a documentary on the infamous Sallie House. Said to be one of the most haunted places in the world.

Our dog, who normally just lies on the couch sleeping, came up and kept on putting his face on my legs within minutes of me watching. Soon after, he starts giving a weird yelp at the fire place.

I decided to cleanse the area with Sage, and he settled back to normal.

Do we underestimate just how much impact our thoughts and actions have around us? Are we more powerful than we give ourselves credit for?

Some food for thought.