Month: April 2013

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Depression Series – Empaths and the seasons or ‘Tis the season to be jolly… I wish.

Seasonal depression

Each season has an energy to it. For instance, Spring is the energy of renewal, and Winter is the energy of withdrawal and rest.

For the empath, Autumn / Fall, can be a terribly depressing time. It’s the time when things are dying. Leafs are falling off the trees, the days are getting shorter and the weather is growing colder.

For me, there were two weeks in May, our Autumn, where I would fall into a deep, deep depression. It was debilitating and I could barely function.  After a couple of week, things would settle, and I would still feel depressed, but could function again.

It wasn’t till Spring came that things would seem to shift, and there was hope again. My depression even lifted for a few months.

But the cycle would repeat every year. And while I made the connections as to what was happening, I was powerless to do anything about it.

It’s been a long time now since I’ve suffered that, and I believe that clearing my past shock and trauma had a lot to do with that.

The energy of the season, especially for the empath, can magnify how you are feeling.

Apart from clearing the causes of your depression, it also is a good idea to work with the energy of the season.  While you may not be able to do this on a professional or work level, it’s possible to do this on a personal level.

Fall is the time to withdraw and rest, but Spring will come, and make hay while the sun shines, as the saying goes.

It is said that light therapy, and burning orange essential oils helps with seasonal depression.

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Spirit Guides – Part 1 – If I can’t see them, can they possibly exist?

The following blog  is a 8 part series on on Spirit Guides, my experiences, and what you might do in order to contact your own. 

Enjoy

Do spirit guides exist, and do we all have them?

This is one of those questions that I queried time and time again over the years. There was a point in my life where I not only believed that I did not have guides, but that if they did exist, they certainly wouldn’t be wasting their time on the normal person, and certainly, not on me.

I used to be quite the student of controversial author, Tuesday Lobang Rampa, and while many things he said were certainly debatable, he did say something on the subject of guides that stuck with me for a long time.

Why would a Native American or Indian, or what have you, suddenly rush back to be your guide when during their life, they had been treated with disdain? He was quite empathic about the fact that no one had spirit guides, and anything we heard was from our ‘overself’ or higher self, as it’s generally called. This made logical sense to me at the time, even though my own experiences were very different, but I tended to ignore them.

In those days, I would ignore most of my thoughts and experiences because they were too fantastical, improbable and completely impossible. Regardless of that, most of them have now been verified.

It was certainly a curiosity, though that he had his own guide in the form of a departed friend.

All that aside, however, I’ve always had that voiceless voice in my mind. It would always come unbidden, and carry on conversations with me with unique thoughts and ideas that I had not considered.

My life is as contrived as any bad Hollywood movie and if I was reading a book on myself, I would, no doubt, cringe on every sentence.

Something certainly did appear to be guiding me, and something certainly still does.

Personally, I’m in two minds about if guides are just our higher-self talking to us or if there are indeed spirits that spend their time hanging around us and giving advice and direction.

I also have to consider if it’s not a mental disorder. Perhaps there is something wrong with me, and I’m making this all up. Perhaps I want to believe so much that I’m making everything fit to make sense.

Still, if it is a disorder, then it’s an experience that is shared by many others.

Next: Discovering my guides.

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The signs of being an empath

This list is what many people may experience if they are highly emphatic. You may not experience them all, but some do. This list is not inclusive.

  • You may be very sensitive to noises. They may not be loud, but they feel like they go right through you.

 

  • You are sensitive to harsh lights, strong smells. The energy of these things can actually induce a state where you are experiencing strong feelings triggered by them.

 

  • It’s a real trial being at places such as parties, nightclubs where there are so many people that you can barely move, and the noise is so loud that you try to leave your body until it’s all over and you get to leave. An empath will often try and leave such places as soon as it’s politely possible. They cannot understand how people can go to these places night after night, or even how they could be enjoying themselves.

 

  • You may also hate crowded places such as shopping plazas, train stations or just too many people in the same room. Normally it’s a place where there is chaotic energy, and the people around you are stressed and just want to get what they are there to do over and done with.

 

  • You may experience periods of anxiety for no apparent reason. No matter what you do, you can’t seem to let it go, or get over it, and you have no idea why.

 

  • You are clinically depressed, or feel depressed for no apparent reason. Once again, no matter what you try, you just can’t ‘get over it’.

 

  • You carry a lot of guilt, even if it’s for another’s action or for something you have done that has been received in a way you did not expect or desire.

 

  • You feel over sensitive to whether people want to be around you or not. Indeed, if you sense that you are not welcome somewhere or by someone, you will hastily make the quickest retreat you can or become ungrounded.

 

  • You feel ungrounded. That is, you are all in your mind, rather than your body. When you are somewhere where you do not feel comfortable, or are bored, or just do not wish to be there, you will often retreat into your imagination, and travel to far off and distant places. Anywhere but where you are.

 

  • You can always tell how someone else feels, even if they tell you something else. This is often taken personally, though generally, it’s just the other person having issues, which have nothing to do with you. The closer you are to someone, the more you will fear it has to do with you.

 

  • You tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. You make extremely sure that someone has been given every chance, and more, before you act to stop them from doing something that may be hurting or putting you under pressure. Even if this person is acting like a complete jerk, you’ll still try to give him understanding and compassion. Sadly, in this current world, doing such things are often abused, or worse, you end up being the bad person.

 

  • You feel a great connection to animals and things of nature, including plants and trees. Indeed, you may sense the energy of an area very strongly, be it positive or negative.

 

  • If you see someone in distress, pain or who is suffering, you will automatically feel bad along with them, in order to show they are not alone. You may even feel their physical pain and certainly feel their emotional pain. You may actually feel guilty if you do not empathize with such a person and will often put aside your own needs, even if you happen to be feeling good. You cannot abide another’s suffering.

 

  • You may have an overwhelming desire to help, heal and save others from themselves. It is important for the empath to not jump right in and try to ‘fix’ someone who they perceive to be going through a rough time. This is a trap many empaths can fall into, but often their help is not always welcome, or worse, their help is abused, and the empath ends up being used and drained of emotional energy and resources. An empath has a way of discerning if they should be helping someone or not. I call them ‘Soul Calls’.

 

  • You have an inbuilt lie detector. Someone can be telling you a bare-faced lie, but you will know if it’s not true. The interesting thing about this is that you may not know right away, but you will know, and often quite soon. People will often have a window to try and fool you, but once you’ve had time to consolidate all those feelings, you will always know if someone is trying to lie to you, or manipulate you.

 

  • Many empaths are natural healers, and have the ability to heal others either with the laying of hands, or from a distance. Empaths are generally drawn to healing, or a profession that aids others in some way.

 

  • If someone find something funny or sad, or has a strong opinion about a certain subject, you may find yourself agreeing with them, in order to match their energies. Then you may find yourself doing it with the next person who comes along. You always find yourself in agreement with who you are with and you only feel your true feelings when you are along. This doesn’t mean you are wishy-washy or weak, it means that you are tuning in to who the person is and what they are feeling, and allowing their energies to overwhelm yours. Many empaths do this because they feel it will help build a rapport with the other, but all it really does is invalidate who you are, and no one thanks you for it either. Standing in your own space and power can be quite challenging for an empath.

 

  • You don’t feel like you belong to this world. Indeed, the empath will often feel like a fish out of water, and honestly believe that they don’t belong here. That’s because the behaviour of others are so strange and alien to them, they just can’t relate.

 

  • You may feel overwhelmed by too many people, energies or emotions happening all at once. Being an empath is like being a psychic sponge. If you do not have control over your abilities, and know how to purge, you will eventually go into toxic overload, especially when there is so much psychic pollution out there. Sometimes having a cleansing shower can work wonders.

 

  • You and others consider yourself a highly sensitive person. Even the smallest change in moods can be picked up by you. It can be very disconcerting.
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Depression series – Empaths and the holidays or Where has my holiday cheer gone to?

Holiday depression

The holiday season is very hard on empaths. This is especially true for the Christmas and new year period, where everyone feels they should be with family, out celebrating and just having a good time.

Problem is that so many people are alone. They feel like they are missing out on a party where everyone is invited but them. They feel as though they should be enjoying things, but they can’t because they have nowhere to go. No-one to turn to.

What should be a happy and blissful period becomes a wretched and miserable experience.

People get lost in the memories of the past, of better times, of loved ones lost and some view how it was with rose coloured glasses; remembering the good old days.

Multiply this by several thousand, and then by several thousand more, and you have an energy that knocks the empath for a loop during the holiday period.

They will pick up on this intense feeling of depression and hopelessness, and not know why. There will be a sense of loneliness and separation, even if they are with loved ones.

In the northern hemisphere, it’s even worse, as it is winter in many places, and the lack of sunlight contributes to depression.

Add to that the Solstices (either longest or shortest day of the year) which tends to have chaotic energies, you have a recipe for massive depression.

How do you heal such a thing? Not easily. You can’t go around to each person, and help them. Many have their pride, and many are stuck in their own dramas, and unwilling to shift.

I know, personally, I spent my fair share of birthdays, Christmases and birthdays alone. Once upon a time it used to bother me greatly, but I reached a point where I realized that it really didn’t matter. It just meant I got to do what I wanted to do, which works for me.

For the New Year, instead of feeling the need to go out and party, I’d use that as an opportunity to send positive energies to the world and hopefully help bolster it.

Perhaps that is all you can do for now. Have a group prayer. Send love and healing energies to those who need it, and know that it will reach those who need it, and are ready to receive it.

But be aware of the fact that it’s a miserable for many. This is very important. Otherwise, you will feel depressed and will have no idea why there is so much pain.

Bach Flower Remedies: 
Red Chestnut  – Concern for others
Walnut – Protection against external influences (link breaker)
Star of Bethlehem  – For shock / trauma

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Depression series – Empaths and concern for others or Why didn’t you call?

Over-concern for others.

Check-list

  • You worry about others
  • You feel bad about when others try and fail.
  • We feel anxiety when others don’t come home when expected. 

Empaths often get depressed in regards to other people. 

It might be for the person who has gone to buy a special present for someone, only to have gotten it very wrong, due to lack of knowledge. You may feel bad for them because you feel all the effort they put into it has gone to waste.  You wish things had worked out for them with all that work, and it makes you feel, sad, bad and terribly depressed.

Perhaps you might be worried about a friend or a loved one in regards to how life is going for them, or if they are doing well or not.

If we fear something is wrong with them, we, ourselves, may feel anxious, and will not be able to rest until we are reassured that all is well. We tend to experience that awful sinking feeling of anxiety in the pit of our stomach until we hear some news that reassures us.

This is especially true for empaths with children who are out late or their partner has not returned at the normal time. We immediately imagine the worst and fear that something terrible has happened.

It’s hard to disassociate ourselves from the fear to check on your feelings, as we are too attached to the outcome, and that colours what we are feeling.

Intuition works well, but if it’s tainted by our fears, it can make us feel things which aren’t true. It’s hard to step back and be objective in these kind of situations as we tend to have too much of our own selves invested in our relationships.

For some empaths, they often don’t feel good unless others are feeling good. If they are having a rough time, we will put our own happiness on hold until they are doing better.

This is not healthy as it not only hurt you, but actually makes things worse for those you are concerned about. Not only do they have to deal with their own problems, but they also have to take you into account, putting pressure on them.

I know, from personal experience, that I can’t have a bad day without everyone around me going into melt down over it. It drives me crazy. Sometimes I just want to work through things, and not have to go into damage control because of it. Sometimes I just want to have a bad day and work through my feelings.

People have bad days. People need bad days. They need those times to let out their frustration. Or maybe they just aren’t feeling well. It doesn’t really matter what the reason is, it’s important to give them space to be, and show that they are supported, without making it into something it isn’t.

Of course, being empaths, we can’t help but care.

I would suggest that the key to dealing with this is to understand that the other person does know exactly what they are doing on a soul level. Everything is as it should be; even those really crappy events that seem to crop up in one’s life. If you can know and accept this, and know it in your heart, then you can let go of the fear, and understand that they are living their life as needed.

Bach Flower Remedy: 

Red Chestnut.